I'm so excited for when you get to ep 32. Natasha and Elise's acting is PHENOMENAL. Also, you can vote for Natasha @natvanlis and Elise @elise3aum to get Shorty awards by nominating them on twitter!
I finished the reviews months ago.
Is 32 hard to find?
The link at the top should put the entire season in order.
And of course CarmillaReviews supports the entire cast!
Hi. I really enjoy your reviews. They're amusing. Pretty much. I just wanted to ask you if it's you who put captions on the screenshots. I mean, if the pictures in the reviews are your creation? BI'm asking bcause they're awesome and sometimes I want to reblog them. Thanks. Keep doing this fantastic job..
Yes, I both write the reviews and make the graphics.
I understand the confusion, though. I am in two different mindsets when I perform these two tasks. I’m trying to be as funny as possible when I add captions, which includes pretending odd things like Laura is in a group marriage with Danny and Carmilla, and Perry a sex fiend, or Danny is intermittently Irish, or Laura is obsessed with Shrek. But when I write, while I still do try to be funny, I also can’t imply something that isn’t true or well-supported speculation. These two mindsets give the impression that two different people are contributing to the reviews.
There are three: me, my editor, and then me again.
It is my great honor to announce that Carmilla-Reviewed has hired a new staff member: imagine-some-gays, who has taken on the position of Editor. It is my belief that with her on board, you can expect to see higher-quality reviews.
So, I’ve been a huge supporter/fan of this show since day one - literally. The first time I watched the first episode, it had 57 views. Despite writing a fanfic (or three) I haven’t really delved into the meta/theorising aspect of the fandom, because for the most part I’m happy to watch the episodes, enjoy the episodes and stare at gifs of the episodes without thinking too hard about the MEANING BEHIND IT ALL.
I have been reading and generally enjoying carmilla-reviewed, and I find that the plot pieces and characters are generally articulately and wittily explored. And while I haven’t necessarily agreed with it all, I have been enjoying them.
Until the latest review.
I found myself shaking my head so much while reading, I thought I was going to get a cramp. So instead of holding onto these feelings and developing a stomach ulcer, I’m writing a sort of counter-argument to some of the thoughts/complaints put forward. This is written with the utmost respect, with the intention of offering a counter view point and really just venting.
I’m going to pull out the parts of the review that specifically bothered me and discuss why and how I disagree. Quoted parts will be bolded:
The review seems to have divided the show into two factions: SUPERKEWLSCARY PLOT STUFFS! & SHIPPERY ROMANCE OMG!SUBPLOT!
I would argue against this division. The show is multi-layered and there are a number of arcs intersecting - I don’t think one could successfully run without the other.
So let’s get the shipper stuff out of the way. And by out of the way I mean I’m about to ramble on for a while.
[We disrupt the very tension-filled narrative, where Laura could be snatched at any moment, where Carmilla’s betrayal is fully known to the Dean, where we’ve learned that there is a higher power beyond the Cabal and it’s a terrible god as old as time, where one of our beloved characters has been kidnapped to certain peril… for Carmilla to lead Laura in a dance that anyone who has ever learned the waltz knows is not the waltz, and for the sole purpose of making the Carmilla/Laura shippers giddy. There you go, guys, there’s the fifteen seconds you’ve been in conniptions about for weeks. ]
Kidnapped LaF. Scary Dean. Scarier light-god-thing that is possibly hungering after your soul. Sleeping hall don on your bed. And somewhere out there, a goat is waiting to be bacon-wrapped.
Consider all of these things.
Now, imagine you have a moment of quiet, just one moment of peace. You’re in your room, thinking about how nice it would be to, for one moment, not have to worry about all of the above.
Your options on this confusing night are:
a) run out into the dark, brandishing a sword, or perhaps a stake left behind by your beautiful ginger not-quite ex-girlfriend, searching blindly for the unspeakable evil.
b) cry in the shower, trying desperately not to touch the hair in the drain with your naked feet
c) share in a “fifteen second” moment of normalcy with the girl you’re starting to realise you might have a big ‘ole lesbian crush on, because why the hell not?
I can’t, in any sense see this as an interruption of the narrative, and I sure as Vlad don’t think its “sole purpose” was to make shippers giddy. In this scene, we finally see Carmilla with her walls down, we see Laura enjoying a moment with the girl she maybe, possibly, definitely likes. We’re never going to buy a legitimate relationship between these characters if we can’t see the progression of one.
[This is not about me supporting the rival ship.]
I mean, it kinda is, a little bit. Let’s be honest here.
[If Danny were here, the last thing in the world I would think the narrative would need is romantic development. That has a place: before or after the main action. This is the point in the series when all hell should be breaking loose. This is the point in the series when all hell should be breaking loose. Instead, the story has come to a screeching halt, not just for a dance, but in general. The Cabal and the Squad should be at war. Fuck midterms and parties.]
Here, I’d like to direct you to a little show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now, we know Carmilla has been heavily somewhat influenced by the Jossverse. And in no way is this a bad thing, in fact I would argue that it’s the best thing. And so, the parallels cannot be ignored.
[Buffy spoilers] Season 3 had the Mayor as the big bad, and the latter half of the season focused on the Scooby Gang trying (and often failing) to thwart his plans to become this giant snake thing that would like devour the town or something. There was this great metaphor about ascension and graduation, but let’s not get into that.
This was arguably, the most ambitious season yet. Then, in the third last episode, right before the big battle, this happened:
Buffy and her big broody boyfriend had epic relationship dramaz in an episode called ‘Prom’ that was… yup, you guessed it… about Prom.
Besides brief references to the big bad, the only threats were vaguely menacing hell hounds and the sheer magnitude of teenage Buffy’s heartache. This episode was ALL about the romantic development. In the midst of all the hell-breaking, the main plot came to a “screeching halt” in favour of feelings (insert Morris Albert song here).
And it worked. It worked really fucking well. Tell me you didn’t shed a tear (or ugly sob into a pillow) when Buffy was made Class Protector, or when Angel arrived for that dance.
This worked primarily because the show was about more than just fighting the big bad and adding to the mythos. It was about the characters. And proved (as Carmilla is doing) that a narrative can keep the tension up and still make room for emotionally driven character moments.
Which brings me to my next point. And here’s where my head-shaking intensified (I may or may not require a neck brace at this point).
[I shouldn’t have to even say this. I shouldn’t have to point out that it’s too early or too late to focus heavily on the romanticsubplot. If this show is supposed to be a romantic drama, why introduce so many villains, put so many characters in peril, make the terror so unique and engaging?]
Why does focus on the romantic development of the plot automatically become romanticsubplot or turn it into a “romantic drama”? Why assume that mythos and romance (which I would prefer to call “essential character development”) are mutually exclusive? This is a character-based show.
First and foremost, we’re invested in Laura Hollis and her tenacity and goodness and preoccupation with sugary snacks. We care (or most of us do) about Carmilla and her dark, painful past and what makes her tick and does she own any pyjamas because surely those jeans get uncomfortable after a while. We unabashedly love tall, brave, beautiful Danny, off fighting toadstools somewhere (we hope!). The fandom is obsessed with LaFerry because we adore their weird, perfect thing and how they balance each other out.
As it so happens, these characters are falling in love around each other, with each other, and through these relationships we see their development unfold.
So I think it’s silly to imply that the existence and screen time of these relationships somehow negates the “unique and engaging terror”.
[And stop pandering to the basest fans. Shippers can have their fanart and fanfiction until the cows go home. Shippers are great; I’m one. There will be time to tease and reward them. But the show has a responsibility to the story first and foremost.]
There is no pandering. Sure there are romantic relationship arcs, but these go hand in hand with character arcs and character arcs inform the plot. To simplify: Carmilla likes Laura (romance) this makes Carmilla more accommodating (character), she reads the book and finds out stuff (plot).
Shippers are not some spin-off audience that need to be catered for. Romantic interaction between characters is not some icing spread on a cake of plotty goodness. These interactions are like, eggs or flour, they’re part of the plot itself (I really want a cupcake now).
How is Laura asserting her agency and distancing herself from Danny not responsibly telling the story? How is the tension between LaF and Perry over LaF’s gender identity not responsibly telling the story? How is the burgeoning relationship between Carm and Laura not responsibly telling the story?
If these elements disappoint you/feel like they’re distracting from the “plot”, then perhaps you’re just looking for a different story.
Okay, so shipper stuff addressed, on to SUPERKEWLSCARY PLOT STUFFS!
[In this time of tragedy, I don’t want to start pointing fingers, but as the critic, it’s my duty. This is what happens when you alienate the two people who recommend caution. Our society too often celebrates the rebels but forgets that rules exist for a reason. Everything is about balance. I’ve said more than once Laura needs Danny and Carmilla, Perry and LaFontaine. We took away half of each of those pairs—the sensible halves, mind you—and this is the end result. People make the choices they do, and can’t see the future outcomes. This is a “hindsight is 20/20” situation. Laura had every reason to push Danny away; she was restricting her agency. LaFontaine had every reason to push Perry away; she was rejecting their gender identity. So we’re left with two impulsive adventurers and an enabler.]
So, we’ve got two camps here. Team Reckless: Laura and LaFontaine. Team Sensible: Danny and Perry (Carmilla’s Team Apathetic and doesn’t really count).
I agree that balance is important, but I don’t think that the lack of Perry or Danny led to this “end result”, if “end result” is meant to refer to LaFontaine’s abduction. I would argue that it was inevitable.
“She meddled in things that were none of her business. /Did you really think we wouldn’t find out what you were up to.”
LaFontaine was taken because they were seen as a threat. Which means that Team Reckless did or something important enough to be considered a threat to the big bad - they found the book. Had they been cautioned out of going to the library, they would never have rescued Richard JP Armitage, or discovered the Sumerian Tome: 101 Ways to Cook a Virgin. This book is, thus far their biggest lead. Let’s not forget that Laura and LaF’s first library misadventure led to near death the discovery of Carmilla’s past (and hilarious anagrams) at Silas.
The point here is that investigative journalism isn’t safe, and being cautious doesn’t get answers and desperate times, desperate measures. If you’re looking for a plucky heroine, here she is!
[And here she (Carmilla) is blocking Laura from working smarter.]
Um… no, she isn’t.
Laura: Okay but Perry’s not wrong either. We need to be smarter than this. We need to make sure that we’ve warned anybody that might be in harm’s way. Which includes you. If you are on the Silas Campus, you are in danger.
Carmilla: Duh.
Cut to several hours later, and we get the glorious return of Kirsch. And if you don’t think he’s glorious, he certainly is now. You can see that he really did care for Sarah Jane. He’s been bringing flowers to her memorial rock. He remembers her favorite color, too. It’s pink. I hope it was always pink, even when she was a premed prodigy.
See, this is how you make your audience—all of it—swoon. You show people who care. About the big things. About the little things.
I agree whole-heartedly that Kircsh is the adorablest puppy of them all and we should all love him despite/because of his misguided loyalty. But the implication here is that Carmilla shouldn’t be making you swoon, because she doesn’t care. Not about the big things.
Or the little things.
Watching a character go from this
to this
is pretty darn swoon-worthy in my opinion.
[Carmilla shuts down the pity party, for selfish reasons she claims, as always. She then gives this whole speech that is supposed to endear us to her. It probably endeared many of you, but to me it’s transparent. She can praise Laura with all the back-handed compliments she wants, at the end of the day, she doesn’t believe in Laura’s crusade, yet still doesn’t do anything to guide her to more manageable goals.]
If anything is transparent here it’s that Carmilla’s apathetic attitude to these events is beginning to wear thin. This comment was made to indicate her changing feelings. The goal here was to see Carmilla choose to comfort over her default mode of ennui. She could very easily have left Laura in a puddle of self-doubt and blame, but she fervently attempts to assuage Laura of her guilt.
[“she doesn’t believe in Laura’s crusade-”]
She may not have high hopes for Laura’s project winning the Pulitzer any time soon, but she must on some level believe or at least support what Laura is hoping to achieve. Carmilla is shown to be actively helping, despite her protests. She freely offers up everything she knows, she accompanies Laura and LaF to the library, she translates the Sumerian Tome of Do Not Want. If she doesn’t believe in Laura’s crusade, why help at all?
She’s a passive, reactive hero; she waits for Laura to throw herself into the fire and then drags her out.
Carmilla says she’s “not the hero of the piece”, and I would agree, but I don’t think she’s purely reactive either. She isn’t waiting to save Laura. Laura has accused Carmilla of saving her life twice now (mushrooms and library) and both times, they’ve been in it together in whatever mayhem, presumably fighting side-by-side. Instead of passive, I would use the term reluctant saviour, or more accurately, she’s the anti-hero. I was going to do a whole write up about why Carmilla is a successful anti-hero, but really, you can wiki that shit (be sure to read up about ethical egoism and Kant’s Moral Philosophy if you’re looking for something juicier).
[The writers have an arc they want to follow but provide no proper motivation to get their characters there anymore.]
and
[I want heroes again, stalwart champions who might lose allies, but because the enemy is too strong, not because they wallow around in inactivity and stupidity.]
You want stalwart heroes? Here’s a breakdown of the action so far:
LaF and Laura + spiralling flame vortex in the library!
Seducing and capturing a real live vampire!
Discovering that the Dean is some centuries old vessel of unholy NOPE.
The discovery of Vampire!Will
Brief mushroom interlude (that may or may not prove important to the main plot, but even if it doesn’t, it counts as world-building, which adds texture to the story).
Library adventure 2.0 and the recovery of The Book (which ultimately leads to a name and possibly a solution).
There has been a steady forward momentum of the narrative. I fail to see how anything in the last few episodes hinted at inactivity and stupidity. These characters are consistently working towards their goal. And yes, they go about it clumsily and recklessly and sometimes, foolishly, but that’s part of the charm. They’re not superheroes, they’re college kids fumbling through this, and that’s what makes it so engaging to watch.
Do you honestly want to watch a show where everyone communicates well and everyone knows everything and the reckless stand back and listen to the voices of reason and everyone gets a chocolate cupcake for good behaviour? Because I don’t.
[Why did our plucky, determined heroine become a short-sighted buffoon whose recklessness is praised metatextually, whose agency is punished narratively?
Actual likeable characters like Danny or Kirsch are ignored. But frustrating characters who ruin their lives and those of all their closest friends, like Laura and Carmilla, are visible 98% of the time.]
Here, I felt like the review devolved into a whine over “But where’s myyy favourite?!” which is purely subjective, and there’s no point in arguing the point except to say that “characters who ruin the lives of all their closest friends” might be a tad dramatic.
We need to remember that there are still eight episodes (seven by now) before the end. A lot can happen between then and now. Eight episodes ago, Carmilla was still tied to a chair and Laura was making love eyes at Danny. There’s still so much space for character development, plot development. I’m not saying this as an apologist, I’m saying this as someone who’s wholeheartedly invested and enjoying the pace and direction the writers are taking.
I’m a firm believer that constructive criticism has its place in fandom and I think that open debate is healthy (and fun!), so by counter-arguing these points, I’m really just voicing my opinion, and you’re welcome to disagree.
I do believe we’re in a unique position or have our voices heard and that’s something rare and precious in any fandom.
[disclaimer: none of the gifs are mine, but they are awesome]
WHY DID NOBODY FUCKING TELL ME kbearluna IS KAITLYN?!
KAITLYN ALEXANDER ENJOYED SOMETHING I MADE AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST A NICE FAN AND NOW I’VE COMPLETELY LOST ALL SENSE OF BALANCE. NO REALLY I’M SO EXCITED I HAVE VERTIGO!
KAITLYN, IF YOU’RE THERE I WILL PHOTOSHOP ALL THE SHIT YOU WANT.
