#casually-prish

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! I'm writing a character with partial paralysis in one leg, from the knee to the foot, which makes it difficult to walk sometimes. However, my character is a teenage boy and I'm writing him to be snarky and jokey, and I was wondering what jokes (if any) would be appropriate for him to make? For example, I was thinking about writing jabs with scenarios like how he dislikes using his cane as it makes him feel old, how he uses his leg to get out of things he doesn't want to do (like chores) and calling friends ableist as a joke if they don't listen to him. I obviously know to stay away from 'I hate my disability i would be better off without it' stuff but is generally considered alright to write him saying possibly slightly insensitive jokes about a disability? Also, if this entire question is really tone-deaf I'm very sorry, I have a non-physical condition which I poke fun at similarly all the time but I know physical disabilities are different.

Thank you for your time! I really love the work the mods here do :)

Hello,

you're probably going to have mixed reactions to it. In my view, it's completely fine if done right. I have a very similar disability to your character (also problems with one leg; I very visibly limp but rarely use a cane these days), and from my experience of having been a teenage boy and being around other teenage boys, you'd be hard-pressed to not have "potentially not very woke disability jokes" happen.

If he's comfortable joking about himself, his friends will probably join in on it. The key is for it to be all in good fun, more "teenage boy banter" and less "2009 anti-bullying campaign short film footage". No slurs for one thing, especially if it's set in the current day. Even the "ethical use of slurs in writing" aside, it just feels outdated. No currently-teenaged boy knows what "g*mp" even means nowadays. If you want to match the tone, the second example would probably be less "calling friends ableist as a joke if they don't listen to him" and more "SMH bro is bullying the disabled 🥀💔" (Lol).

For examples of disability jokes for that demographic: anything about "having to be nerfed", making up reasons for using the cane (bonus points if genuinely nonsensical, "due to the evil and intimidating wizard" type thing), pretending to be deeply offended whenever someone around him complains about a minor injury (alternatively: immediately bragging about how tough he must be then), "yooo check out my disability privilege" any time he gets to skip a queue/gets offered a seat/etc. If he has chronic pain related to the paralysis (extremely common) you can also always go the "I can't believe y'all are letting me suffer like this, real friends would've at LEAST performed a field amputation" route.

I'll also mention that "(primarily abled) friend group who makes disability jokes" does not necessarily need to mean "friend group that's ableist". If they're close, then making a jab at his leg could just be the natural reaction to him making a jab at someone else's hairline. If in a teenaged group of boys one of their disabilities is off-limits for jokes, they're probably not as close of a friend group lmao. That doesn't necessarily have to mean "literally anything goes", there can still be boundaries and other unspoken "hey man let's not do that".

Just don't make it "oops all disability!" either. It'll get very stale and gimmicky fast if he were to just be "the disabled one". This is my main problem with most of the disabled jokester characters; it gets boring pretty much immediately, or, in the very common worst-case scenarios: isn't even funny in the first place. Which is sadly unforgivable for a snarky character.

As I said, different people will have different reactions to it. Some will think it's ableist, others (like me) will see their own experience represented in a realistic way. When in doubt it's always good to have a sensitivity reader, especially one that knows what it's like to be disabled in your teens.

Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[cripplecharacters]

hello!!

you know how ambulatory wheelchair users have multiple mobility aids (like a walking stick for in the house, a walking frame, then obviously a wheelchair), do non-ambulatory wheelchair users have multiple aids as well? Or is it one-wheelchair-fits-all? for reference: My character is a teen and paralysed from the waist down. I don’t think she would get tired of pushing a manual wheelchair if that’s relevant at all.

thank you so much!! :)

Hello,

Ideally most people would want a backup chair if they can afford one (or it might just be their old wheelchair). If you are non-ambulatory then you don't want to just suddenly be bedbound or forced to crawl if your wheelchair has a technical failure of some sort.

Where I live motor assists for manual wheelchairs are somewhat common. You set them up in front of the wheelchair and can kinda turn it into a scooter. It can be great for longer outings or for people who need to switch between manual mode and assisted mode for whatever reason.

Some people might also have a wheelchair for other activities like sports or outdoors, but they are expensive and uncommon.

Sometimes people will also have a whole backup powerchair, especially if their disability is dynamic (we often talk about dynamic disability as if the "least disabled" time equals "ambulatory", but that's very much not the case). So they might be able to push a wheelchair at their baseline, but not during a flare up, for example.

There are also other aids that might not be exactly what you think when thinking "mobility aid" that still aid with mobility in the wide sense of the word, like ceiling hoists or tilt-in-space shower chairs.

I'd really take your character's financial situation into consideration here. Medical needs are also obviously important, but realistically most disabled people can't afford their ideal "setup" and have to settle for less.

mod Sasza

Hello!

My boyfriend is paralyzed from the waist down and uses a wheelchair full time as a result. He also plays wheelchair basketball semi-professionally (he's so cool).

At the moment, he has five chairs. One is his day chair, which is an expensive custom build and the one he uses for day-to-day life. Where we live, there are government grants available for medical supplies like this so while he did have to pay a portion of the cost himself, the grant and his insurance took care of most of it.

The second chair is his sports chair. This fits him and everything but it isn't a custom build like his day chair. Because he's semi-pro, he didn't have to pay the full cost for the chair himself as a lot of it came from the league and the grants/funding they have available.

The other two chairs are back-ups of sorts. They aren't custom built and wouldn't be suitable for day-to-day use as they don't fit him perfectly and are kind of lower quality.

He lives in a house with three floors (basement, main floor, and second floor) and dragging his chair up the stairs multiple times a day isn't feasible so he keeps one of the chairs in his bedroom upstairs. The other one is an actual backup for his main chair.

The fifth chair isn't technically his -- it's a loaner chair because his day chair is being repaired. For those who are unfamiliar with this concept, it's similar to getting a rental car while yours is in the shop.

Mod Sasza covered a lot of the info in his answer, I just wanted to share a specific example since the circumstances of my boyfriend and your character are fairly similar. Hopefully some of this is helpful.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus