Shen's Last Letter / Yang's Room / Chapter 8: Yang
Transcript:
[I have long wished for you to surpass me. I have always wished you would go to places I was never able to go.
I couldn't open the floodgate. And I couldn't stay in this world either.
What I saw was a confused world created by Yang, the former me. Yes. I too watched the same world you've seen, as somebody else's problem.
I didn't know who I was until Ein told me. I didn't know what I've done until Guattari told me. And I tried to understand the former me.
Like what kind of desires of mine created this world. Like what kind of wishes of mine made this world like this.
However, I was hardly able to understand the former me. But there were still some things I was able to understand. That this world exists for Juice and for my lost past.
The former me is the one that made Juice like that. I felt so sorry for Juice and was dismayed. But I couldn't provide her anything.
The former me is also the one that left the Shadows of the Milky Fuel Station's female machines that way. But I couldn't understand any of their appeals. I was just an incompetent machine who can do nothing.
I wondered if there was anything I could do. I thought about my role. I thought about what I am to the world.
I knew one thing for sure. That I haven't accomplished what is required of me in this world yet. And I knew somehow the floodgate must not be opened without it being accomplished. But I don't know what I must accomplish.
No, it doesn't matter if I accomplish it or not. The truth is that there is still something to be accomplished in this world, and this world is waiting for it to be accomplished.
It is likely that you are the one that will accomplish it in the end. I only exist to stop the gap. This conclusion I reached shocked me.
Why you? Why not me? But the devastating truth is, there's no possibility left in me. I am just an empty shell. There is no violence left in me. I'm just a puppet that has a useless ego level and power. A puppet that has no desire but to be stupidly honest. I had to accept this truth.
And that was not all. I am a hindrance to you. You won't be able to accomplish what you are capable of as long as I exist. I am putting a lid on the possibility this world has. I am the unwanted and obstructive lid itself. I should not stay in this world any longer. And if so, there is only one thing I can do. There is just one thing left for me to do for this world.
Please forgive me for testing you. I have no intention of forcing something on you anymore. I'm not qualified to do that.
You probably don't know what this world wants either. But there is one thing certain. If you're reading this, all the possibilities are in your hands right now. All the things the world wants can be found in the possibilities you are capable of choosing. And no matter what you choose, it will be the best choice. I believe so. This world is your world.
I have entrusted the to the floodgate passage to Juice. She should decide what to do with that key.]