In your hands is a dark teal envelope "sealed" with colorful staples that are embedded into the paper flap holding the packet shut. It smells floral and overly sweet, almost like some sort of cherry soda was spilled on it. Opening it is a hassle that pricks holes into the paper and tears it if you don't take the staples out one by one.
Open it?
How does one begin if not by getting their foot in the door and wishing you well on your commencement! Of course, I refer to your number! You are now eligible for a "drink on the town". A "night of refreshment". Congratulations!
I was informed by a superior that this means you've purchased a subscription for mind-altering celebration! Do you feel dizzy yet from the towering plans that g0d has for you? Here's a hint to your puzzle: Say yes, my dear associate.
Of course, you're obligated to share your revelries with me once you've had them. Keep me informed on all of your trends!
Everyone knows I ain't invited!! I'm the goose in a game full of ducks, but FUCK THEM! When you go swim or go sinking, you better remember to sponsor me. Deal's a deal, otherwise, lose my number!!
I don't promote these ideas YES I DO It's really just my preference I WANT FUN-HAVING WITH YOU NOW YOU ASSBUTT INVITE ME
Walk whatever path has less mines on it. Do what thou will, you MAGGOT!!!!!!!
Ha! Either way, my portfolio could use some liquidation. Employment is certainly not for the bleak of heart. So, even if you decline my offer... Maybe you'd be keen to share a fragment with me. I'll even trade you sometime...
You receive a letter from your dear Adversary about physical affection; he receives one of your hoodies, fair trade, right? 1x1x1x1 X Reader.
A rushed envelope lies under your bedframe. You pry it from it's relaxed frisson softly, like it will wilt and shudder to dust under your fingers. You caught the spoor of sweet pomegranate, copper, and an undertone of petrichor.
A dark magenta with a dark green, almost earthy, seal marked by an 'X' within an 'O'. Soft, but terse, like restraint.
"Hark, my light,
I'm aware of how...uncouth this letter is. It is discomforting, right? A being such as I, a fractal entity with many facets of ire, gentle as ever... It's new to me, but with observation, I assume I am doing it correctly.
I know you disagree however, you amorous torturer, you just about flourish watching me cosmically fall apart at seams I never knew I had. I can feel your soft smile beneath my skin already, reading this sentence. Sap.
But, the curse of my observant eye, I've caught something quite startling.
Beings full of heart, the lovers whom hath donned themselves in warmth and eternity, tend to share it through...Tangling, like string. "Cuddling", "Holding Hands"...Kisses. How flustering that I had forgotten, we have never shared a kiss before, nor have I ever mapped out the palm of your hand and molded it with mine.
O, however, what a thought that is; Our legs and fingers entwined with mine like Medusa and her serpentine hair would be, my claws scraping away at the tension betwixt the folds of your mind and pulling it directly from your scalp, and the most gratifying thought I bear:
Getting a taste of it.
Your thoughts are such a delicate delight, I only wish for a sample...Hopefully my lack of pennies are excusable. if not, I could find a better recompense? I do believe you've adapted enough to the taste of copper in your mouth to not mind mine, hm?
A forgotten mistake from the monarch that, hopefully, you will not behead me for with my pawns. I apologize, my death apple, for my ignorance...
...I hope to repent for it soon.
Yours to tame,
1x1x1x1. ♡"
While checking your closet for your sleepwear, still mooning over the heart doodle she'd added, you notice something missing.
Sure enough, one of your old hoodies were taken. Cute... You can't wait to see them in it.
As of today, I am now offering character letters as a commission option!
Receive a letter from the character of your choice! Whatever dynamic you want - romantic, platonic, familial. Whether you want ‘em to confess their undying love for you, or ask you to come with them to the grocery store, I can provide!
The base price is $4 AUD for a 500 word letter - payment upfront, either through paypal or as a Ko-fi donation. A higher word count can be requested at an extra cost.
I do not need to have prior knowledge of the character or source material! Give me your most obscure fave! (My normal commission rules apply, and I retain the right to refuse writing for certain media. As always, if you’re worried, just ask!)
If interested, shoot me a DM. A short form (covering character, dynamic, and other preferences) may be provided once your request has been accepted in order to make the whole process easier. Thank you for your attention, and I hope the rest of your day/night goes well!
I'm super excited to offer new commission opportunities!
IMPORTANT: I take requests in my inbox based on what catches my eye, but if you're willing to commission your story for it to be guaranteed and sent to you, you can find my commission prices below:
**Note: I will write for any fandom, but super niche fandoms may require a research fee**
Items:
Personalized Character Letter:
A personalized, digital letter that will be emailed to you from a character you choose!
(COMING SOON)Character Care Box:
Create your own character-inspired mystery box, made just for you!
Choose any fandom character, or even an original character, and I'll build a curated gift box around their personality, aesthetic, story, and the kind of items they might give you themselves. Every box is assembled after your order is placed, allowing me to make each one feel personal rather than like a pre-made one.
Your box may include a mix of themed gifts, cozy surprises, stationery, accessories, keepsakes, and other character-inspired items, all chosen to match the vibe of your selected character.
WRITING:
Writing Piece (0k - 1,999):
This is a commission for a writing piece that could be an original idea or part of a fandom within the word count of 0 to 1,999 words.
Writing Piece (2k - 4,999):
This is a commission for a writing piece that could be an original idea or part of a fandom within the word count of 2,000 to 4,999 words.
Writing Piece (5k - 9,999):
This is a commission for a writing piece that could be an original idea or part of a fandom within the word count of 5,000 to 9,999 words.
Writing Piece (10k - 15,999):
This is a commission for a writing piece that could be an original idea or part of a fandom within the word count of 5,000 to 9,999 words.
I’ve written and rewritten this a dozen times, and still, words feel too small to hold what I want to tell you. For someone who makes his living with sentences, you’d think I’d be better at this. But when it comes to you, everything I write feels unfinished—because how could I ever capture everything you mean to me on a single page?
You’ve brought a warmth into my life that even the sun itself couldn’t match. With you, I don’t have to be Superman, or a reporter, or anyone other than the man who looks across the room and feels his heart skip because you’re there. You remind me that strength isn’t measured by how much I can lift or how fast I can fly—it’s in moments like this, where I can admit I need you.
I admire your resilience, the way you carry both light and shadows and still manage to smile. I see your brilliance, your humor, your compassion—and I’m in awe every day. You make me want to slow down, to savor every laugh, every quiet evening, every look that says more than words could.
So here is my promise: no matter how chaotic the world gets, no matter what challenges come our way, you’ll never have to face them alone. I’ll be there—whether it’s with a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, or just the simple comfort of knowing someone is beside you who loves you completely.