“gay trans boys always have ‘bi’ boyfriends who are actually straight and see them as women” you are normalizing abuse
trans men, and especially younger trans boys, who are attracted to men are specifically targeted by abusers who attempt to limit their transitions and ignore their boundaries, especially sexual boundaries. trans men are told growing up that under patriarchy, our value comes from our bodies, and that by transitioning we ruin this. this leads to a belief that once we transition we will be unloveable, and that the pleasure our bodies bring to men is more important than what we want. this makes trans men incredibly vulnerable to this type of abuse.
and yet, instead of addressing these boyfriends as abusers, the queer community laughs about it. many of these jokes are self deprecating jokes by trans men, yet they rarely call out the dynamic as abusive. when non trans men make these jokes, it is even worse, making fun of minorities for being victims of abuse
if you see a trans man, especially a younger trans boy in a relationship like this, treat it as seriously as you would any other type of abuse