I Will Sh*t on Your Life... and Your Hands...
Hallo ma fellow reptiles!
Teh hoomins have left me alone to go get teh foods so I am freeeee!
Today I let one of teh hoomins know how teh fearful Severusss felt about her. I was minding meh own business pretending to be worm and dey pick me up and took meh out of home. I allow hoomins dis for bit but I soon showed dem who boss. I knew hoomin would expect snek to bite so I teased her by opening mouth and kissing her finger. Then when dey least expected it, I took sh*t on her hand. Teh hoomins were not expecting dis and put me back in ma home so dey could clean up mah sneaky sh*t. Teh hoomins are not my masters, I am ruler of dis flat.
Putting sneklr away five now.
All hail Lord Voldetort!
Severusssss