#chickawait

[bowchickawait]

i dont know a single washington quote

[bowchickawait]

so i was looking through my old evernote folders and found an old cul-de-sac rvb au that i made up and completely forgot about and looking through it is a wild ride like i dont remember writing any of this

the reds and blues own houses right next to each other

freckles the dog attempts to maul church every second of the day

church works at starbucks apparently and his entire diet consists of free stuff he gets to bring back from his work i think hes dying

sarge is a “war vet who retired fairly early because he can”

doc and donut share a house next to the reds house and donut has a flower garden in front and a vegetable garden out back

doc is a doctors assistant. i also wrote that he has “questionable work hours” and immediately after that “its speculated that he works retail out of town” like

felix and locus live together

felix is a painter who works in the basement apparently and tucker thinks that the idea is so shady that he thinks the real reason why felix spends so much time in the basement is because hes torturing people down there

church agrees with tucker and adds that locus is a writer by day and a “drag felixs victims into the basement for him” at night kind of guy. very romantic relationship they have going on

[bowchickawait]

felixs method of dealing with his psoriasis is just to scratch off all the gross bits and he never learns that its literally the worst way to take care of things and kimball gives him stuff to help it and

“its burning. youre trying to kill me”

“no, its trying to heal and you wont let it happen”

“youre killing me vanessa”

[bowchickawait]

so i had sarge as that one time i started a robot fight and i kind of wanted to expand on that on this great day

I may have exaggerated a liTTLE bit. there was only two robots in that fight. but i did start it and i did win.

More under the cut because wow I did not think it would get this long.

Yes, while i think that sarge would absolutely start a robot fight if given the chance (in the heat of the battle, while the blues are distracted with robots punching each other in the face, the reds will tAKE THEM BY SURPRISE. and because sarge, of course, had ordered hundreds of robot kits from command to build the robots fOR the robot fight, the robots are thus RED TEAM and will cease their distraction veiled fight and CELEBRATE because the reds WON THE WAR) i want to point out the reason for my starting a robot fight in the first place...

it was probably sophomore year in high school. i somehow, without any prior knowledge, had ended up in Intro to Robotics. I had no interest in robots and had no desire to BE there but. there i was. luckily my friend, who had a budding interest in robotics, was in my same class so i tolerated all the techno garbage that was being tossed over my head just so we could dick around later when we had some free time

As a sort of “finale” for the class, the teacher had ordered a bunch of robot kits so the students could get into groups and build them! and i formed a group with my friend and some other kids and we set out to build the robot (this was easy for me, unlike any other of the projects we had, because all the programming and robot stuff was all tHERE. all we had to do was screw in all the bolts and stuff)

after about a week or two all the groups in the class was just about finished building their robots and had started playing around with them. Getting a feel of how they move and stuff, you know? We had this big room. computers lined every wall with some large tables in the middle. So there was a lot of room for the robots to roll around and maybe pick up a pencil or something.

I was on one side of the room, robot controller in my hand, just about having the hang of how the robot moves. 

Now, there was this ~boy~ in the class. I had a sort of ~crush~ on him. It was sophomore year, you know, I’m pretty sure he was either a sophomore as well, or maybe even a junior. I had thought he was like. wow. good jaw line and stRIKING blue eyes like. ice blue. beautiful. tall. harmless sense of humor. great guy overall. But the point is 15 year old me did not know how to approach crushes, nor did I really even want to (that has not changed) bUT 15 year old me was hiped up on. whatever energy building a fucking robot exerted and i just kind of.

I don’t quite remember if he was in my group or not. I honestly don’t remember. But I do remember him playing around with another groups robot while the group watched on and I was on the other side of the room with my robot. and I looked at him. and i looked at his robot. and i looked at my robot. and i looked at his robot. and i looked at him again.

My friend was like “hoe don’t do it.”

Spur of the moment kind of thing: the only way to get this guy to notice me is if my robot punches his robot in the face. So I had my robot drive all the way over to his robot and I just. I just ran into his. And I backed up and did it again. And then I used the claw to try to flip his robot.

And because he was that sort of guy (thank god) he caught on to the fact that I was trying to fIGHT HIM. So he tried to flip mY robot with hIS and we just. Continued to crash our robots into each other and his group started cheering him on and my group cheered me on and all the while I prayed that the teacher wouldn’t notice this fucking robot fight happening in the middle of the room while students fucking cheered on and he soMEHOW DIDN’T NOTICE THIS OH MY GOD

I flipped Crush Guy’s robot over and he threw his arms up in defeat and his group did that “AW” noise and mine did the “yEAH” noise. 

Then I immediately made my robot run away back to me. The Crush Guy With Beautiful Eyes handed his controller back to the group and walked over to me and i saw him coming and I stared wide eyed at my friend like “wtf do I do how do I handle this situation how did I even get in this situation I didn’t even want to take this class help me”

and Guy came up to me and was all “Hey, you’re pretty good at this stuff” and that was that. I said thanks and he went off to do whatever else and 15 year old me was just “i can’t believe he noticed me”

and the point I’m trying to make here is Sarge would absolutely start a robot fight because he wouldn’t know how to get his crush to notice him this is The Only Way, Simmons.

[bowchickawait]

the chorusans as shit ive done

kimball: saw a lone baby crawling around the store and absolutely freaked out. completely lost it

jensen: asked someone for a bite of their sandwich and accidentally coughed on it. was allowed the keep the sandwich

smith: thanked his mother literally ten times every time she served him dinner for the span of exactly four years

bitters: got out of going on multiple family trips by pretending to be sick

palomo: failed a whole semester of math because he spent the entirety of every class trying to get a girl to notice him

matthews: made an off handed suggestion and was generally surprised that he was told that it was a great idea

doyle: was somehow the last surviving victim of his dodgeball team. seeing no other options, he struck himself out

dr. grey: stepped on a tiny shard of glass barefooted and didnt realize it until she saw blood smeared all over the floor. went "huh." and proceeded to stare at the piece of glass lodged into her toe amazed for like two minutes. how did she not notice this before. why is she not pulling it out

[bowchickawait]

york would mix and match brands he doesnt care

nike shirt, adidas pants, reebok shoes hes out the door

[bowchickawait]

i feel like wash would unconsciously hold and bite his straws when hes drinking from them because hes afraid hed choke on it or something

[bowchickawait]

i was just reminded of one of my favorite rvb moments ever

the moment when freckles essentially decked felix in the side of the face thats literally one of my fAVORITE moments e V  E  R its so good