Thinking about summer is hella stressful man.
My parents have essentially kicked me out of my house now without really officially saying it lol, so its like I'd be living on a blowup mattress in my parents office with all my shit in the garage till I found some place else to live.
Yet I would have to live in portland cause I work there, and do not own a car to commute to portland and back otherwise I totally would live in salem. Cars are expensive though, and I don't have the money to put into gas for that lunk of metal right now.
I wouldn't mind quitting my job though in portland to work in salem for the summer, but then I wouldn't be making nearly as much as I do now, and would be out of a job if I needed to be in portland again.
I don't even know if I wanna be at portland state anymore its kinda bogus to me atm just cause I hate my teachers right now ;3
Idk I'll just toot my way through it like I did high school, and figure out life afterwards. I think I've come to the conclusion that I wont ever be able to do what I really wanna do with my life, and will have to settle for something else because of money. Too bad the education system is all about those hot dollars.
I keep telling myself that I should never become a freelance artist because my work ethic when it comes to making art is pretty bad, but I wouldn't mind owning a small business if it came down to it. I guess I have my fathers mindset because he wanted to run some sort of business most of his life. I wonder if I should look into taking something for business, and see what its like.
It would be pretty sweet to run something with my father. Maybe finally put one of his crazy ideas into action, and see what happens.
I guess I have no idea what I want to do with my life anymore, and I wish I had more time to decide, but I feel like time is going by way too fast, and I have too many decisions to make. Like I'm at this total blank, and am just trying to come up with ideas at this point, but don't have the motivation to physically explore them. I wanna do something with my life, an don't wanna be stuck in some dead end office job, or cashier. I know I have the potential I just need to figure out what I wanna do.
I should talk to my school counselor and see what they say, yet I don't even have the motivation to go do that.
I'm not sad or anything, just kinda lost is all.
