#chronicpainsucksass

[medicallyme-est1977-2]

Surgery … again. I can’t catch a break. Ever. I workout to improve my overall health and fuck up my shoulder. Fucking sucks but I knew something was wrong. Too much pain for just a muscle pull or strain. So next week I go in for the pre-op shit and then schedule the surgery. This will be #31. Whatever. I just want it fixed. No pain meds except weed isn’t cutting it. Sharp burning pain sucks. I still use the arm and shit. Gotta be tough and I am but it still sucks ass. I need a new fucking body.

[incurableoptimistest1994]

One word, four letters; PAIN. Literally haven’t slept all night and I gotta get up in like 2 hours 😭 hoping my meds kick in and I can at least grab those few hours shut eye. #chronicpainsucksass #ihatemylefthiprn https://www.instagram.com/p/B9nky8EBX64/?igshid=1pocf7mutqkvt

[incurableoptimistest1994]

Very bad pain again today 🙃 in desperate need of a hug, but am also in so much pain I’m not sure I could actually bear being touched 🙃 Despite my sucky body, I’m actually doing pretty good mentally? Thank the lord for books, music, Netflix, and especially family and friends 💕 #palliativecarewarrior #chronicpainsucksass #thankthelordfornetflix #distractiontherapyforthewin https://www.instagram.com/p/B7GhhxVBSTu/?igshid=1b67579sfkken

[incurableoptimistest1994]

Having a Very Bad pain day today. First time being muggle sick with a cold/flu on my lower dose of opioids and boy am I feeling it. Was actually crying this morning the pain was so unbearable. Thankfully the pain is more controlled this afternoon, although still pretty bad; this morning it was an 8/10, now it’s more of a 6-7/10. Anyway, here’s some things I like to try and remember when I’m struggling 💖 #youjustdoit #youjustkeepliving #youdonthaveachoice #chronicpainsucksass #stillkickingass https://www.instagram.com/p/B7BQns-hOzU/?igshid=oehag2pe0v3z

[incurableoptimistest1994]

Good morning ☀️! Bad night again; I only got four hours sleep. I’m suffering awful bone and nerve pain in my legs and hips that the higher dose of fentanyl must’ve been hiding the last year or two... now I’m on a lower patch and less morphine I’m really feeling it. I missed having my dad here to do his job and give me a leg massage like in the good ol’ days😂! Anyways, gotta get on with things, pain and all 💪🏻 so I’m in my armchair having a coffee and watching Gavin and Stacey. #goodmorning #chronicpainsucksass #gottakeepgoingtho #firstidrinkthecoffeethenidothethings (at Cardiff) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7A3XROBaBp/?igshid=7in0emj4bf8d

[incurableoptimistest1994]

Not feeling very well today (pretty sure I’ve caught the cold mum and dad have both had... one last Christmas gift! Thanks guys 😂) and tbh suffering awfully with my pain. It’s one of those days were I have to remind myself why I want to be alive, because the pain is so unbearable that it makes me want to not exist. I am battling every second to just keep going; to bear this next second, next minute, next hour of pain. If you’d like to help distract me, please send; - photos of cute animals - your best joke - book or tv show recommendations (I’ve been binge watching Jessica Jones all morning, and now I’m on Gavin and Stacey because I need the laughs) - tell me something good that’s happened recently I’m reminding myself, despite this pain, that I am lucky to have so much to fight for 💪🏻💖 I just gotta get through the next second, next hour, next day... #chronicpainsucksass #palliativecarewarrior #youendurewhatisunbearable #andyoubearit #justgottagetthroughthisnextsecond https://www.instagram.com/p/B65rNiwhvbH/?igshid=1q10eyo4ku55j

[incurableoptimistest1994]

4.43am... still wide awake, still haven’t slept a wink. #notahappybunny #cantsleep #hellomonday #pleasekindlyfuckoff #chronicpainsucksass #spasmssuckass https://www.instagram.com/p/B51rZWcB2cN/?igshid=16sbk9q26g5ey

[incurableoptimistest1994]

It’s 2.50am and I am absolutely knackered but utterly unable to sleep 😭 my pain is awful and I’m trying everything... I’ve tried, in this order; - enough lavender oil to knock out an elephant - eucalyptus oil (good for relaxing spasming muscles) - my night time meds - Pukka nighttime tea - three hot water bottles - music - reading - pissing about on Pinterest and tumblr - morphine - buccal medazalam and sublingual fentanyl - more morphine - tea - cuddling tigger - planning my outfits for various upcoming outings and events - looking at photos on my phone that make me smile - planning my baking tomorrow - watching my star projector - making groaning noises that probably sound like a ghost but help me deal with the pain - swearing at the ceiling and my shitty body ... and NONE OF IT IS WORKING! Send help! #cantsleep #chronicpainsucksass #spasmssuckass https://www.instagram.com/p/B51fGnZhyXR/?igshid=gncm9kgd6yn4