The Happy Pill on my Desk
I miss you. Sometimes.
I'm sorry I left just like that but I don't know if I can go back.
I loved you and our time so much that if l went back and saw you again, I'm afraid I'll get lost in all the good things we had. I know I will.
I don't want to think of you.
Letting you go was like getting into rehab. I am forced to acknowledge that the ecstacy of you was killing me, changing me, and pulling me into an illusion that this was right.
I became addicted.
It's not your fault. You are not a bad person.You were made that way; to be fun, to give others happiness, to be the spark at the end of their day and the smile that stretched their lips.
Love is made of you.
But like the glutton I am I couldn't get enough of what you gave me. And it was killing me. So l left. Left to earn my strength and will to face reality with a grin of my own. For the first time, without you.
I had to go back for the others I abandoned in place of you.
Thank you for helping me escape. Even for just a little while.
Thank you for being with me for what we thought would be forever.
You were a wonderful experience.