Recently I was reading about the clerihew, a type of four-line poem created by Edmund Clerihew Bentley. The clerihew is biographical in nature, with the first line ending with -- or usually consisting solely of -- the name of the subject. They have an AABB rhyme scheme with no set line length or meter, often using forced rhymes and bathos to humorous effect. I’ve had fun writing some of my own, and since my other current obsession is Doctor Who, I hereby present...
CLERIWHO
I. William Hartnell Was the first to play the part well, With some hesitant hums And a twiddle of his thumbs.
II. Patrick Troughton Silenced the doubtin’. The second Doctor in order, He also played the recorder.
III. Jon Pertwee Played Doctor number three. After that, He stuffed straw in his hat.
IV. Then came Tom Baker, Whose monsters couldn’t look faker. He wore an absurdly long scarf, And made us all larf.
V. Peter Davison Was so young he could play a son Of the previous Time Lords. Also he came dressed for Lord’s.
VI. Colin Baker Was not related to Tom Baker. His series had a lamentable jacket in - After two years, they told him to pack it in.
VII. Sylvester McCoy Was the last to enjoy The role in its original run, Though he and Ace were great fun.
VIII. Paul McGann Was a flash in the pan. He now goes to work in his pyjamas When recording one of his Big Finish audio dramas.
(TECHNICALLY IX. John Hurt Forced me to subvert The numbering system. Blink and you missed him.)
IX. Christopher Eccleston Was the first actor they settled on When reviving the show, But after just one year he had to go.
X. David Tennant Could do what most men can’t. It turns out, girls do make passes At men who wear 3D glasses.
XI. Matt Smith Was full of pith. He played the posh fool, And claimed that bow ties were cool.
XII. Peter Capaldi Gied it laldy - But most of the scripts Belonged in a skip.
XIII. Jodie Whittaker, We’ve only seen a bit of her - But in that first scene, She makes a brilliant Doctor Thirteen.