It’s Okay If He’s Okay
AePete angst for @theteatimechronicles .
Summary: Ae gets tired of being pushed away by Pete whenever any girls get interested in him, but he didn’t count on the fact that Pete would be so quick to replace him, and with none other than Tin.
Word count: 1,413 words.
First, it was Chompoo. Despite the girl’s best intentions, she still caused a lot of trouble to his relationship with Pete, mostly because Ae couldn’t bring himself to break her heart by telling her that he was already interested in someone else, or even that that someone was Pete. He didn’t know what her reaction would be, and she wasn’t one of their friends, so the soccer player didn’t want to expose Pete like that, his Koon-Chai was his only concern, but as it appeared, Pete thought otherwise. It took some time, but he finally managed to convince Pete was the only one in his heart.
The second one was May, a girl from Engineering. Differently from Chompoo, she was much more attentive. She noticed the closeness between Pete and him after just a few minutes of hanging out together. Ae could see how uncomfortable she made his Koon-Chai feel, because whenever the girl spoke, the IC student would try and shrink in on himself, as if he was attempting to disappear out of thin air. The sight made the soccer player’s protective instinct kick in and so he moved to stand slightly in front of Pete, making himself a wall between his boyfriend and the girl. That didn’t go unnoticed by May. “I’m not going to do anything to him.” She said, face softening just the slightest bit. “I didn’t know you already had someone you cared for.” There was no venom in the way she said those words, and Ae could feel relief dawn on him the moment she left. When he turned to look at Pete, he expected to see the same sentiment reflected on the taller male’s face, but what he found there was longing, doubt, hurt… “Ai Pete!” He called, an attempt to bring attention to himself and maybe erase some of that doubt in the IC student’s eyes. It took some time for the Koon-Chai to finally respond him, but when he did, he was not meeting Ae’s gaze. “She is very pretty!” The taller of the two commented, causing the soccer player’s forehead to crease in confusion. “You should go out with her.”
Anger flared up in Ae, and as the habit he had picked up dictated, he took Pete by the hand and started dragging the other male to a more secluded section of the Engineering building. With a swift movement, he slammed the Koon-Chai against a wall, immediately closing the distance between them. Ae had to stand on his tiptoes in order to kiss, but he didn’t care, he wanted to show Pete that no pretty girl would ever make him feel the way he felt for the IC student. Pete kissed him back, first with some reluctance, but soon he had that dazzled look that made Ae go crazy with lust. Pete didn’t mention May again after that.
By the third time Pete tried to push him towards another girl that showed interest on him, Ae started wondering if this was going to be a recurring thing. If every time someone new came up his boyfriend would try to push him away and ignore him like he was doing right now. It took days for Ae to get Pete to talk to him properly again and spend time with him, and even so, he felt a strain in their relationship.
When the fourth time came around, Ae was already done with it. He was furious that Pete would be so inconsiderate towards his feelings and treat them as if they would change fortnight whenever a girl showed interest towards him. He felt that it was no longer about him, but rather about Pete trying to find a reason to get rid of him. That notion sent a pang of pain through his heart, and when he finally managed to calm down a bit, he found he was crying. With a hand pressed against his forehead, Ae picked up his phone and shot a quick text to Pete, saying they needed to talk. At first, the IC student tried to make up excuses not to meet him, like he did every time this happened. This time he said he had plans with his mother and didn’t budge until Ae repeated several times that it was important.
They met up at the soccer field. It felt right for them to talk there. The place had somehow become kind of their place, specially when they met up there during the evening. “Ae…” The way Pete said his name almost broke the soccer player’s resolve. He could see the concern there in his Koon-Chai’s face. “Ai Pete! Why are you ignoring me again?” Ae instinctively took a step closer to his boyfriend, reaching forward to form a grasp around Pete’s bicep. “I’m… I’m not…” He could have believed the IC student’s word if it wasn’t for the guilty expression the taller male was sporting. “Don’t lie to me.” Ae demanded, his fingers tightening into a vice-like grasp around the other male’s arm. “Ae… You shouldn’t be here talking to me, you should be talking to Prae…” That was the last straw for the shorter male. He couldn’t stand much more of this. “I don’t like it when you try to push me into other people. It feels like you’re just trying to find a way to get rid of me without having to feel guilty.” Pete’s eyes widened at that and he was quick to shake his head, denying Ae’s words. “Ae, it’s not that! I’m not trying to…” The soccer player didn’t let him finish. “Let’s break up.” Maybe he shouldn’t be making such a harsh decision while he was this angry, but Ae was tired of it, tired of having to prove his love to Pete time and time again without it ever seeming to be enough.
With determination, he finally released Pete from his grasp and then turned his back on his now ex-boyfriend before the tears started falling from his eyes. He never wanted to do this, to break up with his Koon-Chai, but he didn’t want to feel like this anymore, like his love was not enough, like no matter how many times he assured Pete that he only loved him, the IC student still refused to believe. When Pete tried to reach for his shoulder, Ae shook the other male’s hand away and started walking, back to his dorm and away from Pete.
-x-
Ae didn’t see Pete again for weeks, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight of his ex-boyfriend and Tin together. They were not doing anything particularly intimate, but the way in which Pete was resting his head against Tin’s shoulder much he had done to Ae all that time ago when they first fought because of Chompoo brought him immense pain. The soccer player tried to look away, but found that he couldn’t. His eyes remained glued to the pair, observing with scrutiny. Pete didn’t seem at all affected by their break up, if anything, the IC student looked happier than Ae hadn’t seen him in a while. That realisation brought another pang to his heart. He didn’t think Pete would be so quick to replace him, so quick to be happy again while Ae was still miserable. It didn’t take long for the tears to start running down his cheeks, nor for Ae to raise his hand to furiously wipe them away. It had been his decision to break up with Pete. He had no right to be jealous or sad anymore. Or at least that’s what he told himself in order to try and soothe his pain.
The soccer player kept staring at the pair for who knows how long, and only stopped when he felt an arm coming around his shoulders, turning him away from Pete and Tin and towards the other way. He looked up to confirm it was Pond, looking more serious than Ae had ever seen him look. There was no trace of a smile on his best friend’s face or even any amusement. “Let’s get out of here.” Ae wanted to argue, but really, what would be the use? He had lost Pete and now Pete was with Tin, someone who could give him things that Ae would never be able to. It was with that in mind that he let Pond take him away. What mattered was that Pete was happy and well taken care of, nothing else.