#cockitchy

[g4shu-s4t0u-h4t3r]

Cockitchy v2

[my-brain-on-sleep-deprivation]

[chillout-catmom-blog]

i feel like i dont know who i am anymore. my personalities... are the exact opposite of each other.

what am i? 

i’m prideful. i’m a queen. i rule over all of you. i’m above everyone else. you must love me. you must cherish me. you must be mine. 

i’m sweet. i’m kind. i’m respectful. you are my first priority. i’m below everyone else. everyone else has power over me.

i’m obsessive. i’m possessive. you’re mine. mine, mine, mine. mine only. nobody else is allowed to have you. i love you so much. dont leave me, ever ever ever.

there’s 3 sides of me.

i wish people would recognize me. love me. respect me. look at me. praise me. give me the attention i want. give me everything i want.

but i want people to leave me alone. don’t look in my direction. don’t talk to me. i’m fine on my own.

i want someone who understands my swirling emotions and accepts me the way i am. love me the way i am. but i’ll always be the quiet, retracted, secretive freak, won’t i?

i’m so so anxious. i feel like i’m losing my light. i really just wanted to be guided to my salvation. you all keep saying that i’m “obsessed” with having crushes on people who don’t exist.

i have a good reason for that. and it’s because nobody is willing to approach me first. nobody is willing to start a conversation with me. nobody is willing to love me. nobody. so that’s why... living in my own little world is better than living my life. i have people who love me. i have people who will laugh along with me. i have people i can enjoy my time with. to hell with realism, this is what happens if nobody, NOBODY shows that they love me, that they trust me, that they respect me.

[chillout-catmom-blog]

jeez, you keep saying you want friends, but when you do, you stop talking to them 2 days later, why demand more? pick up more conversations with them.