#conductor's rambles

[the-sleepy-conductor]

Addressing the elephant in the room.

By now I’m assuming 99% of the Submas fandom is aware of the issue going on. I can’t speak on behalf of the people that have been affected but as one of the many people who have been accused of secretly being a blankshipper, how f***ing dare you.

I feel like I’m pretty patient and tolerant with the bs I get on this site, but the “witch hunting” problem happening right now has me seething. I tried to stay respectful and keep quiet but I’m seeing red at this point. Even if I wasn’t one of the targets, I would still be just as angry.

To the person or people handing out “callout posts” and attacking people in their inboxes, that is admittedly some of the most disgusting behavior I have seen in the Submas fandom by far. You are doing nobody any favors. You’re not being some hero by trying to uncover secret blankshipping accounts that likely don’t exist. And if they do exist, who the hell cares?

I said it in this post and I will say it again: The internet does not revolve you and your preferences. You have to curate your own experience. Block tags, filter words, look away and move on. The fact that so many people have stooped to the lowest level running around and creating unspoken dni lists, makes me so indescribably frustrated with this fandom.

You are allowed to dislike blankshipping, but do not harass people over it and absolutely do not go around accusing people of being affiliated with said ship. It’s none of your damn business. This kind of behavior is genuinely harmful to others and I’ve seen so many amazing people in this community leave, and they’re never heard from again. All because of bullying and harassment.

I’m more active on my TikTok now than my Tumblr, and if you’ve been following it you’ll know I’ve been going through a ton of mental health issues. My Submas TikTok account is everything to me, and it’s in jeopardy because people have been creating posts saying to report me because I post nsfw blankshipping. Are you f***ing serious??? The one thing that has helped me with my mental state for the past several months is in the brink of permanent termination because of an accusation. I have not been taking this news lightly, and I was forced to practically go into hiding and put everything on a hiatus. Just as I was starting to enter a better headspace, a major source of my joy is being taken from me.

I will not reply to hostile asks in my inbox. I refuse to outright acknowledge you in that way. But let this be a message to the people harassing others in the Submas community, blankshipper or no, to knock it off. I haven’t seen a “witch hunt” this bad since 2022.

To everyone else, please take care and don’t take those hostile messages personally. I know that’s easier said than done but it’s not worth your mental health and/or emotional health. Please stay safe, and keep doing what you love.

[the-sleepy-conductor]

Actual conversation between me and one of my irl friends on Discord- we were talking about how absurd it was that we started obsessing over what seemed like the most random characters.

Basically, me trying to figure out why they give me dopamine.

Forgive my bad wording I have a splitting headache.

[the-sleepy-conductor]

I stayed up until 5:30am deep cleaning my walk in closet all night, which was mostly my mom’s old scrapbooking stuff she tossed in there for 13 years, and as someone who never cleans because of executive dysfunction I was pretty proud of myself.

Slept until 1pm, and when parents questioned why, I told them how much I cleaned and reorganized.

All they told me was to get up and do something “actually productive.”

That was a few days ago, and now all I keep thinking about is Ingo and Emmet telling me I did a good job and encouraging me to tackle the task of cleaning the rest of my actual bedroom.

Said messy bedroom is a result of me falling into a depression a decade ago, never being in the right mental state to do something about it, and then trying to get myself to clean it but for some reason unable to get out of bed or do anything at all. No matter how badly I wanted to.

ADHD meds kicked in and I’m about to kick ass cleaning a mess that took 11 years to make. While playing Ingo’s and Emmet’s voice lines from Masters EX because the way they shout at you to do your best like proud parents is pretty much the only thing keeping me going.

Sorry for the ramble, I wanted to put this out here bc my parents don’t give a Patrat’s ass.

[the-sleepy-conductor]

MY BABIES MY BABIES ARE HERE

THANK YOU @cecilioque I WAS HAVING SUCH A ROUGH TIME AND THESE LITTLE CUTIES CHEERED ME UP IMMENSELY

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO SUNNY

ALSO THOSE ARE THE TRAIN PINS I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER DAY :D THEY ALL ARRIVED TOGETHER

[the-sleepy-conductor]

Cosplaying is so weird bc what do you mean I can be Subway Boss Ingo while getting myself a bowl of Cheerios and I can do that whenever I want

I’m going to see and ride a steam train this weekend and I so badly want to just dress up as Ingo and get some pictures taken with the train

Only thing stopping me from doing that is not just judgmental family but also the fact I will stand out a ton and definitely get weird looks and judged

Besides, if my mom saw me wearing a necktie she’d go batshit crazy

I hate being self conscious

[the-sleepy-conductor]

So. More drama is being stirred up again. I’m not repeating myself like I did last time, about the blankshipping, and the callout posts, and the witch hunts. I’m tired.

That being said, I have not made any original Submas posts with my own hands in more than a year and I’m still receiving bullshit. I opened Tumblr the other day to find my askbox full of questions asking if I’m blankship or if I support the topics being thrown around. I am still being accused of posting NSFW blankshipping and not privating anything so minors can see it. I don’t know how many times I have to say it but I DO NOT POST NSFW ANYTHING. There’s no proof I posted anything like that but unfortunately I have nothing to defend myself either. So for the sake of my own sanity. I am leaving the Submas fandom. I didn’t ever want to have to say those words but I’m sick and tired of breaking down crying every other day because I can’t prove myself innocent. My mental health is in the trenches and this is the absolute last thing I need. If people can’t get their shit together then I don’t even want to bother with them in the first place. I won’t deactivate my Tumblr for now, but I’m privating all my socials on other platforms because I deadass can’t take this anymore. I’m packing up my shit and leaving.

Thanks Anon(s). You have one less scumbag to deal with.

[the-sleepy-conductor]

Ok. So. My mom is trying to enforce Life360 on me because Strict Parent™ and I was talking about it with one of my friends today, and I randomly had an idea for what I should put the profile picture as:

My parents already think I'm nuts bc they know I'm a certified simp for the Subway Bosses so yeah sometimes I like to think I'm funny.

[the-sleepy-conductor]

So I had the funniest dream a bit ago and it's just been on my mind the whole 2 hours I've been at work.

It was one of those dreams where I'm kinda like, not in control of my thoughts or actions? Like I know I'm me but I'm kinda just watching things unfold through my eyes without being in control, if that makes sense?

Anyway, I was playing ORAS on my 3ds while heading upstairs to my bedroom, and I don't notice anything is off until I actually walk up to my bed. And I look down to see Subway Boss Ingo himself sleeping in my bed. Like, this man is all curled up in my blankets snoozing away like it's his bed and not mine. Snork mimimimimimi type crap. Kinda like having a family gathering and someone sticks their baby on your bed. (Fr why does my family do this)

So what do I do? I just shake his shoulder while going "Ingo. Ingo. Ingo. Ingo. Ingo." And I must've done it like 20 times before he snorts real loud and jolts awake like he was being chased by a serial killer in his dream, and he doesn't even open his eyes but I somehow know he's awake. And I swear this was the wildest thing I've heard from a dream. I legit went "Ingo, can't you just get mashed potatoes from a regular potato? Like, just take a bite out of a potato, chew it up and swallow it, and your stomach won't know the difference?" The best part was that he didn't even get a chance to answer me, because my alarm went off. Which was even funnier to me because my alarm is literally one of Ingo's voice clips from Masters shouting "good morning" Mans was so done with me he kicked me out of my own dream.

"Your dreams have meanings"

THEN WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???