A New Routine Please
I had a goal of waking up at 8AM consistently this year, but now I don’t see the point.
Two reasons made me want to do it: (1) I would spend more time with someone in the morning and sleep when they sleep at night, and (2) it felt good having all day to do everything I needed to do and to chill before the 0:00 comes.
After our farewell, I tried to keep the habit of sleeping and waking up early even without reason #1, but it’s so hard. For the past days, waking up at 8AM was awfully lonely, especially when my friends were not online. It made me feel the void even more. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind not having the company of my friends, it’s the fact that I kept remembering the old routine I would’ve done in those hours like the busy mornings filled with work or the random conversations filled with smiles, laughs, or tears-- all those gone.
I wanted to keep the habit because I knew reason #2 really made me productive before, but now, I always either end up staring at a blank screen, breaking down and crying, or watching a new/old series/film to cope.
Maybe in March I’ll try again, but for now, I’ll let myself stay up until I pass out and sleep the awful lonely morning away.