*Throws rock at stress*
It’s a high pain day today... high stress too. Funds are low and debts are high, spirits are low, pain is high... it’s life right? ahhhhhhhhh stress!!! *throws rock at stress*
It’s also a scary day today... being in both financial and medical limbo is a scary place to be... not somewhere I thought I would ever be... not at my age! I mean, who at 30 thinks their lives are going to be put on hold because of injury/illness? You know, I thought I was prepared for this... even though I didn’t think it would happen... I have long term disability insurance... it does nothing for 4 months of unemployment... I didn’t have that much sick time so now I’m in limbo for that. Also, who’s to say that my injury won’t get better? I am trying to be optimistic but each day I hope to feel better and I wake up the same or worse. Today, I woke up so exhausted and sore... it was a very restless night of attempted sleep. You know when you are so tired that you feel like you are in a cloud? That was me this morning, I had to fight to get out of bed... why didn’t I sleep in you say? I didn’t have to be awake at any particular time you say? I’m aware... but anyone with chronic pain knows that when the body is awake, it’s awake and needs to start moving. Sometimes that’s 5am, sometimes that’s 9 am... Very rarely does one get a restful sleep... I’m getting very good at functioning on less and less sleep. Yay for not being a bitch!
Anyone with chronic pain, what do you do to fill your time? My husband and I love to play music, he plays guitar and we both sing... this is fun but on high pain days, we can’t jam for long. Breathing deep really puts pressure on my spine and makes that electrical pain even worse, not to mention my husbands spinal stenosis makes holding the weight of the guitar for extended periods of time a little difficult. We usually start jamming standing (also a good way to get some standing time in while not walking too far) but then resort to sitting with back support and then finally have to give up when the pain gets too bad. It’s stupid... something we love to do that shouldn’t hurt, hurts like hell. Fuck right off.
In happy news, I baked some fresh bread today! I let the stand mixer do the work for me, I just had to lift the dough onto the pan, make a few slashes in the top and put it in the oven. The bread turned out great! Anyone want to buy some bread?? lol... half kidding.
My husband decided to shave his head today... part way through the razor exploded... yup... that’s about right for our luck! lol So of course we did what anyone would do... use the trim attachment to the face shaver and hope for the best! Well... 2 hours and several hilarious hairline progress pics later, his head was shaved and our negative energy was gone. Sometimes the best medicine really is laughter... even if it’s at yourself!
This is our furbaby... he makes us smile every day! He wakes us up with kisses and cuddles with us while we fall asleep. He’s the best thing to ever happen to us both (aside from marrying each other of course lol) and we love him to pieces! xoxooxoxoxoxox *snuggles*