You could hear that the princess had finished. She did this every night before bed. Sometimes, a few times. You remember a prior occasion, hearing her overwhelmed whimpers turn into ragged breathing and stepping in only for her to quickly pull her blanket up and stammer out that you should return later.
So you crack the door open a little and wait for a response, finding the room to be serene, but for her tangled in the sheets of her bed. You walk to her; she's already almost asleep. She blinks at you and smiles, a flourish of her hand saying "go on".
Pulling back the duvet, you assess her nightly mess. She certainly must have went at it a few times; it had been under a quarter hour, but she was soaked through her panties, nightgown, and sheet and into the duvet. Sighing, you pull her out of her clothes, she limply following your lead. She was so cute like this, exhaustion leaving her dick adorably-- fittingly, you might add,--petite.
You pulled her into your lap, taking a warm rag and cleaning her up, her murmuring with approval, then take a dry towel, lest the water leave her cold. She slept easiest after orgasm, and it was essential to not interrupt that rest.
Satisfied that she was clean enough, you take the bell at the side of her bed, clinging her tighter to her chest and cooing so the ringing wouldn't startle her, rocking her in your arms as two other maids replace the sheets and duvet.
"Mama..." She responds in a murmur, hand gripping at the hem of your uniform, pulling it down, her closed eyes turning the lewd act adorably innocent. You smile and stroke a hand through her hair. If you give her good dreams, all the better.
One of the other maids hands you a pair of warm pajamas. You lay her into the warm, clean sheets and begin getting her dressed, careful not to stir her.
"Wonderful, your highness," you whisper as she lifts her arms to allow you to put her new nightgown on. She smiles, well-pleased with the assessment.
You tuck her in and kiss her forehead. She mimes a kiss back, and you allow you both the indulgence of leaning into it.
"Nighnigh..." She finally says, trailing off into blissful sleep before she finishes the word, an assurance you've done your job to perfection as you retire to your own quarters.
"You'd think by now they'd have run out on each other or at least of things to fight about."
Jac turned to her sister, it took effort to hear her small voice over their parents' annual Thanksgiving argument. The joke was rehearsed, and that worried her. Of course, looking at Ellie, body stiff in jeans and a hoodie, she couldn't find anything to reassure either of them. Maybe Ellie had the right idea. At least they could joke about it.
"Just like old times, I guess."
"Haha yeah I guess."
It felt so strange to see Ellie like this. When she'd visited Jac at college, beaming and in a cute sundress, it'd been too easy to act like that was who she got to be now. That they'd both found themselves. Rather than the truth, that you abandoned her.
"Jac?" Ellie asked, snapping her out of it. Or maybe it was the yelling outside the door. Ellie had somehow already sat on the edge of the bed.
The smile Jac put on when she said she was "fine, just strange to be back" wasn't all facade. It was nice to hear Ellie call her that.
"Well, you don't have to stand. Unless you wanna sleep on the couch now." Ellie's eyes hit the bottom corner of the doorframe, as another shout slipped through.
"I guess not." Jac said, sitting down.
"I can't believe dad turned your bedroom into a gym," Ellie said, then looked at Jac's arms, "I guess you spend a lot of time in those though."
Ellie had made the same joke when she told Jac about dad doing that while visiting her. Last time she was flattered and flexed a bit, this time she just made herself laugh; Ellie relying this much on scripted jokes made her worry. What was she so nervous about?
"Okay, seriously," Ellie said, throwing a stuffed tiger at her, "What is up with you?"
"Hey! Well I..." Jac looked at her sister again. She guessed honesty was her only option, "it's strange, seeing you. Dressed like this again." It hurts in my guts.
"Yeah, well, it's not great lol."
"Still got the dresses I got you?"
Ellie could hear the mischief in her older sister's voice, "Mom and dad are, like, right down the hall."
"Like we won't know when they're done?" Jac laughed, casting her own glance towards that traitorous corner of the doorframe. Like you can't echolocate their footsteps?
Ellie looked around, then kind of giddily back to Jac "Okay, okay."
As she pulled out the trunk under the bed, Jac stood up and faced the door. Half for Ellie's privacy, half to give them both the security of Jac playing sentry.
It gave Jac a lot of time with her parent's voices, the pointed yous and indignant Is. She found herself standing firmer, her gaze hardening. What would I do...
"Jac?" The voice behind her melted her, and she turned around. Her sister, half in the dress and taking it off, looked like she was going to cry.
Jac rushed to her sister's side.
"Ellie? Ellie, honey, what's wrong?"
"I can't do it-not right now-its-wearing-" Ellie couldn't seem to get the words out her mouth or her elbows out of the dress, both frustrations rendering the other task seemingly impossible
Jac helped her to the bed, shushing her. She lifted the dress up off of Ellie. It didn't even feel strange. She felt just like she did as kid, helping her baby sibling get changed for bed.
So she did the next step, grabbing the hoodie off the floor and guiding Ellie's arms through it.
Then she held Ellie's hand, and turned her face towards her own, "You know you're beautiful in that dress, right?" I knew you would be.
Ellie sniffled in a breath, "It's not that I just. I can't feel it. Not right now. I can't start caring."
As she spoke. Ellie's gaze hit the floor and made its way to the doorframe again. The implication broke Jac's heart.
"Oh, Ellie..." she pulled Ellie in for a hug and stroked her hair.
Ellie clung to the back of her big sister's shirt.
They sat like that for a minute, before Jac broke, well, not the silence, there still wasn't any of that, but the stillness of the room, at least.
"To be honest, that's what got to me." She began, stirring Ellie to look up at her, "Plenty of girls wear jeans and whatever it's the..." She searched for the word.
"The numbness." Ellie supplied.
"Yeah, I just," fought so hard to make it so you didn't have to.
The fight had quieted, replaced with the echoes of rash actions. They sat in that quasisilence a second longer.
Ellie placed her hand on Jac's chest and pushed herself up, "Okay." She whispered
"Yeah?" Jac asked.
"Yeah just," her voice was so small and tender now, "can you. help. again..."
"Of course." There was never another answer, not with you two.
As the sweatshirt came off, Jac wasn't reminded of dressing her baby sister anymore, but of her first time seeing her girlfriend naked, the nervousness you felt you shouldn't feel but still did, the urge to hide it.
The feeling doesn't go away when they're putting the dress on.
And then, before she can reckon with any of that, something breaks, or falls, or was thrown. Dad yells at mom over it, or mom yells at dad. It doesn't really matters. All that does is that she cares again, and Jac pulls her into her chest.
She's shaking and Jacklyn is holding her.
She's crying and they're lying down now.
She's clinging so tight to her big sister and Jacklyn is humming to her.
They're spooning and Ellie is asleep. The fight is long over.
Jac sits up a little, looking at her breathing softly now. She brushes the hair from her sister's face and looks down at the caterpillar Ellie was still holding on to.
Slowly as to not stir her sister, Jac got up and began to walk out. "I love you, Ellie."
Ellie was smiling when Jac closed the door. Taking a deep breath, she fell back onto the couch, opening a red bull. If Jac wanted Ellie to be able to sleep in the dress, someone would have to keep an eye out for her.
Jac leaned on her truck door in the cold December wind. She wanted to rush in there, she wanted to kill the man, but Ellie had wanted it to be quiet. So it would be quiet.
The door opened and Ellie came out with her bag. It was small, too small to carry her life away in, then or now, but Jac ran over to help her with it anyway. “Hi…” and “Hey.” were all the words between them before Jac took her coat off and put it around her sister's shoulders.
There was a buried laugh when Ellie saw her sister wearing a tank top in the snow, “A little,” tears broke the sentence in half, “underdressed, huh?”
“I wanted to impress you intimidate him, if I had to.” She answer, putting the bag behind her seat.
“Wait, um,” Ellie reached back to it, and got that old caterpillar from inside, “okay, uh. Okay.”
Jac put the car into drive, and drove her sister home.
Jac opened the door to the apartment. For as long as Ellie would need, it would be home.
“Thank you,” Ellie said, hugging her sister and shivering.
“Of course,” Jac replied, “You’re the most important thing to ever happen to me my little sister.” After, it would be an apartment again.
Jac went to the fridge, “Do you need, like, an ice pack or anything?”
“Food then?” Jac said. She wanted to stay at Ellie’s side, to assure her none of it was her fault, but she knew not to make a bigger deal of it than Ellie did. She had to provide safety before anything else.
“No it…” Ellie paused like she was afraid it was incriminating, “It’s pretty healed by now.”
“Yeah...” Ellie said, quiet and far off, before catching herself, “Yeah, I’d appreciate that.”
Jac returned Ellie’s weak smile and got to work on eggs. Something familiar and warm, something that said the start of things and I know you. It felt good to hold the next step firmly in her hands. Salt, pepper, garlic, Jac lived on bachelor meals but now imagined working on that. She’d used to put that effort in. When they were both children Ellie had stamped her foot and said she didn’t wanna play house she didn’t want to be-
Jac popped the toast up before it burned. “That’s alright,” she had said. She plated the food and turned off the stove. “I can be the daddy.” She held the plate out to her sister, who was wrapped in a blanket up to her nose. After a second Ellie nodded and wriggled so the blanket pooled around her waist and received the plate.
“Sorry. Thank you.” Scraping up small bites, unsure what her stomach will hold.
“You deserved so much better. Of course.” Sitting with her.
“I love you. It’s good.” She started taking larger bites. Jac smiled.
“I love you too. Thanks.”
“...”
“...”
Step by step. Taking the plate. Dumping the crumbs. Making space in the sink. Making time to clean (not tonight). Coming back over. Ellie was curled up on the couch and hadn’t bothered to put the blanket back on herself.
“I just feel so stupid, I…” Ellie began, as her sister rubbed her shoulder.
Jac sat in the spot next to her and wrapped the blanket around them, leaning Ellie onto her shoulder as she did.
“It’s my not your fault.” Jac reminded her.
“I just-I just needed a way out of mom and dad’s and…” Ellie leaned further into her sister, who adjusted, pulling Ellie into her chest.
“I’m so sorry, Ellie,” Jac said, “I should have been the one you were with you.”
“You were in college.” Ellie mumbles into Jac’s shirt.
“I should could have dropped out and moved somewhere stayed off campus,” Jac says, “I could have taken you with me.”
Ellie didn’t respond for a long while. Long enough to slump down into Jac’s lap. It could have been unclear what she was responding to, but it wasn’t, not to either of them.
“It would have been nice.”
“Yeah,” Jac says, before moving on, “We should both get some rest.”
“Yeah…” Ellie said, dragging it out. Her sister stood up when the word ended.
“You can break in the couch some other time,” Jac said, looking back as she began to walk towards her room, “I mean, if you want to share the bed tonight, considering…”
Ellie didn’t answer, just getting up with the blanket and the one stuffed animal she had left and following her sister. It felt like when they were little. It was showing a girl your room for the first time. Jac was glad one too many hookups had complained about the floor mattress. Still, the room was bare, decorated mostly by Jac’s clothes on the floor (well, mostly her clothes).
Ellie found her voice along with her spot on the bed. “I thought you didn’t like stuffed animals,” she said as she picked up a plush moth.
“Oh, that’s uh. That’s actually your christmas gift.” Jac explained, a little embarrassed.
“In your bed?” Ellie asked.
“I wanted you to want it to be like old times,” Jac said quietly. Nervously?
“Handmedowns.” Ellie replied. The smile that came with the word was still weak, but it felt more real.
“Yeah. You can take it now. Not like it’d be a surprise anyways.” Jac offered.
Ellie put it up to her face and rolled over, facing away from her towards the window.
Jac put the blanket over her sister and got out of her jeans. She normally slept topless but the tanktop would do tonight. It was cold tonight, anyways. As she settled in, her sister looked back at her. All she said was “um” but Jac wrapped her arms around her before she had to figure out how to ask.
“Are you sure?”
“Always. This seems a bit bigger than our parents fighting.”
Ellie nodded and turned around, holding the stuffed animals to her chest as Jac held her to her own.
“I trusted him…” That small voice was back.
“I know...” Jac answered, breathily drawing out the last sound, her hands going up and down her sister’s back.
Ellie let Jac’s hands and breath guide her own breathing slower, sinking further into her sister’s chest.
“I just thought…” Ellie turned her head to the side to let the words out, “I wanted things to be better.”
“Oh honey…” Jac squeezed her little sister and pulled her into her, “Come here.”
“Wait, um, Jac-” Ellie sounded panicked.
Jac felt something against her thigh, but concern for her sister outpaced her processing. She’d made some mistake, her sister needed space, and she pushed herself back hard to give it to her. When they turned to each other’s faces, Jac’s was pale from fear and Ellie’s was flushed. Suddenly, Jac knew what had happened. Ellie realized she knew. The light of a passing car came through the window. Ellie’s face became the pale and Jac’s the flushed.
Jac didn’t know if Ellie was banishing herself to the couch or expecting to walk out into the snow. Either way, Jac wouldn’t watch her sister punish herself, and grabbed her wrist.
“Jac, I’m so sorry I-it’s-my body is so confused after-- I’m so sorry.” Ellie started to get off the bed. Crying would be selfish.
“Jac…” Ellie pleaded. She didn’t want to drag it out.
“Ellie,” Jac searched for anything that would make this easier, “Bodies-they just do these things. It’s natural.”
“You don’t understand.” Ellie said. She couldn’t hold back the tears much longer. Soon she’d be manipulative on top of everything else.
“Please, help me understand,” Jac said, letting go of her wrist, “I can’t be another way you hurt yourself just want to help you.”
Ellie heard the desperation in her sister’s voice and sat next to her, but no words came.
Jac laid a hand next to her sister’s thigh. Ellie placed hers next to it.
“Is it- does it have to do with him?”
“Yes? Not just… No. Not really.” The words were hard, she could barely get them out.
The words were hard, and Jac was proud of her sister, getting them out in yeses and nos, “Is it,” Jac can’t think of any question but the obvious one, “Something you wanna talk about?”
Ellie shook her head no.
“Does it have to do with me? Do you still want to share the bed?” Jac didn’t want to think about how pretty Ellie still looked. She did.
Ellie didn’t want to answer. She didn’t want to keep Jac waiting. She wanted to know she hadn’t ruined them. She nodded.
Ellie laid on her side and looked out the window. Jac took a few moments to think, and found it a bad idea. She turned towards the bed. The light of a streetlamp hit where Ellie’s silver blue hair spilled over the edge of the bed. As Jac laid back she knew sleep wouldn’t come easy.
The picture of Ellie, flushed and hot before all the blood drained from her face. The sight of her turned away, silver hair gleaming like the moon under the streetlight. Others, too. The memory of the first time Ellie visited her in college, giddy and girlish in a yellow dress she’d never worn so fearlessly and her big sister’s lucky baseball cap. Jac had just wanted to show her off, to have her darling little sister hang off her arm. Jac pushed that thought away but just came back to the image of Ellie’s… Arousal. She completed the thought. Arousal. She felt uncomfortable, but not with Ellie. She tried to remind herself why.
She was her sister. The one who’d taken care of Ellie as long as she could remember. She’d taught Ellie what a game is and how to play, pattycake and holding an snes controller, her times table and how to ask out a girl, how to tie her shoelaces and put on a bra. Food, fun, help with homework, a sense of safety, anything their parents didn’t provide, Jacklyn would for her baby sister. Tonight, she’d told her sister that bodies doing these things is natural. Ten years ago their parents refused to sign the slip for Ellie to get sex ed.
Jacklyn remembered her little sister, the one with the crush on a tomboy in the grade above, “C’mon, just say the words. If you say them to me it won’t be so scary for you to say them to Sarah Jerris.” She’d said.
And then Jacklyn had gone away. And Ellie had to turn to some man she barely knew. People share homes with lovers, people with jobs, and family. Jac knew that, and that you can only become one of them easy and in a hurry. Guilt swirled in the eldest daughter’s stomach. She turned to her other side, towards Ellie. She’d always been so pretty.
“Can I still hold you? Goodnight.” Jac whispered to her sister.
“Yeah…” Ellie’s voice wavered, brow furrowing under the weight of not deserving the affection she accepts.
Jac’s arms reached under and over Ellie. Sometimes she worried about her sister's weight, she looked so fragile. Tomorrow she would cook Ellie breakfast. Tonight, she felt her slight curves. She pulled her into an embrace they both knew well.
“Ellie?” Jac asked.
Her sister stirred. Jac felt every movement.
“Was it because of me? We’ll figure things out in the morning, okay?”
“Jac, I….” Ellie’s voice trailed off. She couldn’t say no. She wouldn’t say yes.
“I think I want you too. Ellie, I will always love you, you know that, right?” She just wanted Ellie to not hurt.
“Even if-” Ellie’s question was cut off by a nervous gulp.
“Even if.” Jac answered simply.
“......yes.” Ellie said, reminding herself that Jac wouldn’t trick her or trap her.
“Can I touch you? It’s okay, that doesn’t change anything.” Jac whispered in her sister’s ear.
Ellie’s words were gone. She nodded after a pause, biting her lip. Her breathing quickened with her sister’s hands sliding across her torso.
Jac felt herself growing bolder and one hand wrapped around her sister’s tit while the other started to dip down, “Are you still hard? I’m sorry this is wrong this was a mistake I’ll never do it again we have to stop.”
Ellie forced one whiny, desperate word out her throat, changing everything:
“Please.”
Jac’s hands began to undress Ellie, nothing like how she’d done that before, desperate and expertly and half done. They’d learned to hold and be held long ago, and when the hand on Ellie’s chest squeezed and pulled her in, they fit together so well that it only made sense that Jac’s hand wrapped perfectly around her sister’s erection too, eliciting a wordless whine that left Jac determined to hear more.
“He was so mean to me, Jac…” Ellie said at last, leaning into her sister’s touch, “I tried so hard to make him happy and he was so mean.”
Jac began to loosen her grip on her sister, but Ellie placed a hand on her wrist. Understanding, Jac moved her free hand from Ellie’s chest to her shoulder and resumed her gentle strokes, “I know, honey, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry…” Ellie said, wiping the corner of her eyes. She was asking Jac to be her lover and her sister.
Jac didn’t need an apology. “You deserved so much better.”
Ellie's eyes grew watery, grinding rhythmlessly into her sister, “I love you.”
Jac held her close, “I love you too.”
“I missed you…” Ellie said, “Even before him, mom and dad… It was so hard.”
There was a shakiness under Jac’s breath she had to get under control, “Ohh, Ellie. I’m so sorry. I’m here now. Just let me take care of everything.”
The tightening of the hand on her shoulder let Ellie know her sister meant everything. She wanted so badly to be good, and held her hips as still as she could, motion spilling out as wiggles to the left and right.
“I’m sorry you ever had to go anywhere else.” Jac said, her voice low but abandoning the whisper.
“Jaaaac…” Ellie shuddered in response, grip on her sister's forearm tightening, “Jac, I…”
Jac trailed kisses from her sister’s shoulder to her salty cheek, “Yes, Ellie?”
Ellie was curling into a ball before she could answer, cumming on her sister's hand, straining her throat to quietly say “love you”.
Ellie then turned up to her lover’s satisfied grin with wet eyes and began pleading, “Please don’t stop, I can go twice. I need you, Jac. I need you more. Just for the niighhhhttt…”
Jac interrupted by rolling a finger along her glans, then wiped hair from Ellie’s face to stare deeply into her eyes, “Ellie,” She said, “Why would I ever stop?”
Ellie didn’t have an answer, didn't know to begin to voice her anxieties, so Jac continued, “Ellie, I’m lucky to have you. I always have been.”
And God, she was. Her hand lowered back to her sister’s chest, squeezing down, finally letting her own hunger take the lead, “I missed you, Ellie. Every night you didn’t ask to sleep in my room, every night since, I missed my little sister.”
The words made Ellie’s mind feel all soft and safe and cared for. She’d missed it too, knowing she belonged in her sister’s bed, just as much as the friendly old caterpillar a foot in front of her belonged in her own. Despite everything, she felt like giggling, but the hand on her chest left her breathless, pulling her into the present until, trembling, she found her voice again.
“Kiss me?” she asked in a small voice, almost preemptively upset, like she was afraid she was asking too much.
Jac grabbed her baby sis and turned her around, taking her face in both hands, sliding her knee between her sister’s thighs as she kissed her hard, lips finding each other like returning home. It was Ellie’s turn to wrap her arms around her sister, elbows around her shoulders. She remembered piggyback rides, and wondered if her sister could still carry her. She kissed Jac back with a naked need.
One hand still cupped Ellie’s face, while the other roamed Ellie’s body. The guilt that came with the pleasure was fading underneath of how right it all felt. Ellie whined into Jac’s mouth, overwhelmed by Jac rocking her knee along her crotch. Jac pulled back from the kiss eliciting “Jacklyyyn…” from her sister, sounding like when they were kids and Jac wouldn’t let her win at a game. Jac let her whine a moment, resting her hand on her waist, admiring the way the indent pulled at Ellie’s navel, just a little. This was real. This was happening. Here, now, in this bed.. She kissed Ellie again with want.
Ellie balled her fists into Jac’s tank top, while Jac’s hand finally slid down to her ass, pulling her into the rocking motion. The corner of Jac’s mouth escaped the kiss as she felt the side to side motion in Ellie’s hips, she’d always been prone to fidgeting, nervous or overwhelmed or seeking stimulation. Her hand glided back up her sister, resting in her hair. God, she was so glad Ellie could grow her hair out.
Ellie pulled back like she was surfacing for air. Jac started to pull her back into the kiss but Ellie shook her head. Jac moved her hand off Ellie’s neck, while Ellie pulled an arm out from under Jac's neck. Their hands met and held, and Ellie rode Jac’s thigh faster, murmuring and mewling out “thank you thank you Jacklyn thank you thank you…” Jac responded by squeezing her sister's hand, providing her stability as she orgasmed.
All the tension began to leave her body, then her sister's. They both slumped forward, slowly, catching their breath. The space on the pillow between them dipped, pulling them together like gravity. Their noses touched. Jac moved her hands to hold her, one arm running up and down her back, easing her into post orgasm sleepiness. The gap between them finally closed as their foreheads rested against one another.
“Goodnight, Ellie.” Jac said, her arms tight around her sister.
“Nightnight Jac…” Ellie replied. She gave a slight attempt to move and get a stuffie, but her big sister’s arms were so heavy across her now. That was okay. Ellie was soft and safe and happy enough already, right where she was supposed to be.
The opening of her door made Jacklyn flinch, the screaming match down the hall carried in like a winter wind.
"Oh, hey." She said, trying to play it cool when she saw her little sister, Ellie, carrying as many stuffed animals and blankets as she could.
"Hey, um," Ellie said in a too-quiet voice, even for the fact that it was a bit past her bedtime, "Can I sleep in your room tonight??"
The part of Jacklyn's brain that had decided she was too old for stuffed animals felt strange about having a sleepover, but...
She looked over her sister again, seeing her hair, tangled from tossing and turning and hiding beneath her pillows, then the stuffed animals, each one a hand-me-down from Jacklyn. By the time her eyes reached the trailing blankets, she'd softened. One night couldn't hurt, and her little sister needed this.
"Of course."
Ellie started to make a little bed on the floor from what she'd brought, but turned when Jacklyn patted the bed a few times, already finished making room, "Up here, dork."
"Really??" Ellie asked. Once upon a time, she'd slept in mom and dad's bed when she was scared, but that stopped feeling like a safe place a long time ago. She didn't know she'd have a chance to feel that kind of safety again, so Ellie could handle a little name calling.
"Don't make a thing about it," Jacklyn said. If she got in trouble over this, she at least wanted it to have been worth it for Ellie. She took one of the excess blankets and laid it at the bottom of the door, muffling the argument.
"Do you want any of them??" Ellie asked, gesturing to the stuffies she'd piled on the bed.
Jacklyn shook her head and settled herself into bed briskly. "G'night, sis." Another shout made it's way under the blanket and to the two of them, bringing with it regret at her impatient attempt to make this all normal. She took her little sister's hand and stared at the ceiling.
Ellie was next to her, curled up around an old stuffed caterpillar that had been in the house as long as Jacklyn could remember. Ellie seemed to have fallen asleep quickly enough but still twitched at the muffled sounds of the argument.
Jacklyn turned over, looking at her sister. She brushed some hair out of her face. She let her head drift closer, feeling the warmth of the shared pillow. She smiled at the realization that with everything she'd brought, her sister hadn't bothered with another pillow. Glancing at the plush zoo visiting her bed, she remembered how she felt about the arguments keeping her up at this age. She wondered what growing numb to it had cost her, why she was scared of Ellie turning out the same way.
Their foreheads were nearly touching when a plate crashed into a wall. Ellie shot awake, lurching forward into her sister's chest.
"Hey, hey, I've got you." Jacklyn said, running her hands through her shuddering sister's hair until she'd started to breath more calmly.
Moments of seeming calm passed.
Jacklyn took the chance to breath deep, to show how stable she felt, how safe Ellie could feel.
"Sis??" Ellie spoke, unsteadiness in her voice breaking the illusion.
"Yeah??"
"Why don't you want your stuffies anymore??"
Jacklyn thought. She'd usually say she stopped wanting them because they were for babies, but she didn't want Ellie to feel ashamed for loving them. She realized she was terrified of that. She dug deeper and gave her sister what she found. "You needed them more," But there was still something underneath, "You needed me to be grown up." The grown up.
Ellie frowned, "But you-"
"It's fine," Jacklyn tried to say, her own voice picking up, matching the rhythm of the argument outside the door--
"You weren't asleep." Ellie bluntly interjected, "When the plate woke me up, you weren't asleep."
Jacklyn didn't have a response.
Ellie turned her back to Jacklyn, then scooted back into her.
"If you won't take your stuffie, at least hold me." She said.
Jacklyn didn't know how she'd lost the argument. Maybe she didn't want to win. She shimmied an arm under her sister's neck and laid another over her waist, and trying not to get self-conscious, held her sister tight. Mom and dad would tire each other out soon enough. In the meantime, Jacklyn felt safe. She felt safe, and she hummed to her little sister, clinging to her own stuffie.
Finally uploaded the first chapter of A Few Bad Decisions!! It's about a camp counselor who can't bear to let an abused kid go home, and so kidnaps him. It's not porn like this blog, it's a bare cry for a better childhood. Check it out I love you bye
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
My therapist says I should journal more, and because I hate writing by hand, here I am again. This will likely wind up being a combination of feelings, music, and aesthetics. I'll try to keep the hashtags organized so I can find everything easily.
