Bleh
So, I don’t really have anywhere else to talk about this and I thought I might as well get it off my chest. I would do the keep reading thing but I am on my phone.
I’ve just about finished Uni and I’m at that stage where I don’t know what to do with myself, I earn some money doing commissions and finding a job in the industry I studied for is taking longer than I’d like.
I have no friends that live near me, so I rarely get out of the house and the person I considered my best friends has completely broken my heart and betrayed me. If I didn’t talk to them first I would never hear from them and they literally don’t do anything for anyone else unless they get something from it as well (as you can see I’m trying to be as anonymous as possible)
Since I do a lot of designing every day to earn some money, I don’t feel as creative I haven’t drawn or written for myself since I started commissions. I do like doing the commissions don’t get me wrong, I just haven’t done anything for me because I just don’t have any motivation for it.
I feel like the most important thing for me right now is money and it sucks… cause I have nothing that I’m emotionally connected to, I did have my friend when we laughed and joked. But now he is gone life just feels a bit dull, not saying he was the be all and end all, it’s just made me realize how much I was doing for him and getting nothing in return.
I just wonder that if I get a job, will I feel better… part of me feels like it won’t. I feel like now I don’t have Uni to go to… my life is kind of over… I don’t really have anything.