#cp'14

[cyruspavel]

with ourselves..

When I say that we should be happy with ourselves, I don't necessarily mean that we should go to the movies and museums alone. Of course I am an advocate for being with yourself, but being happy with ourselves is the only way to lose insecurity in a relationship with someone else. The reason being is that you no longer find the need to be with someone in order to be happy, since you are already happy. Make sense? 

If we fail to grow into, or become being happy with ourselves, it is then that we feel that we are missing something. That something later translates to love because it is when we are in love that we receive the most compliments on a consistent basis from someone other than ourselves. I'm not saying that isn't a beautiful thing to have in your life because it is. What I am saying is that with our without that you should be happy every single day with yourself. Now, I'm not talking about your career, or material desires, no. I am talking about you. That little voice that you have on the inside of your head all day. The one that speaks out before you open your mouth. The one that impersonates other voices when you are being silly. That is the voice that should call you a rockstar everyday. That is the voice you need to be happy. 

I was telling a friend last night that she needed to meditate, and I gave her an easy form of it that made it a breeze for me to do:

When you are home or at your office and the environment is noisy as all hell, you know: ambulance sirens outside, coworkers chatting about last night's episode of Sons of Anarchy, your spotify playing that Rich Homie's Walk Thru, and that voice in your head reciting 80 different things that need to get done, just close your eyes and focus on one sound. Whatever that sound is it should be consistent and in the mix of all the others. Focus on it through your breathing until the sound drowns out all of the others around it. Once you drown out the other sounds you will have to keep practicing it because it will kind of surprise you that you could do that. Think of it like being able to mute all the other sounds in a TV commercial except for one. Anyway, once you are able to drown out noises, then you will be able to meditate and quiet the recital of voices in your head at will. 

Cyrus Pavel

[cyruspavel]

Unexpected.

If I tell you not to touch the fire, you run off to grab the flame. 

When I tell you not to go down the path to the right, you pretend that you don't even see the path on the left. 

I have told you not to go swimming in those murky waters only to see you skinny dip next to sharks. 

If I tell you not to look down, I'm the one that has to end up picking you up from the tightrope. 

When I tell you to close your eyes, you put on your glasses to see. 

I am done telling you what you already know, so why not tell you what you never expect to hear. 

cp'14

[cyruspavel]

Nine Ele...vate.

Getting shot at sitting next to my friend and then watching him die changed my life. Before that, my father's death changed my life. After that, baseball changed my life. Then, right before I got into High School another one of my great friends in life passed away, and that changed my life. 

Visiting El Salvador when I was young changed my life. Seeing machine guns on regular people changed my life. Watching the riots in LA on television changed my life. 9/11 changed my life. 

The lesson I learned from all of these things is that they helped to shape who I am today, but they will never help to define me. They don't bother me today, I barely think of them unless one of you brings them up, and yes, I do remember, but what is the point of making today sad when I already woke up happy to be breathing another day?

CP'14

[cyruspavel]

Le Gitan

Waiting for text messages makes you anxious? Well, I never wait, so I guess that right there is the solution. 

Never wait on anyone else. Never expect anything from anyone else. Always move ahead with the plans you have for yourself, whether someone new comes into your life or not. Sure, you should make time for someone new that comes into your life that you really like, but you should not disown the plans you have already made, or the routines you have already planned for yourself. 

If you give your Sundays to your friends, or your family, or God, or all three, or a combination of two, then keep that as if nothing ever happened. Don't compromise who you are and what makes you for someone else. Yes, you have to balance your time out, but never at the cost of unbalancing your own self. Get it? 

They say that worrying doesn't stop the bad things from happening and instead it just keeps you from enjoying the good. Well, how can you enjoy the good things that you make happen in your life when you replace it with the unknown? Of course we love the unknown, but again, never unbalance yourself to compromise on time. Especially because you know that I don't believe time is real. 

I have the way I like to live. I know what is best for me. If I miss your energy then I will request some of your "time" so that we can spend it together, but other than that, I like my world to be as carefree as possible. I guess I am a hippie that way—a gypsy, per se. 

CP'14

[cyruspavel]

To Teach?

In the process of learning I have failed to realize that teaching, or trying to teach others is also how masters become masters. It is how they learn even more, and further because of how different we all are. 

I sometimes get stuck in my own mind not feeling ready for the task of teaching others. I want to learn every single thing that I can before I can teach, but sometimes we don't get to see just how much we already know. 

I have to start teaching, and who better to teach things to than my own blood? 

I guess what I have to do is known to me, now I just have to act. 

I am blessed with beautiful minds all around me. Now I need to bless them with beautiful minds too. 

Cyrus Pavel

[cyruspavel]

Your Friend.

When you are mad at him, you sleep with me. 

When you realize that he isn't every single thing that you imagined him to be, you call upon me to come and save you. You call upon me to come and remind you of what a beautiful mind is like. To remind you of what imagination feels like, and what creativity and art emanates from its soul. 

You call me your friend, but whenever you feel down about love you look to me to save you. 

You call me your friend, but whenever he makes you sad, you turn to me to make you happy. 

You call me your friend, but whenever he doesn't appreciate you, you look for me to make you feel wanted again. 

You call me your friend, but you only lie to yourself because friends like me don't exist. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

[cyruspavel]

The Truest Colors

I was taught to take good care of the things that we love the most and want us to last us a long time. I was taught to carefully wash my hats with a soft cotton rag, some cold water, and a little bit of soap so that the hat wouldn't lose its form, but also so that it could always look clean and crisp.

I was taught that sneaker laces can be washed, or easily replaced. I was taught that rubbing alcohol should not be used on certain materials because it causes them to turn yellow over time, and that hot water can simply make other colors fade right away. 

I was taught that your bathtub should always be white, and that if the track on its floor is black, then it is dirty, which means that there is room for it to be cleaned, contrary to popular belief. 

I was taught that sweaters should be folded and never hung, and that people that don't squeeze toothpaste tubes from the bottom up are lazy in almost every aspect of life; lazy readers, lazy thinkers and illogical minds. 

It is because of these things that I always figured that you should take good care of the people that you love, too. Because if you take good care of them then they would last in your life for a long time, and maybe until forever..

I thought my ability to provide you stability, Was what was really G--okay, silly me. —Fabolous, "Pachangas"

Over time I have learned that how good we treat someone should have zero to do with us wanting to keep them forever because that is not up to us. How long someone stays with us is less about us and more about them. 

'I really hate when you say that you know me because who I was yesterday is not who I am today, and who I am today, is not who I will be tomorrow.'

Now does what I am saying make sense? about the people that choose to stay in our lives, or choosing to leave them having nothing to do with us, and everything to do with them? 

Treat the things you want to keep in your life for a long time good because you care. Take good care of them because that is who you have always been, and then they can never see anything else but the truth from you when they want to dig deep. You will never disappoint them for as long as they stay in your circle because what they are seeing are your very truest colors. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014

[cyruspavel]

I Like A Girl...

I like girls that don't care to get their hair wet. Girls that could care less if the top of the car is down as their hair blows everywhere. I like girls that like to climb rocks with me and explore different worlds together. I don't like girls that go to a different part of this same planet to do the same exact shit they would do at home. Girls that tan, drink frosty beverages by the pool and are more concerned with the evenness of their tans than they are with actually living. 

I like girls that want to do different things for their birthdays instead of the same ole dinners and club nights. I like girls that look at weddings like a waste of money, instead of the fairy tale setting that could end up meaning nothing. You don't have to agree with me, this is my blog. 

I like girls that can wake up and not shower and not wear any make up for a day, and they can let their hair down or bunch it up because it's more about being comfortable in "their own skin", than looking pretty for a bunch of other catty bitches and desperate mongrels. 

I like a girl that has zero inhibitions about where a kiss can be given, at any time, at any place. A girl that will accept a kiss in church, or in front of her friends and family. A girl that loves kisses no matter how many strangers are staring. I like a girl that won't always wait for me to ask or give her a kiss, and instead will ask and give me her kisses whenever she feels like it too. 

I like a girl that can laugh at herself and along with me when I laugh at myself. A girl that can tell me that her ex made her feel sad and hurt, not because she still wants anything to do with him, but simply because she has a heart. I love that type of honesty. The kind that will tell me that she misses her ex one day, not because she wants to be with him ever again, but because that is how life is, and that is how we as humans are built; thinking anything else and any other way about life is pure psychosis or delusion. We all miss those people in our lives that have impacted our lives in some way, some of us are just better at forgetting sooner than others, that's all. 

I like a girl that can admire the road too as we drive for hours and not have to say a word. Not that I like a girl that can shut the fuck up because I love a girl that can talk to me about her day and her life as I listen quietly, but just a girl that can sit there with me and know that she is on my mind as I admire the beauty of the world, and as she is right there next to me. 

I like a girl that won't move when I lay my head on her chest to listen to her heart beating. I like a girl that won't flinch when I lower my head to kiss her ass softly with my lips. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't really like any of you bitches. Present company excepted. 

Cyrus Pavel. 2014