#crashreigns

[heelhausen]

Nobody look at me this is the corniest thing I’m gonna post all year

Anyways. This started a few months back but now I’m using it as my one mermay piece for the year lol. Merman Roman x Selkie Crash ft a very cranky Paul Heycrab who is sick of this hooligan bothering the Chief of the Seas

[heelhausen]

The crash girlie timeline reacts to Crash’s title shot against universal champion Roman Reigns on smackdown

[heelhausen]

Ok fuck it we ball. I need to go to bed but I’m posting the in progress drabble yeehaw.

There’s three quick raps on the bus door. When no answer meets them, the handle is tried. When it doesn’t budge, Roman hears the sound of shuffling and scratching for a few seconds. A telltale *click* rings loudly against the silence. The door swings open, and Roman doesn’t have to look to know who just barged in on him.

“The door was locked for a reason, Crash.” He calls, unable to stop his voice from cracking.

He buries his face in the pillow and hopes the fabric will be dark enough for Crash not to notice the wet spots his tears have left on the case.

Something cold is pressed to the back of Roman’s neck, making him jump a little and roll over so he can angrily squint up at Crash. There’s a water bottle being shoved in his face.

“Drink.” Crash instructs firmly.

What can Roman do but obey?

He sits up. He takes the bottle in shaking hands. He sips his water and watches Crash putter about the tour bus. It’s convenient that Roman’s favorite “pouting spot” (as Crash once put it) is in the kitchenette area— it gives him a prime position to watch Crash roll up his sleeves and start pulling out supplies from the cabinets.

The first thing he goes for is a small towel, which he runs under cold water to dampen before ringing out the excess. He returns to Roman with the towel in hand.

“Scoot.” Crash murmurs, nudging Roman’s legs out of the way so he can sit on the edge of the bench.

“C’mere. Just breathe.”

Crash cups Roman’s jaw with his left hand and carefully wipes at his face with the damp towel. He goes slow and steady, dabbing away the tears and easing the heat in Roman’s cheeks. God, he hadn’t realized how red his face must look. His eyes feel impossibly puffy.

“Good boy.” Crash tells him.

“Shouldn’t you be out there celebrating my downfall with everyone else?” Roman asks.

“Tomorrow night, they’re going to be chanting ‘Thank you, Roman’ loud enough that the arena will quake.” Crash replies. “Tomorrow night, you’re going to be well-rested enough to appreciate when they do it.”

“I lost, Crash.”

“So did Gunther. That doesn’t eliminate the six hundred and sixty six days that he held the IC Title for. You carried that belt for four years, Ro. It’s time you get the chance to lay down your burden and rest.”

Roman wants to argue. The best statement he can manage falls flat even as he says it. “I hit Seth with a steel chair.”

Crash shrugs. “You can apologize tomorrow.”

“He hit me first. Ten years ago. He hit me first. You told me I had to let it go. But I couldn’t let it go. And it cost me the match.”

“Yeah, dude, that happens sometimes. You gonna mope about it all night, or are you gonna let me help you wash up and untangle the mess in your hair?”

Roman stares at him. What else can he do?

[heelhausen]

Crash once again causes a ruckus

[heelhausen]

Whenever Roman does the little “hand me the mic” gesture while Crash is talking, Crash just looks at him and is like. Man get your Karen ass in order and wait your turn I ain’t done talking at you yet. Pay attention fucknuts im giving you information that will be on the test.

[heelhausen]

Ok not to fag it up on wrestlemain again but Roman doing his little hairscritching thing where he’s stroking his own hair. I’m headcanoning that as self soothing motion that he picked up from when crash stroking his hair when they’re curled up together 🥺

[heelhausen]

Crash obtains some merchandise

[heelhausen]

When Crash joined the bloodline he made Roman play Overwatch with him and it turns out Romans actually pretty good at the game.

The only problem is that Roman one tricks Mercy, and he’s kind of embarrassed about it. But he’s also a really fucking good Mercy player and keeps pissing off the enemy teams bc they cannot kill him when he superjumps around the map and keeps whipping out his pistol to vibe check unsuspecting genjis.

Crash mains Hanzo/Cassidy/Ashe and people keep screaming at them in chat when they queue together because Roman will hard pocket Crash and they will stomp poor unsuspecting enemy teams who just wanted to have a fun game