redo of an old piece (v) for week 3 of @cr-aspec-fest (unconventional relationships). I'm just so normal about them & the inherent tenderness of mentorship
Verin laughs and stands up, his robe rustling against the sofa. “I’ll go get the bath going. And I won’t forget the chamomile oil.”
“Thanks, Verin,” Keyleth says. She turns back to her dresser and listens to the sound of Verin’s footsteps as he pads into the adjoining bathroom, something long-dormant in her heart stirring at the near-domesticity of it.
When she hears the water start to run, she lets out a long breath.
It’s… strange. Having feelings for someone again.
Centuries down the line, Keyleth finds herself in love for the second time in her life and realizes that maybe, just maybe, it's a leap of faith worth taking.
Hello my friends! Might I interest you in some Verleth, set in the same thyme time period as my Thymessek fics, and written for @cr-aspec-fest ? I've had a lot of fun writing this one! Delving into Keyleth's POV was a nice change of pace and I always enjoy exploring a new character. And Verin is always a treat XD I hope you enjoy! <3
Time for the final Week 4 (free week)! With the suggestion of wacky crossovers on the table, I decided to combine my favorite aroace cleric from c2 with my favorite aroace-coded rogue from Dimension 20's Fantasy High series. I just thought a conversation between Caduceus and Riz could be very sweet and/or absolutely hilarious. Since I'm just writing this on the fly, we'll see which direction it goes as it goes. Either way, this has been such a fun event, and I'm glad I got to participate each week!
Caduceus sets a steaming mug of tea down in front of the small teenage goblin boy in odd-looking clothing who sits at the Clay's otherwise quiet kitchen table. He sets his own cup of tea down before taking his usual seat catty-cornered (or caddy-cornered, in his case) to the goblin.
The goblin--who had eventually introduced himself as Riz once the initial panic and paranoia of suddenly finding himself in a different universe wore off--eyes the cup with obvious distrust. "What's in this exactly?"
"The Exeners," Caduceus replies in his usual low, mellow tone. "They help with soothing nerves, which I'm sure you have noticed in yourself what with this strange situation. I'm afraid I can't remember what you called it."
"A Time Quangle," Riz sighs with the weight of familiarity. "But wait, back up a second. You said this was the Exeners? Is that some sort of code for alcohol or...?"
Caduceus smiles. "No, I'm not fond of the stuff, and I've learned by now not to give it to teenagers. I much prefer the tea that the Wildmother provides for us here in the Grove, which is what is in both of our cups."
Riz leans over his cup and gives a tentative sniff of the aromatic steam rising from it. "You don't happen to have any coffee, do you? Depending on how long it's gonna take to solve this Quangle, I'm probably gonna need something to boost the ole noggin, especially if I need to overcome my less than stellar sleep last night."
"If you need to rest, some of my friends are staying here for a few days. One of them is a wizard who can create a tower with guest rooms, and he's more than used to catering his rooms for individuals of different sizes, if that is a concern at all. His best friend actually spent much of their time together as a goblin."
Riz tilts his head inquisitively. "And this friend is not... a goblin... anymore? How does that work?"
"I'm unsure of the exact magic, but I remember they broke a bathtub and needed quite a bit of clay." Caduceus' smile becomes even dreamier than usual at the memory of that fateful day.
"Interesting.... Well, I appreciate the offer, but I really need to just solve this Quangle and get back home. No time to rest, especially if I'm the only one who got Quangled into this world." Riz's ear perk up underneath his flat cap. "You said your friend is a wizard? His name wouldn't happen to be Aguefort, would it?"
Caduceus hums in thought. "The name doesn't sound familiar, though I know my friend takes on many aliases to serve his purposes."
"Old man?" Riz prompts. "Loves chronomancy and phoenixes?"
"Chronomancy, yes. Phoenixes, I'm unsure. I wouldn't call him old by any means, but I've been told I have a strange perception of time and aging before. As far as I know, he is of this universe, if that rules out anything."
Riz shakes his head. "Principal Aguefort can embed himself in any universe, it seems, and make it look completely natural. I'll probably only really know for sure if your friend is him or not once I see him."
Caduceus nods. "I can ask him to come in from his gardening outside, but I will warn you that his partner and the rest of our mutual friends here will want to join in an investigation of you, as an unexpected guest from another world."
Riz's face twitches at the mention of Caleb's "partner"; fortunately, Caduceus is insightful enough to both note the reaction and not mention it right away. "Sure, the more heads to help solve this Quangle, the better. Even if your wizard friend isn't Principal Aguefort, I'm sure he's smart. That is, if he's anything like my wizard friend."
Caduceus gives another nod and stands from his seat to walk over to the window overlooking the garden. "Mister Caleb?"
A shock of red hair covered by a wide-brimmed sun hat pops up from behind a tall row of tomato vines twined around metal stands. "Ja?" Caleb calls back. "What is it, Herr Clay?"
"Would you mind taking a break and coming into the kitchen? There's been a bit of an odd situation that might require your particular attention." Caduceus pauses for a moment, considering. "And you might as well call a team meeting while you're at it."
Caleb nods. "I will go grab Essek. Yasha and Beauregard may be harder to procure. I believe they had retreated to the tower for a bit of, ah, alone time."
Caduceus takes his leave from the window, silently grateful that he does not have to be the one to interrupt the married couple's "alone time." Riz is watching him as he returns to the kitchen table. Both cups of tea remain untouched so far, a fact that he deems to remedy after retaking his seat. He closes his eyes and smiles at the unsurprising pleasantness of the tea.
Riz pokes at his own cup, looking at it like Veth might look at some new alchemical mixture with yet-unknown properties. "So," he starts with all the faux casualness of a socially awkward teenager, "it sounds like people around here are 'hookin' up.'"
Caduceus hums. "I believe I recognize that phrase from one of my other friend's jokes, and if I am understanding you correctly, then yes, there are some couples visiting here today. I don't pretend to understand the specifics of their activities together since it's not something I'm personally interested in investing my time and energy into, but I know enough to respect their privacy around it."
Riz nods, slightly abashed. "Right, right, privacy. I respect that." There's a prolonged pause, then a spark of genuine curiosity. "But you said that you're not... interested in that... stuff?"
Caduceus smiles, just a little bit smug from his guess about Riz holding true to the insight he had glimpsed. "I've never found myself inclined towards seeking it out, no, and I've apparently been oblivious to offers before."
There's another pause before Riz blurts out, "I lied about dating someone once, and now I have a mirror demon thing named Baron that calls themself my 'romance partner' and keeps trying to take me away to see his 'stark father' in this place called the Baronies."
As much information as that is to take in, Caduceus sees the heart of the matter immediately. "Why did you feel the need to lie?"
It's like Riz's mask of constant suspicion and wariness has cracked wide open; he even cups his small hands around his cup of tea. "Because everyone kept talking about dating and sex and stuff! And I did talk with my dad about the whole thing when I saw him in like, heaven, I think? And he said he'd accept me no matter what. But he still... he also talked about coming out of this teenage 'phase' or whatever and eventually finding my mom and falling in love and all that."
"And you want to be like him," Caduceus deduces.
"I mean, yeah! He's the coolest spy angel goblin guy ever. My whole family is full of badasses."
Caduceus' smile widens. "Well then, it sounds like your worries about a... I believe you called it a 'mirror demon thing.' It sounds like you, as a member of your family of badasses, have it handled. I have all the faith in you."
Riz tilts his head. "But you just met me."
"Unlike the specific intimacies that many of my friends share, faith is something that comes easily to me."
"I kinda wish you could talk to my cleric friend. I feel like she'd gain a lot of what she's been missing from you."
Caduceus nods. "As I'm sure I'd gain some insight from her in return."
Riz snorts quietly. "If by 'insight,' you mean a ribbon-dancing lesson and a possible existential crisis, you'd be right." He finally takes a sip from his mug and makes a noise of pleased surprise that's so common from those sampling the Grove's tea for the first time. "This is pretty good. I'm not much of a tea guy myself, but if the day ever came where I didn't have to stay up until at least midnight trying to crack another case, I'd definitely drink more of this stuff."
"I'm sure the Exeners would appreciate the compliment."
Just then, the kitchen fills with the four members of the Mighty Nein who have decided to visit the Grove at this time. Caleb leads a disguised Essek, the couple standing intimately close even if there's no physical contact between them. Behind them, Beau and Yasha only appear slightly disheveled to Caduceus' perceptive eyes, but they're constantly nudging one another or seemingly finding any excuse to brush aside each other's hair.
Caleb and Essek take in the Grove's unexpected guest with silent wariness and matching analytical gazes. Beau, however, is never afraid to voice her thoughts to the world at large.
"Who the fuck is this guy?" she asks the room. "If Luc somehow managed to get himself killed and cursed by a hag, I think Veth would murder us all just as I got to start laughing my ass off at how much he's following the whole 'like mother, like son' thing."
"I do not think this is Luc," Essek says in a clipped tone.
"You're right," Beau agrees. "Luc would never be caught dead in whatever the fuck this outfit is."
Riz waves a hand in greeting, and Caleb is already shifting to start the somatics of a counterspell. "Hey, I'm right here," the goblin says in a voice that is decidedly not that of Luc Brenatto. "Name's Riz, and I'm in a bit of a Time Quangle. I get the feeling now that none of you know an Arthur Aguefort?"
Both Caleb and Essek's attitudes shift from suspicion to curiosity, and Caduceus stands up to go make all of them some more tea just as the other four members of the Nein launch into a light interrogation of the Grove's otherworldly guest. Most of the more technical words go in one fuzzy ear and out the other, which isn't unusual, but he does feel some satisfaction in holding an understanding of one element of Riz's situation that the others could not share in the same way. In fact, every so often, Riz glances over towards the cleric as if seeking reassurance, which Caduceus is all too happy to provide in the form of a warm smile and a still warmer refill of tea.
Wildmother willing, the collective minds of the Mighty Nein's brightest will solve this "Quangle" thing, get Riz home to his universe, and ensure that all parties end up benefiting from this strange situation. Caduceus has all the faith that things will turn out alright for the little goblin, even beyond this particular visit to Exandria. After all, the cleric would know better than most about the path Riz is set to traverse as he continues to grow and love alongside his family and friends.
In honour of #CRAspecFestWk2 I feel that this is the perfect time to Soft Launch the fact that I have been working on an Aeor Date Shadowgast fic for a little while... I wanted to have a lot more of it finished before I revealed it but fuck it lol, maybe this will motivate me to write!
I'm being a little Fancy with format lol, I've tentatively decided to present it as a kind of Found Manuscript, the manuscript in question being the research diary Essek kept during the trip, which starts out being strictly business with a few slips and deliberate ommissions, and slowly gets more and more personal until he's barely writing about the research at all and it's just fully a personal journal lol. It's a Getting Together fic so expect a lot of Longing as well as a bit of early relationship honeymoon phase
Anyway, in the interest of getting some Aspec Vibes out there this week, see below the cut to read some curated snippets from three scenes which may or may not be used in the final version, which I feel touch upon the Demisexual Experience to some extent:
Snippet 1: a pre-gettting-together musing on different 'speeds' of attraction:
I am not stupid. I do know that the feeling is mutual. Nor do I think he is stupid, and I am sure he knows as well. Similar as we are, I find him easy to read, although, different as we are, I suspect we came at it very differently. Like fire and ice, Cheszara said, and it does ring true: I am glacially slow to move, while Caleb’s feelings catch quickly and burn bright. I dare not wonder how much earlier he arrived upon it than I did. I’m afraid that, if I asked, he’d say, immediately. He has the capacity for it, in a way that I don’t. In the past year or so alone - according to Jester and Beau and my own eyes - that spark has kindled for half a dozen people (if you count the three of them who have taken turns in the same body). Of course, when I think of that, a quiet voice in the back of my head that still has a shred of humility (that voice is never very loud in wizards) asks how I can possibly hope, being one of so many options, to be the one he chooses. Perhaps in my slowness to bloom, the moment has passed, and someone else’s claim has taken precedence. The much louder voice of my ego (again, a wizards’ trait) takes an inventory and reassures me that I am probably the best option, or close to it.
That likely speaks more of his questionable taste than it does of my virtue.
But no, I am certainly not afraid that he does not feel the same, or that I would be a bad choice for him, but despite what some may think, that does not leave me with nothing to fear. He may feel more for someone else. He may feel against his will, and choose to reject those feelings. He may be advised away by others. He may find that the life he wants to live does not have room for everything he wants, and compromises must be made. His logical mind may make a different choice from what I will generously call his heart (generously to myself, anyway). The simple phenomenon of two people feeling similarly towards each other does not make everything else fall away; life is many-faceted, timing is important, and circumstances must align - choices, as I have learnt the hard way, must be made consciously and hollistically, with consideration for the ripple effect they will have. To want something does not always lead to choosing it.
I would choose it, of course. But I am only half the authority.
Snippet 2: a flashback featuring Marion, my favourite aspec headcanon, which is maybe only tangientally aspec and more about just Being Hot But Not Wanting A Lot Of Sex in general, but I wanted to include it bc I love it lol:
“It's ‘break',” Marion said.
“What?”
“The lyric,” she said, referring to the song I'd just finished. She was sitting next to me on the piano stool. “I break every lovely thing I touch. You said burn, instead of break. Why?”
“I misspoke,” I told her honestly.
“Why?” she did not let me escape her question so easily.
I shrugged evasively. “Common is not my first language.”
She was not fooled. “You don't have to tell me why,” she said. “Just ponder it yourself.”
“I don't need to ponder,” I allowed her a glimpse of the truth: “I know why.”
“Beauty,” she said, in a change of subject that seemed incongruous at the time, “is not always the blessing some people think it is, is it?”
“I don't know - you've built quite an empire with yours.”
She gave a perfectly charming laugh. “Oh, I like that - an empire of beauty! What an amusing turn of phrase. Well, perhaps - but don't pretend you have not learned to turn your own curse to your advantage. You would not look like you do if you had not.”
With a smile I reminded her that the face she was looking at was not my real face. She knew what my real face looked like, of course, but we were in public, so at this moment it was hidden behind an illusion.
“Exactly,” she said. “If you resented your pretty face so much, you'd take this opportunity to wear an ordinary one, to blend into a crowd - but you have chosen another just as beautiful as the original. If you did not wish to be beautiful, you need not wear all that finery, the jewellery, the shimmer, any of it. You could try to hide, but you don't.”
I did not know what to say. She narrowed her eyes perceptively.
“It is strange, isn't it? How frightening it is to walk through the world, minding your own business and yet affecting people regardless - breaking hearts and making waves you never intended to, simply because of how people react to something you carry with you always, something out of your control -” she leaned in and added in a conspiratorial stage whisper: “but isn't it even more awful to hide your face under a plain veil, and walk down the street without seeing a single child gaze up at you in awe as you go by?”
She had perfectly captured a feeling I had never even thought to put into words, the strange paradox of going through life as an object of desire to people you had no desire to captivate: the coexisting dread of catching someone looking at you with hunger, wondering if they’re calculating in their head how much resistance they'd be willing to push through, how much they'd be willing to risk to get their hands on you - alongside a habitual dependence upon being able to slide through any barrier with a well-timed smile and a well-chosen perfume. The endless longing for the world to ignore your exterior and see a value in you that is more than skin deep, and yet the impossibility of being able to untangle your own self-worth from the crutch of your looks. The strange addiction of beauty, of resenting it and all the unwanted side-effects it brings to you and the people around you, and yet being too intoxicated by the sight of your own face in the mirror to ever give it up. I held Marion's gaze, and in each other we saw someone who knew that depressingly shallow truth: beauty is power, and like any power, it is as dangerous as it is irresistible, and it most commonly falls to those who can do the least good with it.
I told her why I'd said burn instead of break, and she grinned as though I'd given her the most delightful gift. I know the feeling: it is far more enjoyable to watch the chequered romances of others than it is to be in the ring yourself.
Snippet 3: an open conversation about demisexuality, the most on-the-nose acknowledgement of it but also probably the least likely to make it into the final cut bc I think it's a little TOO on the nose as it currently is:
“Life certainly can be stranger than fiction,” I said with a smile. “I must admit that if someone had come back in time and told me on the day we first met that this is where we would be a year later, I might have struggled to believe them.”
“I certainly would not have,” Caleb agreed. “Not that I would have been surprised at my own feelings, of course, but surprised at my luck. I daresay you’d have been equally surprised on both counts. I don’t believe your eye was on me as mine was on you, on day one.”
“Don’t take it personally,” I said, not feeling inclined to lie, “but I’m afraid that’s not really how my brain works. I have never seen a stranger and felt that kind of attraction to them.”
“Really?” His tone was curious, but not particularly surprised or disbelieving.
“No. It’s not that I don’t care for appearances or…” I struggled for the word in common, “presence, at all - I can make aesthetic judgements, and once I am attracted to someone, I do find those things attractive, it’s simply that… well, for most people the attraction comes first, and then as you get to know the person you come to truly care for them - for me, the attraction tends to come last. If it comes at all, that is; it is not guaranteed, of course.”
“Seems convenient,” he said. “You’re never going to find yourself drawn into an impulsive entanglement you regret.”
“It feels less incongruous as I get older,” I allowed, “but you can imagine the animosity in my student days, when everyone wanted my… attention, and I would not give it. And don’t think I’ve never been attracted to someone I wished I wasn’t; to know someone intimately, to be close to someone, is not necessarily the same as liking and respecting them.”
“Very true.”
Thanks for reading if you did! This is only my second fic in uhhh over ten years lol, and only my second long(ish) form fic - I hope to post the first chapter this week, if I'm feeling brave!
comic affectionately titled 'stone butch beaus' (i am now too attached to the title to change it) (unfortunately this means pronouncing beaus like booze)
Anyway this is for @cr-aspec-fest week 2 (don't look at the date) - asexual spectrum! Because I was thinking about who in the Mighty Nein I could make something for and I was like, hm, well, obviously not Beau, she's way too horny- WAIT-?
