#crazymad

[gaylordepicboy]

AH as Dead by Daylight characters featuring team CrazyMad as the killers! 

[anntejinia]

Mogar’s feelin punchy...maybe a little too punchy.

[khyeili]

It’s like watching a bomb go off a hundred miles away, too far to hear the panic and the blast, but close enough to see everything come crashing down. Everything goes wrong. They're the only ones left to pick up the pieces.

[luv-u-ugly-blog]

Feels like its been a lifetime since we've spoken

Thinking about you all the time is exhausting. I wonder how tired you are. Do you still cry? I do. I also wear your jacket all over town, and every morning at 6am I take walks and scream the lyrics from my headphones that come blurring through my ipod. Have I gone crazy? Maybe. Or better yet, ive always been. Some days are great, some days I question my exsistance, I guess all I want is to see you happy. To know youve found something or someone amazing to give your life meaning. Thats all I ever wanted for you, meaning...determination, motivation. Sorry I couldn't offer it. I love you. Good night.

[tinypeckers]

Pay attention to me.

Pairing: CrazyMad (RyanxMichael)

Words: 1057

Warnings: Smut, Hand Jobs.

Summary: Michael is horny and he wants Ryan. Ryan? He just really wants to watch his show.

A/N: My contribution for losing VS last week. <3

Over at A03!

Michael could be a persistent little shit when he wanted to be. Like tonight, when all Ryan wanted to do was watch his favourite show and Michael seemed intent in dragging him off to bed. "You can watch it later, you've got it recorded." Michael whined from where he sat cross-legged on the couch, facing Ryan instead of the TV. Ryan sighed, not bothering to look away from the screen as he answered his boyfriend. "Yes, but if I don't watch it now you and I both know it'll get spoiled. If not at the office then online. I'd rather watch it now." Ryan insisted, squinting as he attempted to block out Michael's sigh of frustration. He simply really, really wanted to watch his show. "You can still watch it later." Michael whinged, poking Ryan's arm childlessly in an attempt to grab his attention. "You and I could have sex later." Ryan countered, smirking a little when Michael gasped as though he'd heard the worst news in the world. "Ryan!" He cried, causing Ryan to smirk even wider.

When Ryan didn't talk any further, instead still favouring the god damn TV over him, Michael decided to try something else. He stood up, purposefully walking past the TV and earning himself a playful swat to the ass for his troubles. Ryan rolled his eyes as he made a point to literally stomp off, each step making a loud thump. Michael lingered at the bottom of their stairs, waiting for Ryan to change his mind and turn off his show. When that didn't happen, Michael grumpily stormed up the stairs - taking extra care to be as loud as possible. Ryan sighed heavily at the sound, turning the volume of his show up to make a point. By this point he'd actually lost the plot of the show and it'd be smarter for him to rewind and start over, but Ryan would never give Michael the satsifaction of that. Besides, he could still enoy the small jokes even if he didn't quite know what was going on. When he heard the pitter patter of Michael's feet down the stairs, Ryan was ready for round two.

Or at least he thought he was, but when Michael appeared as naked as the day he was born Ryan had to fight the gasp that was worming it's way through him. Instead, he simply raised an eyebrow, one hand reaching out to push Michael aside. The redhaid threw his hands up in frustration, falling beside Ryan on the couch with a small thud. He wriggled until he was sprawled across it, head fitting so snugly on top of Ryan's thigh. Without thinking, the older man let one of his hands card through Michael's curls. Michael grinned. "Ryan, play with me." He drawled, one hand reaching up and batting at Ryan's cheek. The older man scowled, pushing it away. Michael sighed, noticing that Ryan had stopped skipping the commercials. That was usually a good sign. Unless he'd simply forgotten that the show was being recorded, but Michael assumed that wasn't likely since he'd only just reminded his boyfriend. "Ryan, you know you want to." Michael sang, fully enjoying himself now as he watched Ryan scowl. The man above him was figuring out the easiest way to shut Michael up.

It was his turn to surprise Michael by the time he'd finally figured it out, his free hand wrapping tightly around Michael's cock without warning. The younger man gasped below him, bucking up into the touch as Ryan teasingly moved his hand up and down in slow, torturous stokes. "Oh, yes. God yes, Ryan." Michael moaned, now thrusting without abandon into Ryan's hand. It was what he had wanted, of course. But Ryan was not happy with Michael's noise, his other hand moving from his hair to Michael's mouth where he roughly shoved two fingers in to silence Michael. Ryan was careful, he didn't want to choke Michael as that would cause more noise and would be ironic considering Ryan was trying to shut Michael up. The younger man whimpered at the intrusion, but he didn't try and fight Ryan. He was far too busy chasing his own arousal. Small beads of precum were falling from his now fully hard cock. Ryan's hand was still moving frustratingly slow.But he was so close, he could feel it.

So could Ryan and as soon as Michael's breath started to stutter, as soon as he arched his hips in preparation,Ryan stopped. He wrapped his fingers tight around the base of Michael's cock, promptly stopping him from cumming. Michael let out an anguished wail, angrily swatting at Ryan's arm and then desperately trying to pry his fingers from his cock and finish himself off. Ryan just laughed at his attempts. "Not until the break. This is what you get for interrupting my show, you little brat." Ryan said proudly, while Michael whined beneath him. He deserved it, after all. Eventually Michael stopped trying to pry Ryan from him, instead turning to look at the screen as much as he could in an attempt to distract himself. Normally when Michael watched shows the breaks were far too frequent and often there were more than there was actual show time. Right now, he couldn't wait for a break and it seemed as though the show Ryan was watching was not feeling generous.

Michael was desperate by the time the break rolled around, his pleasure slowly subsiding before Ryan finally started to jack him off again. This time Ryan was not slow nor gentle, it was fast and he had clear intentions. Michael bucked into his hand, his own hands clawing at Ryan's arms as he neared what he'd been aiming for all along. When Michael came Ryan watched, smiling as thin streaks covered Michael's stomach. Ryan's eyes roamed to Michael's slightly flushed face as he slowly came down from his high, catching his breath and hands falling onto his covered belly absent-mindedly. When they landed in his own cum, he frowned. Ryan laughed as he removed his fingers from Michael's mouth, drawing patterns in the cum on Michael's stomach to make an even bigger mess. "Hey, stop that!" Michael barely had the energy to swat at Ryan's hand and his normal, loud voice was raspy and quiet. "No, I told you. This is what you get, next time you should just wait." Ryan chuckled as Michael groaned.

[kittydiggitydog]

Omfg did Michael seriously make up a ship and name for him and ryan!? MY TWO FAVORITE AH MEMBERS!?? YES PLEASE THANK YOU OH FRIKKER

[crazymadx]

The Journey: Chapter 12#

"Sometimes, you apologise not because you are wrong, but because you value the relationship a lot." -  Unknown 

----

"Enter. " I heard my dad say. I value my relationship with my dad too much to just let it slip. I remember what my parents always used to say to me and Rico when we used to stop talking over a toy 'why don't we say sorry to each other? Don't give your brother away to the monsters Ivanna. And Rico, don't give your sister away to the monsters, instead give your toy away to the monster because your toy would never love you as much as your brother or sister loves you. Okay? '

I know I can't just give Luke away like that because my feelings are getting stronger by the minute, but maybe, just maybe, my dad will accept my apology and will meet Luke for my sake. Not because he has to, but because his daughter is asking him to do this for her!

My dad was doing some work on his desk, his pitch black hair messy as his glasses rest on top of them. His hands clutching onto a pen. Just by that state I could tell he was stressed.

"Hey dad. " I said in a meek voice. My dad looked up from his work.

"Ivanna I'm kind of busy at the moment, can it wait for another time? " He asks, going back to his work My dad has been avoiding me ever since, and so have I to be honest; how do you confront someone that has been avoiding you, because of something you truly want?

" Dad no it can't. " I said stamping my feet. As childish as that might have been, it got his attention. I went and sat on the seat next to him. " Dad, I can't stand you not talking to me. You may think that I'm making the worst decision, but dad you haven't even met him and that is not fair on my side. " I say. 

" It may not be fair Ivanna, but he has already made my judgement clear because he has not asked for my permission. "

" Dad, were in the 21st century, what boy actually goes to the girls father and asks for her hand. That only happens in marriage dad. " Which is true, who even does that nowa days?

"It doesn't matter whether it still happens in this century or not Ivanna, because you are well aware that your my baby, your my daughter and I will not allow any harm to come to you. And though I may not have met this guy you like, he doesn't respect me to at least come and meet me and introduce himself properly. " I sighed,

"Bu- " I got cut of by my dad, "And your brothers know him pretty well it seems, so how is it that he's got such a reputation, yet you still decide to be with him. And look at how many girls he has been with, and yet you have been with literally none! How can someone pure as yourself, lower your self to someone that doesn't deserve two glances, someone who has been everywhere and has washed their hands numerous amount of times? Ivanna, he is far from suitable, far from far. " My dad finishes and slams his hand on the desk, his eyes display so many emotions, betrayal, anger, mistrust, disbelief.

"Why can't you just give him a chance. Anyone can turn a new life dad, haven't Steven and Tye turned over a new leaf? " I asked.

"That is different Ivanna- " I interrupted him, briskly. " That is not different dad and you know it, they've been to the bad side and back dad, and you didn't give up on them. You gave them chances after chances after chances and you can't do the same for someone who I love? " I've come to terms with my feelings, I still haven't expressed them to Luke yet, but I know I love him, I just hope he doesn't freak out! 

"You most definitely do not love him Ivanna Dixon. " My dad spits, as if its contagious, and it stings, boy does it stings. Never has my dad been angry at me, I've mainly been his sunshine and happiness, I guess this time am the cloud that is constantly looming over his head. "Your a teenager, what do you guys know about love? I'm telling you this is just a crush. " Let me just remind him of him and mums love story.

"Dad, you and mum were in love since you were teenagers, you even had Steven when mum was still in her teens. " I protested, "Dad, I'm begging you, for my sake and please don't look at what he's done, look at who he is now, because he has changed. You work with the youth dad, you already know most of them are bad yet you still stick with them because you can see the good side to them. " I take my dad's hand and squeeze it. " This may be my only chance of actually finding love, he may be the one or he may not be the one, but at least I gave it a shot at the end of the day. " My eyes were pleading, begging for his permission; we may have gone ahead with out them knowing, but now I realise how important it was for my dad to know.

My dad sighed, and placed his other hand on top of mine. "You already know I would do anything for you, I would go above and beyond the moon, and beyond the Heavens - if they exist, to make you happy. Your my princess Ivs, I already know in myself that he's not good enough for you. I know those kind of boys Ivanna, if they do those kind of things in the past, they will do the same to you. " My dad had tears in his eyes, I can tell he's being honest, truthful, an overprotective father who wants everything and anything for his daughter.

"Can you meet him for me dad, that is all I ask. Just see how good we are together. He is truly amazing, his light brown eyes convey everything that he doesn't say. Dad, we got this connection that just cannot be broken. Our bond is getting stronger dad and I want my family to be happy with my decision. Especially you dad, because simply put, your my dad and you mean more to me than anything in the world. " I say, as a small tear rolls down my cheek, I give him a small smile. "And you know I'm the sensible type. I'll only go for that which I think is good, and I hope you can accept it. " My dad wipes away my tear with his thumb and kisses me on the forehead.

 "If that is what you truly want Ivanna, then I'll give him a chance, just for you. " He looks else where, "And what if I disapprove, what will happen then? " He asks, as if seeing a distant memory. I know my dad is looking into the past again, my parents vaguely told us how they met, but have never really explained the situation with their parents.

"I don't know dad, but... " But what would I do if my dad doesn't approve? What then? I haven't really thought of that, because I've always known my dad to be the type with open arms full of chances. "Luke may mean a lot to me dad, but you've always been there for me and I love you too much. I was just hoping that you don't disapprove, because I know how amazing you are. " I said, having a staring competition with the dark blue carpet. I heard my dad sigh, I looked up, his eyes were distant.

"I know me and your mum have told you guys how we've met, but we haven't really told you the whole truth, concerning your mums parents, and my mum to be honest. " He looked into my eyes, I flinched by the intense hurt in them. " Your mums parents didn't approve at all, they even told me how much they despised me, how much I didn't deserve her, how worthless I was and all their actions displayed how much they hated me. Even though I was 23 and had a job and everything, that was still not enough, on top of that my mum didn't approve of your mum mainly because they didn't get along, they couldn't put their difference aside. Your granddad, as you already know, passed away when I was 16, so if he was alive back then, I'm pretty sure he would have approved. But anyway regardless of their views, we loved each other too much to just leave each other, and her parents actually wanted to move away to America for good, but they didn't tell her that.

" So they left, your mum thought they were just going away for two weeks, but once they arrived and the trip lasted for more than that, she contacted me and told me everything. Like I said, I had a job, and I was saving up for me and your mums future, I already knew she was the one that is why I was saving up. I gathered a few things in a suitcase. I was so angry and mad at what they did to her that I completely forgot about my mum, so I contacted her once I got to America, and let me tell you, she was furious! I know she looks all sweet and everything right now, but back then wooii " My dad said, I started laughing, my grandma doesn't live with us, she lives with my aunty in West London that's why we hardly see her and my aunty. Let me tell you, my grandma is the best, she bakes the most yummy cookies, she used to live with us when me and Rico were still toddlers.

" Anyway, I went over to where they were staying, and only her brother was present at the time, he understood our situation and he knew he could trust me. So she packed a few things and went to stay in a hotel till we went back to London. Her parents were furious, but then again they can't really do much if their daughter has already made her final decision. " He takes a breath. " And to be honest, that kind of reminded me of what is going on with you, I feel like the past is being replayed. I feel like I'm being punished, but I swear I made the right decision, I have an amazing wife that I can't keep my eyes off and 5 amazing kids, but now this situation has risen. And I don't know. " He says, and places his hands on his head.

I feel like my heart just shattered. Now I understand why my dad was acting like so. I hate that I'm the cause of my father's pain, the cause of having his past being replayed, the fact that he doubts the final decisions he's made.

I know what my dad needs right now.

"Daddy. " I say, he looks up. I attack him in a hug, squeezing him as much as I can, I sighed. " Maybe this is a lesson for both me and you? Maybe now you know how her father felt, and I am still learning through out whats happening now, and whats going to come. But I know one thing for sure, you guys mean a lot to me, and if it means that I have to sacrifice my happiness, so that the ones I love are happy, then that is that! " I say, and tears started to flow down my cheeks, because I truly mean every word. And this is my first time truly liking a guy, so to be honest I don't know where its headed, but I know its only leading to something beautiful. 

----

I was over at Luke's house, just watching the old episodes of The Fresh Prince of Belair, with a few snacks. I was snuggled to his side, comfortably and securely. I told him everything that happened back home; he was upset that they didn't approve, but was happy that my dad was going to give him a chance. I also told him the reason why my dad acted like that, thats when he fully undertood my dads reaction.

Luke's family already know about us, so we can be more open with them. His mum accepted me with open hands - literally. 

I stood next to Luke, hold his hand tightly, fearing what his mum will make of me. He kept on telling me to relax, but really? Meeting the parent of the one your dating is quite serious, especially when its the mum! 

"Mum, this is Ivanna, my girlfriend. "  Luke said, stroking my right hand, calming my nerves only slightly.  

His mum smiled, her straight pearly teeth coming into view, as she brushed back her short pixie blond hair to the side. 

"Ivanna, it is nice to meet you. Its about time he brings you to meet me. Goodness me, you have no idea how he just couldn't stop talking about you! " She gushes, taking my hands away from Luke and taking me to the living room. 

" Mum! " Luke complained. His mum told him to go out or something, which I laughed to. 

What I learnt about his mum is that she's easy going, easy to talk to but quite strict. That she likes her hair short, she thinks its botherism and too much work when its long. She works as a manager in Marks and Spencer and enjoys her job, but dislikes her assisstance attitude, when I asked her why she just didn''t sack her, she said, "shes so good at her job, and am afraid I haven't met someone with a better attitude to work than her! "   

Its like as soon as we started talking, we've already got this instant connection, wierd but, it is what it is! 

"What do you think about going to the beach? " Luke asked, as he popped some popcorn into his mouth. I shrugged, what did I think about going to the beach? 

" I don't think about it much, but I don't mind going. " I said, I'm not that interested into the beach if you haven't already noticed, not really the sun bathing type. 

My phone started ringing, I looked at the caller ID : Steph. 

"Hey Steph. " I said through the phone. 

"Hey girly, okay basically I need some help with my graphics art work, do you think you can come over today? " She asks. Luke shakes his head, mouthing no. I stared at him, giving him a Luke. The "Really? " Look. 

"Yeah sure girly.  " I said, Luke gave me a deadpanned look. 

"I bet Luke is shaking his head, saying no hey? " I laughed, and nodded. 

" Yeah he was. " I said in between laughing. 

" Well tell him, well he can probably hear me, that you still belong to me even though you too may be dating. You will and always be mine. " Luke rolled his eyes. 

---- 

I just got off the bus as I made my way to Steph's house. I drummed my hands on my thighs as I listened to the latest songs. As I looked up, I noticed their was a man struggling to carry his shopping bags, because he was on croutches.  

" Hi, do you need any help? " I asked him. He gave me a grateful smile, and nodded. 

" Yeah that would be nice. " He said. You can tell that he was still young, probably around  21/22 years old. I carried a few of his bags as we walked down the high street. Something felt a bit off about him though, another thing was that he kept on glancing at me every now and again. I looked at him, but I didn't recognise him at all. 

"You know. " He started off with. " People may have done pretty bad things in the past, to people who they didn't want to hurt. At that moment, that person might have not been in the mood or they may just not be in the right state of mind. " He said, sincerity shinning through his eyes. 

To say I was confused was an understatement, " I don't understand what your getting at. " I said. Something did click in the back of my mind though. Something about the feature of his face, not entirely his looks, but his feature. But I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. "Do I know you from somewhere? " I politely asked. 

"I mean, no you don't know me, but you may have met me once upon a time. " He muttered. " Look, anger gets the best of people. People become thristy for revenge. And hatered blinds a person, completely. All I ask from a person who I have hurt is forgiveness. " He says, as he puts down the shopping bag infront of a small terrace house. Thats when I noticed as he put down his shopping; his white shirt revealed the tattoo that has been haunting my dreams in the past. The bird tattoo. The one at the night of the party. The guy, that tried to rape me!  

[crazymadx]

The Journey: Chapter 11#

3 Months later

---

I fiddled with my fingers as the nerves kicked in. "I think your dad might take it well. " I recalled Luke saying just yesterday before we decided to come out in the open. My dad? He won't go completely bunkers, but he won't be happy either! "Okay, maybe we shouldn't tell them. " I remember saying, trying to back out of my own idea. But I knew that we had to tell them because our relationship was getting quite serious. I don't even want to think about the reaction I would be receiving from the girls (excluding Amira, she already knows). The bright side is that my mum knows, she wasn't against it because she knew that one day I would be taking up a relationship. She advised me that it is better to tell my dad and brothers now whilst everything is calm, rather than delaying it even more, because it has already been three months since we have got together.

I remember how my mum caught me slipping.

I put on my red fitted dress and slipped on my black dolly shoes. I grabbed my purse which contained all I needed, just as I was about to open the door,

*phone vibrates*

I looked at the caller ID, Leah. I sighed, I haven't spoken to her in a while and I actually miss her. I wasn't able to answer her phone right now, so I pressed ignore and carried on with my mission, mentally reminding myself to call her when I get back.

At the moment, there was no one home, 20.00 my phone read as I unplugged it off the charger. I went downstairs, checked myself on the downstairs mirror one last time. I rotated my small heart studs, so it was all in the right angel. I let out a breath, as a smile crept to my face, as I wondered where Luke was taking me.

I opened the door, just as my mum was inserting her key, Oh shoot. Was my first thought, as my mum looked at me with raised eyebrow. I could see Luke standing next to his car from where I was standing, he was biting his lips, whether it was because of being caught by mum or another reason, I had no idea.

"Where do you think your going, dressed like that? " My mum queried, I guess this is the end, was my initial thought. I sighed.

"I was - "

"Hi Mrs Dixon. " I heard Luke say behind my mum. I started to panic, What was my mum going to think?  I thought.

After half an hour of interrogation by mum, and saying she wanted to talk to me after I get back, she allowed us to go out on our date. It turns out she actually likes Luke, I can't blame her, he's amazing.

I stood up and went to the kitchen to drink some water. I told Luke that it is better that it comes from me, and that he can meet my dad another time. Its mainly my brothers that am worried about, I know they know about Luke's history, Luke has been friends with them for a while so they would know a lot of things about him.

I heard the front door open, and then close shortly after my brothers footsteps. Then came Stevens voice, or shall I say a hyenas voice, he was singing and it was terrible.

"Can you be quiet man, we had to put up with you throughout the whole dham journey. " I heard Deon's voice. I sighed, boys! I walked in the livingroom where they currently were, did I mention my brothers take up the whole space? Did I also mention that their quite big? So basically, I had to sit on the armrest.

"Why is it, that whenever I wait for you guys to come home, I end up with no seat? " I complain, just then I got pushed off the armchair by Rico. You'd think me being his twin, that I get special treatment by him? Alas, to no avail!

"Why were you waiting for us? Is that how much you miss us yeah! " I rolled my eyes, as I sat back in my original seat.

"You look a bit nervous! " Deon pointed out. I held my left hand tightly with my right hand, don't give anything away, don't give anything away. I chanted in my head, I gave him a smile. " Nah, for real now, what's wrong with you? Why you acting like that? " Deon carried on questioning. I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. I could feel their eyes on me with every movement I made.

I felt arms enclosing on me, I knew straight away they belonged to Tyrell. Even though I'm quite close to all my brothers, Tyrell is the one I'm most close to. He's been their to comfort me through my ups and downs, even though he had to leave home to go university, he tried his hardest to attend important events that I had on. All in all, he is an amazing brother.

I wrapped my arms around him, feeling guilty already because I haven't told him about Luke, and fearing that he might disapprove.

"Sorry, Tye, I just need to go get something quickly." I muttered, and dashed upstairs. I called Luke as soon as I entered my room.

"Hel- "

" Luke I can't do this. They can't know. I feel like I've betrayed them. I hate the fact that I lied to them. I don- "

" Wooah wooah wooah, Ivanna calm down okay. Breath " Luke ordered. I let out a breath and sat down on my bed. I closed my eyes.

" How am I SUPPOSED to tell them Luke! " I asked in desperation. Luke sighed. " We have to tell them, otherwise telling them is just going to get harder. Do you want me to come over? " He asked.

" No Luke, it's fine. I think my parents are here now. I'll call you after yeah. " I said.

" Yeah, Ivs, don't worry. Hopefully they will approve, I know how much your family mean to you, so I wouldn't want to disrespect them. " I nodded.

" Yeah I know. " We hung up after awhile. I sighed. There was a knock on my door.

"Come in. " I said. Tyrell stepped into my room with a concerned look. I knew that if I stayed in a room with Tye any longer, I would spill everything. So I dragged him downstairs even though he was confused as to why I was dragging him. 

----

"So why do I feel like your going to throw a bomb at us Ivs? " Rico asked. I faked laugh and thought, cos' it just might be that!

My mum was sitting opposite me, she nodded for me to tell them.

" I -"

" Please don't tell me your pregnant because I'm just gonna go MAD. " I looked at Steven who was sitting next to me, I gave him the look, Really?  

"Steven please stop talking. " I replied. I stood up. Okay, the quicker you tell them, the easier it is. Don't be crazy, whether you tell them quickly or not, its not going to be any easier!

" Me and Luke are together, and we have been together for about three months now. And (I could hear all the what's and what the hell that they were saying) I'm really happy when I'm with him. " I was about to say I like him, but I knew it was much more than that, it was much closer to love. Before I could even finish what I was saying I got interrupted.

"Wait let me get this right. " My dad says, as he gets up from his seat. Oh no. "You've been together. With a boy. Whom I have not met? " I opened my mouth to speak. "For three months? " I sat back down in my seat. The room was eerily silent. Oh God, this is not how it was supposed to go!   I give a silent nod.

" But dad I didn't want to tell you, because I knew you would disapprove without meeting him! " I said defending my case.

" What? because you knew that Luke wasn't worth it, that he's not worth your time. That he is a flipping PLAYER " Steven said in a stern voice, his eyes were hard and angry. He was clenching and unclenching his hands.

" He isn't like that anymore, he has changed. I know you guys have known him for a quite a long time, but he isn't what he used to be. " I said softly.

"And on top of that the guys is totally worthless. " I heard my dad mutter. With that said, my heart shattered, tears started to appear, a lump started to form in my throat. I pushed the tears back. My eyes zoned in on him, I love my dad, but I didn't take him as the type to judge when they haven't met the person!

" Luke is literally a player, he's been with a lot of girls Ivanna, and not in a proper relationship. He dashes them away as if they mean nothing, his attitude stinks, and has no idea how to treat a girl. He's going to do the same thing to you. " Rico said, leaning forward in his seat, looking at the floor. " Just because he shows you his good side for a short amount of time doesn't mean he has changed. He has left many girls heartbroken. Do you understand what am saying? Do you understand what am getting at? " Why aren't they listening? Are they ignoring me on purpose? Or am I just a background noise - silent?

"None of you are listening to me. Your not even listening to me! " I said in frustration.

" Just hear her out James, okay just listen to what she has to say. " My mum defended, putting a hand on my dads shoulder.

"Lisa, did you know about this? " My dad questioned. Turning his full attention to her. "You knew about my baby going out with a boy who I haven't even approved of? " He questioned. Great now he's turning on my mum.

"Dad, I asked mum not to say anythi- "

"Did you know about it, right from the beginning ? " He questioned my mum.

"I only found out two weeks ago. Look James, you need to face the fact that she is 18, turning 19 in just a few weeks. Do you really think that she will stay single forever? " My mum asked exasperated.

"I know she won't stay single forever, but I'd at least expect for her to come to me for a final decision! " My dad replied.

"There is no decision to make, your ending it with him. " Tyrell simply stated. Come to think of it, he has been quiet all this time. I sucked in my breath, not you as well Tye, just not you as well.  He wasn't even looking at me which was worse, his arms were crossed across his chest. Representing, hostility, anger, betrayal.

"I like, actually scrap like, I'm actually starting to love him, and your all telling me that your against it. That you don't want me to be happy. Your sister, your daughter, your best friend, the one who has been listening to and relying on every piece of information you all relay to me. The people that I truly trust and love are against my happiness? " I expressed everything I felt inside, I felt warm liquid streaming down my cheeks.

"Well when you put it like that! " Deon started but got cut off.

"Were only saying this because your just that aren't you. Your our sister, our best friend. Ivanna you are so much more than other chicks, your my sister, and the way he treats girls, I will not allow him to treat you in the same manner, do you get what am saying? Your a diamond Ivs, and he's some any gem. " Steven stated. I sighed.

"I don't even know why were still talking about this! " Tyrell muttered. "Your gonna stay away from him and that is that! " I wiped away the on-going tears that aren't failing me in the least with expressing the way I feel about Luke. Its expressing how their disapproval hurts me, them not wanting me to be happy, not even giving it a chance. Not even for me! Their so called bestfriend, sister, daughter. Yet those attributes seem like something of the past.

  ----

"After hardship comes ease Ivs. Just be patient okay. They will come round in their own time. " Amaraah said, as we sat down on park bench.

"How much more longer do I need to wait Maraah? Its been nearly two weeks and still their not talking to me, except from Deon. " After that whole fiasco, my dad and none of my brothers except Deon were talking to me. The silent treatment was slowly killing me. I love my brothers and I can't do without them. My family is my rock, and I need them by my side at all times.

"They will come to know that really Luke is an okay guy. Maybe you should invite him round, do a meeting thing. " Amira suggested. I gave her a bewildered look.

"Are you crazy? " I asked. "They have already threatened Luke already. I don't want him dead, I'd rather prefer him alive thank you. " I said, as I leaned back in the seat. Closing my eyes and taking in the slightly cold Summer air.

" You know their was a statement by Imam Ghazli (one of the famous imams) and he said, 'Desires make slaves out of kings and patience makes kings out of slaves. " Amaraah said. My mind was blank, I didn't understand what was meant by that.

"Basically, that patience beautifies a person. Whatever is put to you is a trial for you, to test whether you  will be patient or not. And you know what, come to think of it, patience is what seperates a person from being ordinary and just normal. Do you get what am saying? " She asks.

"Kind of. " I replied and Amira replied with "ish"

" The more you become patient with whatever is put as a trial for you, the stronger as a person you get. And I if you look around, how many patient people do you see? You see so many that lose their temper over something so Sa'geer. Sa'geer means something which is small,. such as erm... " Amaraah said, searching for an example.

"I think I got an example. Do you remember that girl that went mad, MAD because someone took her pen? Or that time were that girl came up to you hyping to you about Luke, that time at college? " Amira said. I nodded, opening my eyes.

"Exactly, that is what is meant as sa'geer. But compared to this which is ka'beer - that means big, you need to remain patient and remember that everything will work out at its own pace. Allah has decreed everything to the truth, The pen has been lifted and the pages have dried. " Amaraah said, quoting something from the Qur'an I'm guessing.

----

And that is what lead me to where I am now, knocking on the door of my dad.

God, I hope this works out alright.