"Let's break up. I'm tired"
That was my boyfriend's last sentence before turning his back on me after a huge fight. My heart shook, adept to a huge stone being thrown at the water's calm surface, and ending up to my shoulder.
I couldn't imagine the heart wrenching pain it brought me, comparable to being gnawed on by wolves and bombed right after, turning into very tiny fragments. Taking the life out of it.
I was never a fan of poetry, until he gave me one. I was drowned in his profound imagery and indulged me with all kinds of metaphors. I was carved in every one of his masterpieces. What a fantasy I deluged myself into—before.
Now, seeing his newly written poems that's filled with life, I just can't accept the pain knowing it would be for someone else. Not for me anymore.
"Keilla, are you ready? You're first!" the restaurant owner shouted from the side.
I immediately got my guitar and went to the backstage for my performance. Tonight is the restaurant's weekly concert, and I am one of the performers.
"Sing from the heart, okay?"
The moment I sat down on the small stage's seat, my heart began pounding uncontrollably. My grip on the guitar tightened, gathering my courage on the decision I made today.
I closed my eyes. As I strum the first melody of the guitar, flashes of vivid memories rushed through me. Strenghtening my stand on my resolution.
🎶My shattered dreams and broken heart are mending on the shelf🎶
"You don't need these make up. You are much more beautiful without it"
He said, putting aside my makeup kit and kissing me on the forehead. I giggled. He lifted my chin up and rewarded me butterfly kisses on my lips. Damn. My face heated up.
"Kievve, stop teasing me!"
He chuckled seeing my reaction.
He always made me feel my own version of cinderella. It made me fall for him. Hard, and deep.
🎶Now I sit all alone wishin' all my feelings was gone
I asked out of curiousity. I mean, there are a lot of fishes in the sea, why me?
He looked straight into my eyes.
"Because it has to be you."
🎶 I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
I must've indulged myself too much on this fantasy. I forgot we weren't living in fairytales, and reality slapped me real hard.
He became cold and distant. His replies became shorter and shorter until he rarely sent me messages anymore.
"You said you'd never leave."
"That was before, Keilla."
"Kievve, baby, please don't. What had I done wrong? Please tell me. I'd fix it. Just... don't."
"Let's break up, Keilla. I'm tired"
🎶 I was here, you were there. Guess we never could agree
"Let go, please. Let go and make me happy"
The hand that was clinging on him lost its strenght, along with dying hope. My mind went blank. I stiffened.
He's not happy with me anymore?
🎶While the sun shines on you, I need some love to rain on me
I cannot measure the amount of tears I poured for him. Every night I go out with my friends to drink, and I always ended up wasted.
🎶 One last cry before I leave it all behind. I gotta put you out of my mind this time. Stop living a lie🎶
Why do people came into our lives just to leave us broken at the very end? Like a calm evening disturbed by a raging storm, left deformed.
🎶 I know I gotta be strong 'coz life 'round me goes on and on...
Realization strucked me. I shouldn't have loved too much, to avoid hurting so much. I should've left some for myself, to heal the scars once broken. Because the only thing that would be left with me once abandoned is myself. And giving away too much would only slow down my healing, 'coz I don't have enough love in me to cover me with warmth.
That I should've loved myself a bit more.
🎶 I guess I'm down... to my last cry 🎶
The last drop of tears fell from eyes, symbolizing the final song I'd ever dedicate to him. Embracing for a stronger, tougher Keilla.
