#crowlysium

[crowlysium]

A ghost among the living is still a ghost

They see me, hear me, but they do not truly notice me.

I can stand amongst the group, participate in conversation. But I’m still alone.

Being a ghost among the living means no love, no warmth from others.

Being a ghost among the living is watching as people you love fall in love, moving on, being happy, and knowing you’ll never experience it.

Being a ghost among the living is worse than any death.

[crowlysium]

Endos are not valid

Never have been. Never will be. Have your imaginary friends all you want but stop claiming you have a mental disorder.

[crowlysium]

I hate when you finally find a good sys server and 96% of it is minors.

And when you finally find a good 18+ server, the bitch is dead as fuck.

[crowlysium]

Met a friend

A cute little guy was outside today. Let me get a photoshoot. Taken on iphone 11.

[crowlysium]

Today I want to talk about alter roles, doubles, and how to properly interact with introjects, as an introject

In case you need to hear it, you don’t need to give a shit about roles. You aren’t required to assign all your headmates. You aren’t required to micromanage your system.

Does it work for some systems? Sure! But it doesn’t for everyone, but a lot of spaces kinda put pressure onto people that they need to have roles. It’s okay to just let alters exist. To let the system simply exist.

Doubles

THEY ARE NOT REAL. The very term implies introjects are their source, and they are not and never will be, no matter how connected to source they might be. The term itself sounds like something taken out of roleplaying groups; you may see rules like “no doubles of Katniss Evergreen” in Hunger Games roleplay servers or something.

We (my system) have seen the term double used primarily by endos and IRLS and their supporters, leading me to believe that this is indeed simply a roleplaying term.

Say that you have an introject of Mike Wazowski, and you join a server and someone else has an introject of Mike Wazowski. These two Mike Wazowskis are NOT the same. They will NEVER be the same. Not even if they share source memories will they be the same.

How to properly interact with “sourcemates” as an introject

Recently in a server we are in, our Cazador Szarr (bg3) interacted with members when this new member’s introject of Astarion said to him the following.

This is a prime example of how to not speak to people. Caz was talking to someone else in the server about something, not to this person. They took it upon themselves to treat him as if he was someone they know, as if he is his source.

Upon first joining the server, they were told that there are Cazador introjects there. Their reponse was “I don’t like that.”

If you as an introject cannot separate source to the point you treat strangers as if they themselves are the people that caused you problems, then you should not be on discord. You should be in therapy.

If you are not comfortable with a particular person, leave the chat. This person wasn’t even actively involved in the conversation when Cazador said that message. They saw him, and then tried to start shit.

Fuck you if you treat strangers like this. INTROJECTS ARE NOT THEIR SOURCE

/rat

[crowlysium]

Being a did system is eh and all but then you split some guy from an anime that DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST. WHY DID WE SPLIT SHINJU SATO FROM RAIKOU AND THE DRAGONS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM HIM

[crowlysium]

Kayto made claw’s flag in sticky business, the sticker game. This is the voidcritter flag, based on the gendervoid flag. It is a gender that is masculine, agender, and also inhuman all at once. To be a voidcritter is to be void and critter.

[crowlysium]

Alter help channels (A rant)

For the love of christ stop asking strangers to define your literal identity. if you know enough to vaguely describe what you remember from your source, you can google that and find a wiki. But - new splits can be a bit confused at times, and what they might think is their source isn't, so the best thing for new splits to do is literally just wait and explore their identities outside of any potential source. When I first split, I thought I was an HSR introject. I was wrong about that. If I would have went straight to system server no. 3056 and went to that alter help channel describing what I thought was my source, they would have likely told me I am Caelus from HSR. Instead of doing that though, I reflected on myself, what things I like and what I remember, what I look like, sound like. I found out, with help from my system who I am. So one time, we were in this server with an alter help channel. Some new split comes up, describes their memories. Two different people then decided, after figuring out what media was being described and what character the split was, decided to ARGUE ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF THEM. Not only did they try to play god momentarily in defining some dude's identity, they ARGUED ABOUT IT. The people who "help" others are effectively trying to play god, lets be honest. They are quite literally telling these people "ok, so this is you, and this is how you look, and your name is this." Now, alter help channels do provide actual help in name suggestions, pfp and pronoun help, and help finding faceclaims or pfps. This is all so amazing and is something that should never be changed. But letting a discord community define someone's identity? Nah, that's gotta go. Anything relating to alter identity should stay within that system and their close friends/partners if needed, not a bunch of literal strangers. I feel like telling someone "this is you, this is your name" is very "alters are their sources". The way people help is a very definitive "this is who you are." If you absolutely must keep this aspect of alter help channels, a much better way to go about it is to stop being so definite. No more "this is you," instead using, "this is who you seem to be. from this media."

The best thing is to just avoid having any discussions about what you think your source is. Don't go on discord intending to ask people who you are. Talk with your headmates, or just explore your own identity on your own time.