#cryptid scrapeface

[sad-boy-hank]

Scrapes: Hey, this actually tastes pretty good! What's in it?

Sheriff: Half a can of Redbull, a 5-hour-energy, a shot of espresso, and two crushed-up Adderall pills.

Scrapes:

Doc: We call it "Fuck You".

[sad-boy-hank]

cryptidcore incorrect quotes

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Tricky: HELLO YES I AM

Tricky: I AM A NORMAL CLOWN

Tricky: PLEASE RELEASE ME FROM CONTAINMENT

Tricky: I WILL NOT BITE YOU

Sheriff: don't fall for it don't fall for it don't fall for it

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Cig Addict: Original called me the B-word!

Original: "Motherfucker" doesn't start with a B.

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Photographer: *turns on their flashlight*

Phobos, Typhon, Hera, and Eris: a̭̯̥̤͈̒ͣ͡n͕͙̠̭͙̆̆ͦ͡ ͈͔̻ͦ̂͆͂͡I ̤̗̗̱͖̱͙͗͆́͡o̲̠͎̓̄ͣ̋͡o͔͇͓͔ͧ̆͋͝p̡̦̻̟͗

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Auditor: If anyone makes fun of you for saying "okie dokie", you will kill them. Good luck!

Scrapes: Okie dokie boss! I'll do my best!

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Peppi, grabbing Sheriff: Oh my god shut up my partner is asleep.

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Jeb: You're telling me a queer coded this?

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[sad-boy-hank]

I updated the ref sheets for the main scientists of the Cryptidcore AU

[sad-boy-hank]

cryptids go brrrrrrrrrr

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Doc: Damn, sorry boss, can't come into work today.

Auditor: Why?

Doc: I have to track down and kill my ex.

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Jeb: Hi, I'm Dr. Christoff. Have you or a loved one been injured in an accident?

Scrapes: . . . Uh, no-

Jeb: Sucks to be you, I guess.

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Doc: What are you dri-

Sheriff: Battery acid.

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Cigar: *literally just trying to relax*

Deimos, waddling into the house: You better watch out, you better watch out, you better watch out, YOU BETTER WATCH-

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Photographer: FUCK YOU Melanie! I have TWO HOT MONSTER BOYFRIENDS AND A PAIR OF MONSTER WIVES AND THEY WILL WRECK YOUR SHIT!

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Sheriff: Welcome to the British Museum!

*he cocks his pistol*

Sheriff: You can't leave.

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Sanny: Oh, dear, oh dear, oh gorgeous-

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Church and Jorge, pointing at Sheriff: Little baby! Little baby man! Little baby baby man! BABY!

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Tricky, busting down the door: FUCK YOU ALL

Uldwell: Oh lawd he comin'

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Doc: So, uh. . . I've never, y'know, killed someone before. . . how do I hide the body?

Crackpot: Bitch I'm a doctor, not a mortician.

Doc:

Crackpot: Let's toss it in the lake.

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Heavy Duty: Alright, I'm gonna get something to ea-

*they see Deimos standing on the counter*

Deimos:

Heavy Duty: I can see you-

Deimos: No you can't.

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Photographer: Everyone, this is called a "yeet."

Phobos, Typhon, Hera, and Eris: Yeet? Yeet? Yeet? Yeet?

[sad-boy-hank]

Hate how he doesn't ever take off that ribbon :/ hes kinda hot tho

[sad-boy-hank]

That 'did you screw any of the monsters' question would have the Hunter (guess that's their name now) wondering if they've stumbled into some weird sex cult posing as an organization before just getting drunk in the kitchen.

Peppi struts in to hunker down with Scrapes and Hunter recognizes them as a romp and the two are just like

[sad-boy-hank]

I don't know why but the thought of some kind of grizzled stereotypical monster hunter finding out about the cryptid organization is funny to me. Like they hear about this one place where folks are investigating monsters and goes there for one reason or another (maybe a bit of monster slaying) and just finding out that the expectations of fellow serious or practical hunters is just shattered as he sees the dumbasses running the place.

ONCWJONHDSN LMAO- they hope that at least maybe the leader is competent but no, Aud's cozying up next to Burnout for a nice cuddle while Tricky kills Doc for the eighth time this week. Scrapes is desperately trying to get Hunter to get to the kitchen to avoid the chaos, and Sheriff is asking Hunter if they've fucked any of the monsters they've encountered. Hell world.

[sad-boy-hank]

I know I said I was gonna send (deli) lunch meat as part of my next ask as a joke- but maybe it’s not so much a joke anymore- That’s right, I’m wondering about lunch at the foundation,, we know Jeb has done some dubious food crimes but like- the foundation loves and cares for it’s employees and their health!! So you know they are actually providing good lunch options!! None of that school lunch typa ripoff, we’re talkin’ edible food!! Hell!! We’re talkin’ delicious food actually!! You can guarantee you’re getting an amazing eating experience, you can get entree plus sides!! Get yourself a drink and even a one of those lil desserts!! The lunch staff are the backbone of this society I swear- and the fact they sometimes have to make specially made blends for some of their “pickier” members of containment,, as well as just taking their employees dietary needs into consideration!! I’m just saying hands down, lunch at the foundation is lovely :] - Dell Anon

yeah! scrapes is a VERY good cook and peppi has a wonderful nose for spices!