#cudvac

[dansedan]

Their dynamic is stupidly fucking mushy compared to every other pasta couple so I went kinda Whole Hog On The Disney Princess Cutesyness even though they’re like... definitely not this mushy in the OG film lmao. I just.... had A Need To Fulfill for fluffy cowboys. 

[jacksonbently]

Japanese dvd cover for Beyond the Law (1968)

[bleak-nomads]

“Smoke?”

“Mr. Cudlip--”

“I told you about that.”

“Alright, look Cudlip-- don’t think I’m uh...being rude with you, but is it necessary for you to follow me around all the time?”

“I know, I know-- you just look like a soft little thing that doesn’t need any help and protecting, huh? But the minute my back is turned, you’re gonna outdo me and ten more like me? Don’t try it.” 

[robinsnest2111]

Puma Cudlip + Bunny Ben ♥

[jacksonbently]

*gazes longingly at bf through bullet hole*

[bleak-nomads]

cudlipshowsoffforcuteboy.png

[bleak-nomads]

Mantimer rom-com AU

Yeah so this is because @cudvac and I were looking at this (suggestive) poster for FAFDM and thought “well this looks like a romcom” and then we had a time of it thinking of this wacky modern tropey AU. Don’t take this too seriously ;)

the protag- Manco, fashion designer, his thing is ponchos. Designs the best ponchos. Will he do anything else? No one knows. But his work is up-and-coming hot right now, just starting to get noticed in particular by….

the love interest- Douglas Mortimer, former editor for a hot fashion mag who has recently broken in to the design world. Takes an interest in Manco’s work, is interested in a collab. Manco is just interested in him. But we have drama, since Mortimer sometimes freelances as a photographer, and takes a lot of pictures of…

the rival- El Indio, a model, total drama queen and generally impossible to work with, killer on the runway and even more so in real life. His thing is showing boob wherever necessary, and frequently when unnecessary. Manco can’t stand him, frequently complains about him to….

the best friend (1)- That kid Manco hangs out with in FAFDM. is it weird that Manco generally asks for advice from a kid who is probably 14? Yes, absolutely but he gets the sass he deserves. Also providing sass is….

the best friend (2)-  Mary, who is always trying to bang Manco but has sort of given up and treats it more like a joke. She runs a bar that Manco is always grumping about in, hah. 

Anyways we thought this would be a fun turn on the whole ‘two love interests’ thing if Manco had the misconception that Mortimer was interested in Indio for most of the film, and felt like he was ‘competing’ with this other model for Mortimer’s attentions.

Meanwhile, Mortimer is mostly obsessed with trying to get back at Indio for ruining his sister’s modelling career by exploiting his one weakness…Indio cannot stand there existing bad pictures of him…so if he can just get one bad picture….

but of course Mortimer find himself a little distracted from his mission by the new young designer and well, hijinks, fun and miscommunications ensue that end with the two of them getting the picture and getting together ofc. 

People should feel free to add…whatever to this shitpost…edits, more commentary, anything, hah. We had a fun time of it. 

[bleak-nomads]

Angel Eyes headcanons pt. 2 (part trash)

@cudvac is a fantastic enabler and we make a great team :) If you thought the last ones were trash, hold on to your hats….

These are like my previous headcanons about angel eyes sleeping around, but turned up to eleven, and with a side of Blondeyes ;). I like these most in the ‘verse where Blondie and Angel Eyes end up together ehehe 

Childhood headcanon that rapidly turned into something really interesting (thanks @cudvac) is that despite rejecting religion from a young age, he had a strong interest in angel lore and used to bother the priests about them constantly. Always asking questions he shouldn’t. 

I like to headcanon that he can play one song on the piano, and he has it memorized and can play it quite well. The song is a piano version of Mozart’s Dies Irae. He’s never wanted to play anything else, but loves the drama of being able to play this whenever the situation demands it. It was taught to him by the choir master at the church, and it reminds him of the great and terrible power of angels.

Honestly, he’s a bit of a weirdo dork about the angel lore, like used to go on about it excitedly before he became the dark intense threatening Angel Eyes we see in canon

His first lover, who we named Isaac because of the biblical connotations, was one of Angel Eyes’ very very rare squishes. Isaac used to listen to him go on about angelic lore and occasional sketch cryptid-looking angels for him

When they finally screwed though….it was something of a revelation, lmao, like “sex with men is incredible.” and he then focused pretty much all his energy on how to become desirable, which turns out to be more interesting than he bargained on. 

A la young Lee, he was a bit more of a sweet come-on at first; who would shock his partners by being super bossy, intense, and proficient in bed once they got there.

I think when he killed Isaac for the hit-job, and felt nothing, the revalation was more of a fascinated “oh so this is the kind of person I am”– and that’s when he mostly dropped the sweet act unless it’s absolutely necessary. The intensity gets him enough at this point, anyways.

My new favourite dimension to Angel Eyes, thanks @cudvac is him as “the hitman that everyone has hit, but no one talks about it”. Like, not that he gives a fuck, but if they talk about it, he feels like he has to kill them, because otherwise it’s bad for business. 

So there’s this nice sort of tension between two criminals whenever they mention they’ve worked with Angel Eyes because they’re thinking to themselves “so….did you fuck him too?”

the answer is usually yes, fyi

Some of them actually fall for him, which is inconvenient and a pain and he collects the more useful among them to work for him (if they’ve got to hang around, they might as well be useful to him). Among this harem: Wallase and the six bandits who stalk him and Blondie. He didn’t tell them to stalk him. They just do that. 

Has definitely goaded said harem into gangbanging him at least once and loved every minute of it

Wallase is something of a special idiot in the harem, since he’s, well, the soppiest among them and writes the worst poetry imaginable for Angel. Angel tells him it’s shit, but puts up with it because he is very good at threatening people, and is a great lay tbh. 

Wallase is also the only one among them sort of thick enough to think he has anything special over Angel– all the others kind of know it’s a lost cause, but they stick together like some kind of fucked-up family because, well. Why not eh?

Sleep headcanon that Angel functions on about 5 hours of sleep every night, but also likes to takes naps from time to time to recharge. This is where the actual…canon of him doing this in GBU comes in. Yeah, @cudvac and I were pretty amused by that. 

Getting back to Blondeyes, we think Blondie is the first actual squish/ person he’s wanted to be with on the regular since Isaac. Mostly it’s because he can sense Blondie is also aromantic as heck, so he wouldn’t get attached and he wouldn’t have to deal with all these guys after him

Cue the awkward picnic deleted scene where Angel just….doesn’t know how to act like himself, because he’s so used to either being the Intense Fucking Badass Cowboy he is, or just being whoever he’s with would find most desirable, aww. 

Anyways, in this insane canon-divergence AU Blondie ends up screwing Tuco over and they become the terror of the west forever. Nice. 

I can’t believe ya’ll got this far, you must be as trash as I am <3 <3 <3 maybe I’ll write a fic about parts of this someday, but for now, have this mess. Thanks again Bec. </p>