“What did you do?”
It was a question she had been posed more often than not. It was so secret to anyone in the Order that Mary was somewhat of a renegade, though Moody, or even Alice, rarely ever put it as nicely. However, when others asked her what she had done, there was a hint of disdain, even anger in their voices. Dorcas was different, she was worried, scared even, and Mary knew that she was genuinely concerned for her well being; as if Mary hadn’t been taking care of herself from the first damn day she stepped foot in Hogwarts.
Mary had nearly made it up the stairs into her room at the Order’s headquarters, before Dorcas’ voice filled the small hallway. She was standing in the doorway of her room, looking smaller and meeker in the darkness than she usually did. Mary could tell Dorcas had been awake, waiting. “Did I tell you not to wait up, Dorcas?” Her brow raised and Dorcas took a step out of her doorway and into the hallway. “What did you do?” She repeated and Mary huffed. “I’m tired, Dee. I don’t need to tell you where I was nor do I want to.” She spoke as she turned on her heels, continuing down the hall until Dorcas repeated herself for the third time, more firmly than she had before, causing Mary to stop in her tracks.
It was people like Dorcas that needed to be protected. Sweet, innocent, genuinely good people who didn’t need to know what it was like to take a life. Mary could have easily told her about the man who’s throat she’d slit. How’d she listened to him choke on his own blood before he took his last breath. How the cold gaze that Mary gave him would be the last thing he ever saw. Mary could have dragged Dorcas down the dark path she was headed in, but she couldn’t. So Mary turned back towards her, taking slow steps until she was only inches from Dorcas, who was now trying to hold her ground as best she could. Mary could hear her uneven breaths, and see how hard Dorcas tried to keep her eyes on Mary, though they eventually faltered and fell to the ground. A sure sign Dorcas wasn’t ready to hear exactly what being a solider in a war entailed. Mary wanted to instill a fear in Dorcas, she didn’t want her to keep digging into things that she didn’t really want to hear. Dorcas needed to stay far away from the things Mary had seen and done, and if Mary had to be the bad guy, and be the one to do it, she would.
“What everyone else is too scared to do. I did what needed to be done.”
Mary continued to glare at her, but Dorcas’ eyes remained on the floor. “Go to bed Dorcas.” And with that, regardless of what Dorcas did or said next, Mary entered the room down the hall and pushed the door closed behind her.
