#d'arque

[ash-or-somethings]

Beauty and the Beast incorrect quotes

Beast: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Belle: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Beast: Death is a social construct.

Babette: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Mrs Potts: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Lumiere?

Lumiere: Probably “road work ahead”.

Cogsworth: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

*Beast is cooking*

Belle: Any chance that’s for me?

Beast: It’s for Lumiere . I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.

Cogsworth: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Lumiere: Truth or dare?

Belle: Dare

Lumiere: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Belle: Hey Beast

Beast, blushing: Yeah?

Belle: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Babette

Beast: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Belle: 'Prettiest Smile'

Mrs Potts: 'Nicest Personality'

Lumiere : 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Babette: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Beast: Bye Belle! Bye Cogsworth! Bye Lumiere ! Bye Babette! Bye Belle!

Cogsworth: You said ‘bye Belle’ twice.

Beast: I like Belle.

Mrs Potts: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Belle: Have everyone stand.

Lumiere: Bring three more chairs!

Cogsworth: The most important ones can sit down.

Beast: Kill three.

Lumiere: Do you take constructive criticism?

Babette: I only take cash or credit.

Babette: Lumiere and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Lumiere: Sentences.

Babette: Don't interrupt me.

Lumiere: I made tea.

Babette: I don’t want tea.

Lumiere: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Babette: Then why are you telling me?

Lumiere: It is a conversation starter.

Babette: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Lumiere: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Lumiere: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Cogsworth: What did you do Lumiere?

Lumiere: A MISTAKE

Mrs Potts: You have to apologize to Cogsworth

Beast: Fine.

Beast: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Wardrobe: Hewwo.

Cogsworth: Hihiiiiii!

Lumiere: Greetings, Humans.

Mrs Potts: Three kinds of people.

Babette: I want pudding.

Wardrobe: Four kinds of people.

Chip: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?

Mrs Potts: Five kinds of people.

Gaston: So what’s for dinner?

Lefou, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Gaston: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Lefou: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Gaston: Absolutely not.

Lefou: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Gaston: Thank you

Lefou: I didn't say that was a good thing

Gaston: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Gaston: Lefou...

Lefou: Oh no, 'Lefou' in b-flat.

Lefou: You're disappointed.

Gaston: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Lefou: Really? Name one law

Gaston: Don't kill people?

Lefou: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Gaston: While I’m gone, Lefou, you’re in charge.

Lefou: Yes!!!

Gaston, whispering: D'arque, you’re secretly in charge.

D'arque: Obviously.

Lefou: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

D'arque : *turning to Gaston* How tall are you?

Mrs Potts: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Beast: Anything, honestly, but book nerds especially

Mrs Potts, desperately, as Beast bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Beast: Oh! B positive.

Mrs Potts: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Beast:

Cogsworth: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Lumiere: You and me!!!

Cogsworth , tearing up: Okay.

Lefou: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Gaston: You and me!!!

Lefou, tearing up: Okay.

Mrs Potts: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Beast: Killed without hesitation.

Mrs Potts: No.

Mrs Potts: Okay, truth or dare?

Beast: Truth

Mrs Potts: How many hours have you slept this week?

Beast:

Beast: ...Dare

Mrs Potts: Go to bed.

Beast: I don’t like this game.

[dragoneyes613]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

The last moments of Alaric Potts.

[dragoneyes613]

Monsieur D’Arque is the closest thing to a psychiatrist the Isle of the Lost has.

This does not exactly go well.

[wowyoudidntmissashotgaston]

That wolf pet of your's is not to be trusted. Wolves are not to be trusted. One day, it will not think twice and crunch that thick head of your's right off your shoulders. Watch yourself, Mr Lefou. Nothing goes past my eyes. The fact that it knows speech should concern you more then it seems to. How daft can you be, Lefou? -D'Arque

*suspiciously eyeing the creepy old dude with green skin who he never really liked all that much* 

"Huh? I never told anyone in town about any talking wolf! You must be imagining things. You spend too much time with loonies! Must be catching."

*sticks his tongue out at D'Arque and twirls finger around his ear*