Chapter Five - I’m so sorry, Everett
Everett was always the black sheep of the family and after an abusive relationship, she’s trying to find her place in the world. Andy is trying to start his life over after the loss of his son and his divorce. Will she light up the darkness hanging over him? Will he quiet her mind and free her from her past? Together, they will find out what true love and happiness are supposed to be.
Pairing: Andy Barber/Everett James, Andy Barber/OFC
Warnings: There will be explicit language, mentions of a past abusive relationship (psychological and emotional, not physical), and references to death (This is a blend of the book and the series). Daddy kink. Smut (A little bit here, there and more later if I can write it). Minors DNI. You are responsible for the content you consume. 18+ ONLY
Notes: Tatte like is pronounced like “latte”. The video is my own from when I attended the exhibit. And yes, it’s been a long time. Life has been heavy. Just too fucking heavy.
Word Count - 4200
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Previous
Plans were made. Everett and Andy were going on a proper official first date. Everett was nervous as she walked over the bridge into Seaport, making her way to the ICA. She stopped for a moment, looking out over the harbour and laughed at herself. This man made her cum in an alley but here she was filled with butterflies before going to an art gallery with him, one of her favourite places in the city. Andy had offered to pick her up but she knew she would want the walk to clear her head. Andy wasn’t Trevor and never did anything to make her feel the way Trevor used to but those thoughts were so deep inside her, it was hard to forget them.
Everett got back to her route and found Andy doing his best to look like he wasn’t eagerly waiting for her arrival. She smiled and walked over to him. She liked seeing his face when he caught sight of her. He always seemed so happy to see her and that made her feel good. There were a lot of people in her life who never seemed to care when she was around and Andy was genuinely excited to be spending time with her.
“Hey, Evvy.” He gave her a hug then he pulled her in for a kiss that almost got away from him before he remembered where they were. “I was going to get you the halva latte you like from Tatte you were sending me pictures of the other day but then I realized we probably couldn’t take them into the museum so I owe you one.”
“I won’t forget that you know, Daddy,” Everett reached up to whisper the last part into his ear. That was a word just for him to hear.
Andy let out a quiet groan. He didn’t understand why he loved it so much when she called him Daddy but it made his cock twitch every time.
“I know you won’t,” Andy laughed and took Everett’s hand, leading her into the gallery. “So what is this exhibit again?”
“It’s Wu Tsang: Of Whales. It’s kind of like a movie but it’s the whale from Moby Dick and it’s all made on a gaming platform and there’s sound all around you,” Everett explained with a joy on her face that melted Andy’s heart. He didn’t know much about art and this sounded kind of out there but he was down for anything that made Everett this happy.
“Lead the way, Baby.”
Using her membership, Everett got their tickets and the couple walked through a few rooms on their way to the main event. Andy felt so content and couldn’t get enough of Everett talking about the different pieces. Most of it went over his head but he could listen to her talk about art for hours.
They weaved through the entrance to the exhibit and into a huge room, all dark except for the video on the massive screen. There were large bean bag chairs in an arc facing the installation. Everett and Andy settled in and Andy leaned over to whisper to Everett.
“Now that I’m down here, I may never be able to get out.”
Everett giggled. “You’re not that old, silly.” She kissed his cheek and looked up at the screen.
“So what do we do now?” Andy asked as quietly as possible.
“We watch and listen and feel.” Andy silently nodded and placed his arm around Everett.
They sat there and watched the installation. The whale was swimming and floating around. The screen filled with images and lights, changing as the whale went up for air in real time once an hour. The oceanscape was mesmerizing and neither Everett nor Andy realized how long they had been sitting there. Peacefully and silently together, fingers intertwined. Andy had spent most of the time watching Everett watch the piece. The blue lights reflected on her face creating sparkles in her eyes.
Everett sensed Andy’s gaze and looked over at him. “Do you want to walk a bit? Go through that last room and maybe walk along the harbour?”
Andy nodded and waited for Everett to stand up first. He held out his hand to get her to pull him up. She fake heaved him up quietly and they exited the exhibit before they started laughing. As they walked past the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the harbour, Andy paused. He took Everett’s face in his hand and kissed her. It was long and slow and possibly not appropriate for the public setting but he didn’t care.
Everett gasped for breath and then hid her face in Andy’s chest. He ran a hand up and down her back. “I enjoyed that exhibit.”
“Really? You don’t have to say that to make me happy. It’s okay. I know I’m too into art and stuff sometimes.”
Andy tilted Everett’s chin up to make eye contact. “I’m not just saying it. It was beautiful. And I love listening to you talk about art. I know I won’t always understand but the more you talk, the more I will understand one day. I don’t want you to ever stop talking about the things that make you happy, okay?”
Everett dipped her head in agreement.
”No, Babygirl. I need words.”
Everett’s breath hitched and she replied, “Yes, Daddy.”
“Good girl.”
They stared at each other for another moment, both feeling the heat building between them. A screaming kid in the next room broke them out of their reverie.
“Okay, show me the rest of this place,” Andy said with a smile. Everett took Andy’s hand and they made their way through the rest of the gallery.
An hour later, Andy sat next to Everett, looking out at the harbour. They had been quietly resting on the waterfront steps outside the gallery, hand in hand.
“I made a reservation at Citrus and Salt. Is that okay?” Andy asked. “It’s Mexican. Not pretentious.”
”That sounds great. But I will apologize in advance for how many tacos I destroy,” Everett said with a laugh.
Andy smiled and stood, arm outstretched to lift Everett to her feet. “Let’s go, Evvy.”
Everett spent the entire ten-minute walk surprised at how easy everything with Andy was. She and Trevor couldn’t walk a block without it being awkward or him provoking a fight somehow. That’s why they seldom went out, instead watching whatever Trevor wanted to watch at his place and ordering in food. He spent the whole time on his phone, ignoring her. If he did talk, it was about the Patriots or something else Everett did care about. And he didn’t care. He didn’t care about her. Trevor rarely came to her loft. “It’s old and it smells.” Everett’s eyes rolled at the thought. Meanwhile, all Andy did was ask her about her photography and art. And hold her hand. He hadn’t let go since they met up. He always had a hand on her and it gave her a sense of security she had never felt before.
Everett’s train of thought continued as they ate. Andy was chatty. His phone vibrated a few times and he ignored it every time, eventually shoving it away in a pocket. She wasn’t used to that from a lawyer after a lifetime with her father and a decade off and on with Trevor. She loved watching Andy gesture as he talked about his mom and a few childhood memories. There was a joy inside him she hadn’t realized and she was so happy he was sharing it with her.
“Okay, one more churro but then that’s it!” Andy let out a sigh and pushed his plate to the center of the table. He split the treat in half and popped the bite of fried dough in his mouth and winked.
”There is always room for churros,” Everett teased. “Mmmm so sugary.” Everett took the final bite, savouring every morsel.
This time Everett put her hand out on the table, waiting for Andy to place his hand in hers. “This was perfect.”
Andy nodded in agreement and threw some cash on the table. “I parked just up the block. Let’s get you home.”
Everett grabbed her bag then stopped Andy and reached up to give him a sweet kiss - a literal sweet kiss as they both still had sugar and cinnamon on their lips. She moaned into his mouth, making him smile and pull back to whisper, “Not here, Evvy.”
His voice in her ear sent shivers down her spine and tingles everywhere else. She didn’t know what to expect tonight but at this moment, she was ready to give Andy every piece of herself, anything he wanted.
As expected, Andy took Everett’s hand once they were in the car, managing the wheel with his free hand. Everett was starting to feel nervous but then felt silly for feeling nervous. Her mind was racing and trying to tell herself it was just excitement for what was about to come. Hopefully, her. She snickered to herself.
Andy found a spot to park near Everett’s door and Everett took a deep breath, trying to psych herself up.
“Do you want to come up for —“
Andy’s phone buzzed just as she started to talk but he didn’t ignore it this time. He grimaced and fired off a text.
“… a drink or just to talk?” Everett finished her sentence but her voice dwindled off.
“I have an early meeting. I should get going.” Andy’s jaw twitched and he rested both hands on the wheel.
”Oh. Of course. Sorry. No worries.” Everett undid her seatbelt as fast as she could. “Thanks for dinner. It was nice.”
Andy pulled her towards him and gave her a kiss. “It was more than nice. I will call tomorrow okay?” His eyes had softened and looked more like her Andy but that little voice in the back of Everett’s mind wouldn’t stop yelling. She did something to change his feelings for her.
She smiled with a curt nod and headed to her door. Everett watched from the foyer of the building as Andy drove off. She wasn’t sure what they may have done if Andy had come upstairs but she would have liked the opportunity to find out. Everett stomped around the loft trying to keep her mind off of Andy, eventually giving up and going to bed.
The night was spent tossing and turning and when she woke in the morning, her instinct was to reach for her phone. Andy always sent a ‘Good Morning’ text. It had been her favourite part of the past few days. Since their trip to the flea market, all of the days had felt better and it was because of Andy. But there was no message.
With a sigh, Everett threw the covers off and headed downstairs for coffee. She spent the morning like she spent last night. Jumping from spot to spot, trying to stay busy. She listened to a podcast while working on an embroidery piece. She stocked up the dark room. When she was about to start organizing her negatives based on the rule of thirds, she realized she was more upset than she thought.
No. She wasn’t upset. She was sad. This reminded her of Trevor and how she felt every day with him. Always begging for crumbs of attention and her actions being used against her. Everett truly didn’t believe Andy would be like this but her brain wouldn’t let her think otherwise. In a moment of weakness, she decided to text Andy. Maybe his appointment was keeping him preoccupied and he would like a message from her. Hoping it was cute and not desperate, Everett picked up her phone.
E - I can’t get those churros off my mind ;)
Andy hadn’t replied by the time Everett finished her third cup of coffee so she gave up. She headed into the darkroom and stayed there for the rest of the day. Any rolls around the place were developed. Photos were printed and experimented with. A few might be able to become sellable pieces but Everett knew her heart wasn’t in it. She ordered a pizza and moped, watched an old season of Drag Race, and went to bed.
This time, when Everett woke up, it was a mixture of anger and worry. If he was blowing her off, he should at least tell her to her face. If something happened, maybe on his drive home or in the morning, she wanted to find him and make sure he was okay. Her only option was to go to the office and see if he was there. If she ran into her dad, visiting Claire or Tony would be an acceptable excuse. That would work on Andy as well if he were being a dick and ghosting her. She got dressed and made her way to Beacon Hill.
”I didn’t expect to see you today,” Claire said as she hugged Everett. “I thought you would still be in your fortress of sex with Andy.” Claire waggled an eyebrow.
“What are you talking about?” Everett asked with confusion as she sat down on an extra chair behind Claire’s desk.
“I haven’t heard from either of you since your date so I figured you hooked up and were fucking each other senseless. You both need it if I’m being honest,” Claire whispered, making sure no one was walking nearby.
”Claire! God,” Everett scolded her sister in-law while she picked at her nails. “I haven’t heard from him since he dropped me off after dinner.” Her voice got softer. “He didn’t even come up when I invited him. No texts. Nothing.”
Claire squeezed Everett’s knee.
”That doesn’t sound like Andy. He spent more time at my desk on Wednesday talking about how excited he was than he did doing any work.” Claire turned to her computer and tapped away. “He had booked off yesterday. It seems he blocked that day off right when he started. There’s nothing about today in the calendar though.”
”So I’m such an awful date that he needed multiple days to recover? Great.” Everett chirped and slumped further in her chair. “I shouldn’t have got my hopes up.”
“E. Come on. Andy isn’t Trevor. I promise.” Claire was searching the computer a bit more before abruptly stopping. “Oh shit.” Her nails flew over the keys on a mission
“What?”
“I know why he didn’t work yesterday. It was the anniversary”
Everett’s eyes widened as she gestured with her hands, waiting for Claire to spill.
“Of his son’s death.”
Everett’s heart plunged into her stomach. She felt awful. She had spent the last 36 hours cursing Andy in every possible way but she was the one who needed the curse.
“I’m such an asshole. I should have known when or at least had an idea. I knew it happened obviously…” Everett dropped her head into her hands.
“Oh, sweetie. He isn’t mad at you for not remembering. He probably just had a rough day yesterday and will call when he’s in a better headspace.” Claire gave Everett a hug. “Has he talked about Jacob before?”
“Not a lot. If it comes up naturally, he mentions him. I don’t think he’s keeping those memories from me but you are probably right. It’s the first anniversary and I can’t imagine how tough that is to go through.” Everett took a deep breath and stood up. “Thanks, Claire. Sorry for coming here and being a mess.”
“Oh girl, don’t be silly. Go get some coffee. Text your man and let him know you’re there for him when he is ready. Call me later, okay?” Claire gave Everett one more hug.
Everett nodded and turned for the door. “Don’t tell Tony or Dad that I was here.”
Claire winked and blew Everett a kiss.
Everett walked through the Public Garden and found a bench to sit on for a moment. Her mind was racing, worried about Andy and hating herself for spiralling out. None of this had been about her. She wanted Andy to let her in but he wasn’t trying to keep her out. Trevor did that. Everett growled at herself for letting that asshole keep invading her thoughts. She needed to focus on Andy. Claire was right. He was different.
E - I’m so sorry. I forgot that yesterday was the anniversary. If there’s anything I can do, I am here.
Everett didn’t know if Andy would see it but she wanted the message there waiting for him when he did. Her heart hurt for him. Losing a child was always the worst thing to experience, but the way it happened to Andy was beyond tragic. Everett would never understand Laurie’s reasoning for what she did that day.
A crack of thunder brought Everett back to the moment and she started for home. Walking through the Garden and past her favourite Edgar Allen Poe statue with the air turning crisp was exactly what Everett needed to get past the last day and get back into the right headspace. She kept a brisk pace when she started to feel a few raindrops when she was a block from home, making it inside just before the skies opened.
Everett loved a rainstorm and all she could think about was how wonderful it would be to be curled up on the couch, in front of the fire, sipping on tea, and melting into Andy’s arms. Since that wasn’t happening tonight, Everett wanted to at least create the vibes so she lit candles around the main floor and dimmed the lights. She found a lasagna in the freezer so she popped that in the oven. A hearty meal was always perfect for a stormy night. She threw Mr. Malcolm’s List on after she had put on her pajamas and settled in. Andy would still flit into her mind any time something in the movie reminded her of him or something she wanted to tell him. While she was still alone and worried about Andy, this night felt very different from the last.
Everett was in the kitchen making tea and deciding what to watch next when the buzzer rang. It happened so infrequently. Everett usually went out to meet people. She looked towards the door when it buzzed again in rapid succession. Everett went to the speaker and hesitantly pressed the button.
“Hello?”
“I’m so sorry.” The voice was coarse and muffled by the rain but Everett knew.
“Andy?”
“I’m so sorry, Everett.”
Everett started to panic, filled with worry over whatever state Andy was in. She pressed the Enter button to let him in and flung the door open. She ran to the elevator to wait. The old lift creaked and squeaked but at least that meant Andy was on his way up.
As the door slid open, Everett’s heart sank. Andy was wet and looked like he hadn’t slept in days, tears staining his cheeks. She enveloped him in a hug when he stepped out of the elevator and they crumbled to the floor as his weight overpowered her strength.
“Hey. Hey Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay, Daddy.” She peppered him with kisses while he hugged her and sobbed into her shoulder. “Come on. Come inside.”
She did her best to lift him but he managed to stand up mostly on his own. Once inside, Everett locked the door and walked Andy over to the bathroom. Andy didn’t know what her plan was and tried to redirect her.
“No, baby. You are getting in a hot shower to warm up.” She pushed him inside and slowly peeled off his clothes while the water heated. “In you go. I think Tony left some clothes here one time when he crashed after a long night at the office.”
Andy didn’t put up a fight and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash over him. Everett ran up to her closet and dug around until she found her brother’s sweatpants and T-shirt. She set them by the bathroom sink and left Andy in the shower so she could put the kettle back on. She grabbed her dishes and tidied up the couch so they would have a place to talk while the tea steeped. She didn’t really know what to do but she was going to be there however Andy needed.
Just as she was pouring the tea, she heard the water turn off. Andy emerged in the borrowed clothes, his hair damp. He stood behind Everett, wrapped his arms around her waist, and let out a heavy sigh. Everett ran a hand over his arm then turned to kiss him. She gave him a soft smile and then grabbed the two mugs.
“Come. Sit with me.”
Everett covered Andy in an afghan when he sat down and handed him a cup of rooibos. She climbed onto the couch next to him, curling her feet under herself. She didn’t want to push him to talk so she silently sipped her tea.
“I’m so sorry, Evvy. Really,” Andy said with sad eyes.
“There is nothing to apologize for. I promise,” Everett reassured.
“I didn’t mean to disappear. I had such a good time with you on Wednesday and when you invited me up, I damn near came in my pants. I wanted to come up so badly.” Andy shifted around and pulled Everett closer. “Laurie was the one calling me that night and I obviously didn’t want to talk to her. I wanted to go to the cemetery first thing in the morning and talk to Jake and then go to Johnny’s. It was his favourite breakfast place. I wanted to take the day and celebrate him or something. I knew I wouldn’t want to leave you though if I had stayed the night.”
Everett’s jaw dropped and a wave of guilt washed over her.
“I would have made you go. Or I would have gone with you if you wanted. I never want to take away your time with Jake or like time for his memory.” Everett squirmed and tried not to think about Trevor always calling her needy and a time-suck.
“Oh, Evvy. No. That's not what I meant. And thank you.” Andy kissed Everett’s forehead then set down his tea. He grabbed her tea and placed it on the coffee table as well then grabbed her by the hips and pulled her into his lap.
“This was the first anniversary and I didn’t know what to expect. I was trying to keep it together at Jake’s grave and then Laurie showed up and caused a scene. She doesn’t seem to understand that I hate her and that she killed our son. It’s unforgivable.” He shook his head thinking about his ex-wife and Everett wiped the tears that had snuck down his cheek. “We fought and I left, got in the car and just started driving. I was mad and sad and without even realizing it, I had driven to my cabin. Service is spotty up there so I couldn’t call you. I ended up just sitting and staring at the lake for two days. Your message managed to come through when it was starting to rain and all I knew was that I needed to be with you.”
Everett smiled and kissed Andy but this time, he held it long. It wasn’t a comfort kiss but was filled with passion. His hands ran up and down her back as he moaned lightly into her mouth. Despite his desire, Andy knew this wasn’t the time and pulled his head back. He stared into Everett’s eyes and felt his whole body relax. She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, straightening out his still-damp locks.
“Would you tell me about him?” Everett asked with a catch in her throat.
Andy’s eyes lit up and he hugged Everett. “Of course.”
Everett settled into Andy’s lap and rested her head on his shoulder as he began to talk. The lightness returned to Andy’s voice. The deep sadness had not left but had been set aside for some happiness.
Andy started with Jacob as a little kid and how silly he was. By the time he had reached the teens, Everett had fallen asleep, her breathing too steady to be awake. Andy smiled as he maneuvered her into his arms to carry her up to the bedroom. Once he had her tucked in, he went downstairs to clean up their mugs and make sure the candles were out and the lights were off. He paused for a moment by the window and watched the rain. It hadn’t let up but it calmed him now.
Andy went up to join Everett in bed, doing his best not to wake her as he crawled in. She instinctively rolled over and cuddled into his chest. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. Right as he was about to drift off, Everett lifted her head.
“Wait. You have a cabin?”
Andy couldn’t help but laugh, shaking both of them. “Yes, baby. I’ll tell you about it in the morning.”
Tags - @buck-i-stan
Chapter 6
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