Transformers Excerpts: When Sparky Met Minnie
(This is a gift for Dearg. Their version of Sparkplug who is reimagined as a becoming a Sweep which is also a Cybertronian wolfman of some kind for context.)
At the second level of Maccadam's establishment which is the cafe and bakery, many workers are there for their coffee and lunchbreak...
Carmen: Here. One black coffee with a lamington. Sparkplug: Thanks, Carmen...? Sniff, sniff? Oh, woof. Uh, Carmen, I hate to complain, but I think you gave me the wrong one. This lamington doesn't have any jam. Carmen: Oh! Sorry... Minerva: I think she gave me yours by mistake, sir. I asked for a lamington with no jam. Sparkplug: Heh. Innocent mistake and easily fixed *they exchange plates* Minerva: You're the first person I've met who eats them other than me. Sparkplug: To be honest, I'm surprised they aren't MORE popular. I mean, it's a cake dipped in silver. Best idea ever, woof. Minerva: My grandkids and I would agree. Sparkplug: Woof?! Minerva: ??? Sparkplug: Pardon me, it's just that... you look awfully young to be a grandmother. Then again, I became a grandpa young, woof. Minerva: *smiles*...? Say, you have... white eyes. Are you by any chance, Sparkplug? Sparkplug: Woof? *checks his ID*... Why yes I am *they both laugh* Minerva: You're very grounded for a celebrity. I mean, you hang out in a place like this. Sparkplug: A place like this is great to hang out at, woof. They make the best coffee. And lamingtons. Minerva: No argument there. I'm Minerva by the way *they shake hands* Oh! Sparkplug: *looks sheepish* Uh... pardon the paws, whine. Minerva: Oh, it's not that. Not entirely. You have a very firm grip. Sparkplug: Really? *smiles wide* A few months later...
Daniel: *is sitting on the large desk* So she's got four dogs? Sparkplug: Mm-hmm. A pompomeranian, a yellow cab, a doberman Porsha and a carthound. She's also a grandmother of three, a former engineer gone retiree, loves to garden, camp, rock climb and travel. She's also funny, smart and cute- Daniel: Your tail is wagging, grandpa *he chuckles* Sparkplug: Oh! Woof... *blushes* Daniel: So is she your girlfriend? Sparkplug: Yeah. She is. Spike: *chokes on his drink* What?! Sparkplug: Woof? Daniel: Dad? Spike: Dad! You can't have a girlfriend! It's inappropriate! Sparkplug:... How? I'm a widower. Have been for year and I ain't seein' nobody else, woof. Daniel: Yeah, dad. What's wrong with grandpa having a girlfriend? She sounds nice. Spike: Dad, you're OLD! You're not supposed to be dating! Sparkplug:.................. Arf, excuse you? Spike: Old people aren't supposed to date! It's weird and kind of gross! Daniel: *scratches his head* Why, dad? What's so gross about it? I mean, some old people get married. Spike: Daniel, it's disgusting! Doing activities like that is inappropriate! Old people are supposed to act their age! Dating, marriage and stuff like that is NOT for them! Sparkplug: Says who? And what AM I supposed to do in my old age, Spike? Wait around to die? Spike: You're supposed to... do quiet stuff like watch game shows, stay indoors and knit and stuff. Daniel:... Dad, a lot of young people do that. Why old people do what the stuff young people do if it makes them happy and doesn't hurt anyone? Spike: Because it's INAPPROPRIATE!! Sparkplug: Grr, WHY is in inappropriate, woof? Because we don't look as sexy in your opinion when we do it? Because the idea of an elderly person living it up more than you hurts your ego, so instead of changing, it's easier to force us to do nothing productive like you, Spike? Spike:... I didn't say that. Sparkplug: Spike, when you use the "inappropriate" card like instead of giving a smart argument, that's exactly what you're saying. I hear people use it all the time for all kinds of stuff they don't approve of when it doesn't concern them. Daniel:... Dad, it's what people said about a friend of mine at school Josie Miller who has two dads. And I can tell it hurts her. Spike: Daniel, one day, you'll understand. Sparkplug: I think he understands it all just fine right now, woof. Anyway, she's coming over, so don't embarrass me for once, Spike. Spike: I don't approve of this! Sparkplug: I don't care. I have a girlfriend. Man up and deal with it. Daniel:... Dad, isn't your boss old and has like... five girlfriends? And you think he's cool because of it. Why can't grandpa even have one? Sparkplug: !! How does Daniel know stuff like this? Spike: Um... Don't change the subject! Sparkplug: Ok, fine. Why is it ok for your boss to date five women, but I can't date one? Spike:................................. Because......... I know you and it affects me. Sparkplug: How? Daniel: Dad, are you afraid that grandpa is gonna get married? Sparkplug: Arf *blushes* Spike: *looks bitter at the thought of that* Sparkplug:... Are you jealous?! Spike:... Sparkplug: *gets in his face* Listen to me very carefully, Spike. Despite it being your own fault that you're divorced twice and stink at serious relationships, I feel for you. I'm your dad after all, but as your dad, let me give you some hard truths, you are acting like a crab in a bucket which is something wimps do. Daniel: Crab in a bucket, grandpa? Sparkplug: It's when you force or blackmail the people around you even emotionally into lower themselves or staying in the same bad place you're in as a cheap, lazy and easy way to feel better about yourself instead of improving yourself like a real man. *turns back to Spike* Point is, in this family, we do NOT act like crabs in a bucket and I'd better not EVER hear of you acting like one to Daniel over there. You got that, grrr? Spike: *nods fast looking scared*