Dear Future Boyfriend – Are You a Pro or a Con for my life?
One of the rechargeable batteries in my Nintendo Wii is broken. Or the remote is broken. I don’t know, I’m not an electrician (although I don’t think they specialize in Nintendo products, but it is electrical right. After all I do have to plug it in). I’m also not a gamer (a real one would probably laugh at my first-generation Wii, but what do you expect from a girl who prefers board games and Yahtzee to Game of Thrones or Call of Duty or whatever it’s called. MurderFest) so now I’m stuck playing solo. Which is fine since technically I am solo. And it’s kind of hard to play doubles on Wii Tennis as a solo artist. Not impossible, but trust it requires foot and hand coordination from all four limbs simultaneously and to be honest, all of that running back and forth is just exhausting. So, I just continue to use my ONE reliable controller. But then this “one” thing led me to notice my other “ones” in my house… One set of keys at the door. One wine glass on the counter. One side of the bed to make. One plate in my sink. One-One-One… Don’t panic Future Boyfriend, I’m okay. This isn’t the beginning of some sad note about how it took you forever to find me and I’m now going to off myself. Don’t be dramatic, I have a dog to live for. Honestly, I only really noticed these things after being trapped inside my home for 3 weeks. And had I not run the battery life out in my dominate Wii controller, I never would have known it’s backup was on the fritz. And then, I never would have begun questioning how after all of these years of being freaking awesome am I still solo? And is that a good or a bad thing? Like have I actually won, but don’t know? Is two really better than one? Especially if “two” has a manufacture’s defect?
See I’ve spent so long anticipating how great my life will be when you show up Future Boyfriend, that I never considered, what if it’s not. Like what if I find you and you’re on the fritz too. Here I am thinking I got a perfectly good Future Boyfriend, just ready and willing to play with me at any given time and bam your battery won’t charge. Calm down Future Boyfriend, it’s a metaphor… don’t be so literal. Well unless your battery doesn’t charge for me. Like what if we fit together on all levels, but we’re lacking in passion. That would be tragic. But let’s not focus on that. I know my Future Boyfriend is passionate. I’m passionate, have you seen me watch a Michigan Football game? I love hard, I go 150%, I barely sleep because I’m too busy winning at life… and after multiple failed years, here I am still searching for you. That should count for something. I’m still optimistic that my Mr. Right is right around the corner. So yeah, I am the definition of passion. A bland person could never be my Future Boyfriend. But wait… what if other things don’t align? Like my resume is pretty dope. I’m career oriented, but what if you’re a dreamer, without focus. Ugh. I dated that guy. And here I am still single. Clearly that doesn’t work. Or what if you don’t drink? Because I love wine. And although a built-in designated driver seems like a match made in heaven I’ll never get to take a romantic getaway with you to wine country where we’ll take a train and go tasting and eating and laughing and fall even harder in love. Because I’m romantical… what if you’re not romantical or a horrible communicator because I love to talk especially about my feelings… and yours. Like tell me you like me… all the time. Not just because I’m a girl and we like that stuff (and it’s super important if you don’t want said girl to be insecure and needy and annoying), but because I don’t like surprises… well not true I like good ones like flowers and gifts and just because gestures, but not bad ones. I don’t like bad ones. Like when my ex dumped me on the way out for his morning jog. Not a good surprise. That’s me getting blindsided. That’s tragic. And I don’t want tragedy for our love story. So Future Boyfriend if you are a practical, dry, mute, stoic, dreamer who enjoys blindsiding women… Stay where you are, I’d rather stay single. But the optimist in me says that would never be true. That guy would never be you Future Boyfriend. And although I’ve mastered being solo, I still haven’t given up on that doubles’ match. A good partner could change everything, but if you're a work in progress, worse case, I’ll at least have someone to taunt while I’m winning.
Xo,
Mix