If you want to see my response to your post, it's on my blog. If not, that's fine. It's up to you at this point.
Thank you, I read it. And here is my response:
Okay, it’s obvious that if the two at the end of their discussion, can’t come to an agreement, the woman would always have the final say. But it’s wrong, to leave the man out of the equation totally. Remember, this is not just a lump of flesh that is being thrown away, it’s a part of a woman, and it’s a part of the man. You’re both essentially throwing away someone who would have grown to be an extension of both yourselves. To me, that’s big. But then again, I might be too old fashioned for you feminists. Also, excuse you for making “pregnancy” seem like such a horrible thing that life has cursed women with. Some women would give anything to be able to have children.
Whatever you think pregnancy is, it’s categorically NOT EASY. It’s a great thing that keeps humanity going, but aphids give birth — it’s no miracle. And it takes a toll on the body that no person who can’t get pregnant can ever understand fully. Sure, even I know it’s tough, but do I know what it’s like to have something kicking inside of me, getting me sick, possibly compromising my health? Hell fucking no.
And you are free to believe whatever you want about what say the man gets, but you do NOT get to tell feminists (or anyone) that it’s WRONG if they don’t because it’s their body. You can give your man all the say you want — but that hardly gives ground to criticize feminists. They want women to have complete control over their own bodies — you don’t have to want that for yourself, but are you seriously going to fight against the right for other women to have their autonomy?
And this statement shows just how sexist you are, because you garaun-fucking-tee, that the man doesn’t care about the baby growing in side this woman, as much as she does. You are sexist, because you don’t believe that this man’s life is changing too.
Let’s be clear: there’s no way to be sexist toward men. Men might experience prejudice, but by and large, it’s from other men and not nearly as harmful or dangerous as what women experience. Men are not systematically oppressed in a way that is equal to, or merits sharing a category with, actual sexism.
And sure, the man’s life might be changing — but not to the same extent. Do you know how many men walk away? Do you know how many single mothers are on welfare because their partners walk away? The stats are not on your side here, my friend. When someone has to carry something IN THEIR BODY, I kind of think across the board that logic follows that they care just a LITTLE more and have to be just a LITTLE more conscious of it because THEY ARE THE ONE EXPERIENCING IT. Men don’t carry the babies, and even in a conservative point of view that I kind of detest, people agree that women bond with the idea of their child when they decide to keep it — and men do when they SEE the child and HOLD it. Big. Fucking. Difference.
Noone says that the woman should be forced, but at the same time, without a man, you, me and everyone else would not exist. I think you’re forgetting that fact. And I resent the fact that you compare pregnancy to hell, that he’s somehow forcing her to keep or discard a fetus by asking to have a say in the matter.
Yeah, and YOU’RE forgetting that without a woman, you and me and everyone else wouldn’t exist, either. So what? Both are needed, I get that. But does that mean both get equal say? No. Hell fucking no. Because once that part of his job is done, the dude can bounce — and often does. The woman’s choice is not that simple, not by a long shot.
Having a say in the matter.. Sure, if they were a committed couple and we lived in a perfect world, they could talk about it — they SHOULD talk about it. But once she decides she doesn’t want to keep it, end of story. That’s what feminists want. Control over their own bodies.
If the man is intent on trying to convince the woman to keep the baby, then obviously he’ll want to do everything in his power to make sure that this baby is well taken care. And I have researched feminism, but I’m quite tired of blasting the NAFALT card. Take it how you want it. But if you think a man’s worth as it relates to a pregnancy is little to none, then you are just all different shades, colors and textures of shit.
Again, the numbers just don’t support that. But even if they did, it’s still not up to him. He can want the baby all he wants but if she doesn’t — end of the road. She has to carry it and she has to deliver it and she has to change up a LOT more shit in her life than him (which includes risking her life and let’s not treading lightly on that fact). A man’s worth in terms of pregnancy is in how he supports his partner’s choice — because he is not experiencing the pregnancy. A man worth his salt will do what his partner wants to do and, sure, he may not agree with the decision but he’s got to understand it’s not his to make. I’m a man, and I get that because why would I want to exact control over someone else just to get what I want? If I pressured a woman into having the child because people like you think I should have a say — what kind of mother do I think she would be? A resentful one? A neglectful one? One who experiences postpartum depression because she didn’t want to have the child deep down but did it because ‘men should have a say’? Awesome environment to raise a child in.
If you want to criticize feminists (or the movement) for excluding women of color, I’m all about it. If you want to criticize them for excluding trans people or gender/sexual minorities, I’m all about it. But if you want to criticize feminists — members of a movement that was literally built to empower ALL TYPES OF WOMEN — because they aren’t catering to the needs of men (who by and fucking large experience fantastically more amounts of privilege and resources and rights) then I think you’re in the wrong century.