#de:code:sep20

[rkhongjoong]

     ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━        M!COUNTDOWN, ENDING STAGE  .        ━━━

it’s oddly not that difficult to train his eyes to catch the camera.  

at this point, hongjoong knows all too well that de:code won’t be getting their first win with can you feel it.  it doesn’t really hurt his feelings; they managed to come far and place second on a music show and for him, that’s growth.  the ending stages of music shows still hold meaning  -  just because they aren’t in the limelight while the top contenders for the win are announced, doesn’t mean that the cameras aren’t on them.  today, hongjoong’s expression is just for the fans  -  at least, until he hears that convex has had their third win with don’t wanna cry.

his attention immediately turns to the group and he can’t help the smile that radiates from his expression.  hyun looks baffled this time, and hongjoong has to hold a snort back.  at this point, it should be expected  -  convex is rather popular, and don’t wanna cry is an amazing song.  what it must feel like to win.  

as the song begins to play, marking the beginning of convex’s encore, hongjoong makes a move to follow the rest of de:code off the stage.  he isn’t expecting, though, the tug on his arm and he almost trips over his own feet when he looks at hyun incredulously.  hongjoong knows he probably shouldn’t ask him what the hell he’s doing, but being dragged back to the stage is more than a little confusing.

he decides to go with it.

after all, they finally got to a point in both of their careers that they can actually stand on the same stage together  -  even if it’s not as part of the same group.  they can both have a little fun, can’t they? hongjoong doesn’t think there’s any harm in it.

when the note marking the point dance sounds, he falls in line with hyun to dance along to their choreography.  he’s been fascinated by the complicated motions and the way they stay in sync, and he’s even more surprised that he’s actually keeping up with the others in spite of never practicing with them to begin with.  hyun looks surprised  -  probably an act, considering he knows hongjoong’s dancing history.  he sticks his tongue out and bites down on it gently, as if he’s the winner of this little challenge.

part of him wonders if he should stay, but hyun doesn’t let him leave, even when they’re no longer dancing.  he keeps his arm locked tight around hongjoong’s shoulders, and hongjoong just sways in time with hyun’s beat.  this is what they’ve been working towards.  this is how far they’ve come.

it makes his heart swell.

[rkkangjoon]

.pitcher

@rkhongjoong

how exciting. getting to attend a baseball match for their promotions. of course, kang joon was aware that they were there for work, but he couldn’t help but being excited about being a part of a sports game. at least entertainment wise. activity wise would have been a different story, though who knows if they might have a chance to be players in the future sometime. for the public eye they were to perform their new song “can you feel it?” as well as their debut song “gorilla” and while he was glad to finally be on stage again, his mind was drifting away.

squinting at hongjoong, he mustered the younger male for a moment, as they were preparing for the upcoming stage. the match didn’t start yet, but after hearing how nox would have the honor to throw the first pitch, he felt slightly envious. that was really cool and it somehow fit the other.

with a grin, he came up to his fellow group member and nudged his side slightly. “hey, here we are again, waiting for our stage, huh?” he came closer to whisper into the other man’s ear. “how about it? shall we make the thing a tradition before going onstage? does our lovely pitcher want a little smooch, before he throws the first ball?”

[rkhongjoong]

                    ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━        FIRST PITCH  .        ━━━

there’s more riding on this pitch than just potential embarrassment in front of his fans.

when he heard about the opportunity, the first thing he did was text his father to check on his schedule.  he didn’t let on about his opportunity, wanting his dad instead to be surprised when he realized it was his son throwing the first pitch of the evening.  hongjoong wanted him to be proud that he was popular enough to even make it there, he wanted him to be proud when he saw him pitch and perform and announce his own son’s name at the game.

it’s not just his pride as an idol on the line, riding on this pitch.  it’s his pride as a son, too.

thankfully, hongjoong doesn’t find himself too nervous.  after all, his father basically made him hold a baseball the minute he could even grip his hand around one and although the sport wasn’t really his thing  -  throwing the ball was something he got pretty good at.  especially because it was a way for him to spend time with his dad, when he was often working with his older sister instead.

today, he just wants to make him proud.  today, he wants to know that his father is sitting in the commentator’s box with his voice swelling with pride for the son he saw on the field.  hongjoong isn’t exactly blind.  he knows that his father would have wanted at least one of his kids to play baseball.

it’s something that he always felt bad about.

when he’s on the mound, he stares down the line at the umpire and the catcher, eyes narrowed in concentration.  from this point, the distance seems long but hongjoong has at least a little bit of confidence in himself.  he’s his father’s son, after all.  he always said his dad was the best at baseball  -  for a minute, he can be, too.  at least enough to throw a pitch.

with that thought, he winds up with a deep breath.  the posture seems familiar and as the ball releases from his fingers, he wills it to reach the catcher’s mitt.  the crack of the leather tells him that he’s done it, and his eyes immediately find the commentator’s box above the stands.

it’s a wide smile that he greets his father with.  be proud of me too, dad.

[rkkangjoon]

ROYALs WHITE LOTUS & DE:CODEs VICI September 2020 Schedule Arirang Simply K-Pop

every stage to perform on, was a special stage. even now, that they have been able to collect some experience on different stages, kang joon still liked the rush of adrenaline in his body, shortly before entering the stage. he liked how his whole body and his mind was only focused on what was bound to happen next and even the hard pumping of the heart in his chest wouldn't take him off it. it was an exhilarating feeling, nothing else felt the same, felt more right, made him conscious about how alive he was right now. despite all the hardships they went through every day, the busy schedule or the hard training and practices, everything vanished within seconds, as soon as he was up there.

maybe kang joon was still blinded by the fact that he indeed reached his dream, when for the longest part of his life, he was wondering what he was actually good for. maybe his feelings would change over the time, when they stopped being rookies, when they started to adapt well into the business and became big names after all. but for now, all the blood, sweat and tears they have put into their dreams had been absolutely worth, as soon as he heard the cheers, the glittering eyes at their sight and the big smiles on everyone's lips, wherever he looked.

he wasn't too sure how long this phase, this part of his life would last, as he was still prone to think how he was fated to live in struggles. he wasn't too sure how long until he would return to that miserable state, he still found himself in from time to time, how long until the loneliness would take him back into it's life-sucking embrace. but until then, he decided to enjoy it all. enjoy looking into their fans and supporters eyes, do his best to offer a enjoyable performance and live up to everything he had ever dreamt of. things could be rough at times, but that wouldn't stop himself from being vici and be victorious over the struggles.

[rkhongjoong]

                   ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━        NOX SOLO VLIVE  .        ━━━

his vlive this time seems to be going well.  “ mm .. what?”  his eyes scan the comments quickly, tilting his head.  “ what do you mean there’s someone behind me?” hongjoong pretends to play along, eyes wide as he turns his head from one side to the other, but he gives away his lack of fear when he starts to laugh with a too - wide grin.  “ are you playing tricks on me? you know i don’t scare easily ...”  his smile turns mischievous and the comments are coming at a faster rate.  “ you’re going to have to try a little harder than that.”

playing around with the fans like this just because he has a little bit of spare time is exhilarating.  it’s nice to be able to just talk, to answer questions, to be the idol that they want him to be.  “ show you my nails?” his eyes pick up on a question, and he lifts up his pinkie.  that’s all he has painted for today, an orange that matches the colour of his hair.  “ what do you think -?”

the comments are all so rapid fire though, that hongjoong can’t realistically keep up with everything.  especially not when he wants to talk on his own, aside from picking out some fan requests and questions.  today, he puts on music and it just so happens that someone else asked him what he’s listening to lately.  “ i really like don’t wanna cry lately ~~” he hums along with the beat and at one particular part, he drops to his knees on the floor and does the complicated searching motion with his hands.  “ did you know? hyun told me that he calls this the ‘ searching for glasses’ move -” at this, hongjoong laughs, brushing his hand through his hair as he stands back up with a little hop.  “ oh.  yeah, hyun and i have been best friends for years -”

when the questions start taking a turn, hongjoong wags his finger.  “ hey, hey.  i can’t tell you all my secrets  -  let’s get to know each other slowly, okay?”

after all, de:code and their fans  -  they’re bound to be together for a long time.

[rkwon]

another night’s sleep.

september 29th, 2020: ‘can you feel it?’ last stage at mtv the show.

it’s cliché to say but it feels like it’s all over far too quickly. it’s probably the almost zero sleep and the constant driving from schedule to schedule, but the month blurs into one long day before his eyes. september might have been merely a week and he wouldn’t have noticed, though it hardly matters. it’s good to be back promoting, and it’s good to finish at some point because, as much as he loves performing, it’s healthy for the body and the mind to take breaks. 

( besides, surely everyone would get sick of them being on their televisions constantly all year round, too. ) 

fatigue is well and truly etched into every muscle and bone in his body by now, but he tries not to let it ruin his energy. it’s one last performance, one last ending smile just in case they pan to him, one last chance to tug in another viewer to look out for them next time. the very last of his strength is a small price to pay to make a good impression. after all, it won’t be long until they’ll be done here, and when they are, then he can rest. then he can take the time he needs to recuperate and recover. it’s certainly a smaller shock to the system the second time around than when they debuted — he at least knew what kind of tiredness to expect; the type that weighs down your shoulders, like you’re carrying around a backpack full of bricks. he heaves out a sigh of relief when they exit the stage for the final time, his hand a little tingly from all the waving goodbye. 

it’d be easier to just fall into the first bed he comes across when they all shove through the door to their dorm at the end of the day, but he forces himself to stay awake until he can shower, clean all the sweat from his body and feel fresh and clean amongst his sheets. there’s only a day left in the month and he doesn’t doubt that in the first week of october, they’ll have something else lined up to get stuck into. plans have likely already been set in motion before they started this comeback, so it’s only a matter of time no matter what, but he’ll enjoy the freedom while it lasts — and most importantly, the sleep. 

[rkwon]

load the bases.

september 13th, 2020: performing at a baseball game.

truthfully, won has no interest in the sport. basketball in high school was probably the full distance won could stretch to, given that his boyfriend was his star player. baseball, however, he doesn’t know a thing about, but to be here feels strangely like an honour, so he’ll continue to believe it to feed his pride for the group. if he can say de:code performed at a baseball game with enough conviction, maybe he’ll make it sound impressive all on his own. 

regardless, it’s nice to perform somewhere with seemingly infinite space. after seeing so many idols fall off stages and slip on wet surfaces over the years, an open field seems like the safest place for them, even if it is a little cold. their stylists don’t wrap them up in any extra layers but he can’t say he’s surprised; as an idol, image and appearance matters far more than whether won’s a little susceptible to the bitter wind whipping through his shirt or not. if he’s lucky, one of his members will donate a coat to him once they’re in the cars to go home, or better yet, the driver will stick the heaters on. but for now, he tries to ignore how his hands shake when the familiar music starts, begs his voice not to tremble when his lines roll around. 

performing ‘can you feel it?’ is second nature now, but ‘gorilla’ is a refreshing touch. he prefers their comeback song to their debut, but he’s learnt to like it more after taking a break from listening to it on repeat to — what felt like — no end. he’s sure he’ll feel the same way about this track by the end of the month, and then again at christmas once he’s cycled through the same routine, but maybe that’s for the best. maybe he’ll grow to love each of their songs more as they add to the roster. it must get awfully frustrating performing the same one or two songs all the time. 

he’s out of breath by the time they finish both, the cold seeping into his bones. yet, when the game starts, he doesn’t feel it quite as strongly, the bodies close by him sharing a little of their warmth and mingyu’s careful eyes on him to wrap an arm around him each time he shivers. it’s only september, though, so he dreads to imagine what it’ll be nice once the weather truly turns bitter. 

however, baseball, he decides, isn’t as boring as he’d thought it would be. he still doesn’t understand the rules, nor when to cheer or boo, but it’s more entertaining than he’d expected. he’s not likely to be picking it up himself any time soon, though. 

[rkwon]

tattletale.

september 5th, 2020: de:code at cultwo show.

if won had to choose, of all the extra activities they do for promotions, radio shows are his favourite. at first, he’d seen them as an added worry — you’re relying so hard on the things you say to be entertaining and draw listeners in. however, as they visit a wider variety of shows, radio and television, he realises that the former is the least undignified of them all. 

won isn’t the funniest person in the world. his stories are often told with a firm tone, as if he’s reciting a paragraph from a cue card rather than the happiest parts of his memory. his taste in jokes is bad puns, animal videos you’d see in the dead of night on television just to fill the time before regular programming comes back on at sunrise. but he’s better at telling a boring story than he is at doing push-ups with another member on his back ( rather, he can’t do it at all ) or making his way through an assault course. he’d rather be laughed at for being a little awkward than because he never had the physical strength to lift another human being with relative ease or kick a ball into a goal. it leaves less of a bruise on his confidence to just be shy. 

it’s not the only schedule lined up today, but it’s a welcomed break ( and the first of the promotion cycle ) amongst long days at music shows. cultwo show prides itself on its interesting candid tales from hosts and guests, so he’s never a perfect fit for this either, but he rattles off a time someone rested their head on his thigh for ‘just a moment’ to catch their breath and ended up falling asleep, or the time he almost got lost on the way back from the bathroom at a music show just after debut. it’s a good time, just laughing and talking about their new album and the process of making every aspect of it. it’s easy to talk about the things he knows, the professional experiences he’s lived only just recently. the tension seeps out of his shoulders in a heavy, content sigh not long after they’ve started, his heart light and his smile serene and small. 

radio shows, he could definitely get used to.