#dear kyle

[spectranulla]

were you a beautiful thing turned ugly / or just the ordinary made extraordinary for a while?

[justanothasimblr]

WILL BE UP TOMORROW :) *INCLUDES HUGE PLOT TWIST*

[nemophile]

Dear Kyle,

Yesterday out of nowhere I got over your uncle Nathan. I'm not totally sure how or why it happened, but I will tell you that I'm grateful, and I know at least partially it was thanks to you. Someday you're going to fall in love; maybe even more than once. I hope you aren't afraid. I hope the scrapes you may get on your heart don't turn to scars. Your uncle Nathan and I are fine now, more fine than we have been in a while. You know, even when I was feeling helpless and worthless, thinking of you is what got me through. I just kept thinking that I had to keep going, because my life couldn't possibly be complete before I got to know you and see you smile. I can't guarantee you a daddy. And as you get this message maybe it's just you, me, and Moony. Maybe there are a few of you, and a dog or two as well. I don't know. But I'll give all that I have to make you happy, okay? I hope that's enough. At the end of the day, you're my sky and everything in it. Love always, Josephine Parvin

[saturntoke]

youre going to meet people who change your life

some for the better

some for the worse

some will teach you to appreciate, appreciate the shadows cast at twilight, and whenever the sun is just at the right point where everything is a silhouette, you will think of her

some will teach you to wonder, and every time you find yourself caught up in the appearance of a stranger you will think of how many ways you could have treated him better

and some, a few some, will consume you entirely - they will teach you a number of things, things that you will one day forget. you will one day realize why they did the things you did. this realization, the realization that they are a great deal wiser than you, will bring you comfort when you need it most

one day, you are going to cry because you are happy and these are the things you are going to realize:

you will not always be sad

you will learn to forgive yourself

you will keep on living

[modern-day-minstrel]

So, I feel I should formally apologize. I've been far too passive-aggressive and overly personal on social media lately about the incident I've been dealing with and given that this is all available to basically anyone who wants to read it--and that the internet is much smaller than I'd like to believe--I am deeply sorry to anyone I've unintentionally ensnared in the matter or who I may have upset or misrepresented. From now on I'll be keeping my reactions and responses to myself and hopefully no damage has been done that is irreparable. In the extremely unlikely event that You are reading this, I apologize for publicizing what should probably have remained ours and ours alone to deal with in our own private spheres. Not that you have any continued investment in anything I do or say, but if our roles were reversed, I think I'd probably want more discretion. I'm sorry.

No, nothing spurred this or caused this reaction, simply my own conscience bothering me for whatever reason tonight. Stay lovely, friends.

[modern-day-minstrel]

We watched one of your favorite shows tonight.

Our friend suggested it, I think in part to cheer me up, and I didn't have the heart to tell him why it hurt. I couldn't explain that I heard your laughter in the overture and saw your smile in the credits, that every song and dance was set to your commentary on a night we cradled red paper cups in the light of the interstate lamps and talked as we always did over Starbucks and soundtracks in the moments either of us needed an excuse to escape or a pretense for company. I know which ones were your favorite songs, of course, and I still can't help but think you and he would have been hilarious Producers, and though I'm not Swedish or beautiful I'd have gladly sang and laughed right along.

There are so many jokes I want to tell you, harmonies I want to sing, moments I want to share. I set up a phrase between the two of us and wait for your punchline, but then I remember our trio is gone. It isn't just me you walked out on, you know.

You took so much more away from me than just yourself.

And losing that was hard enough.

[modern-day-minstrel]

The worst kind of people

Aren't the ones who spite you and curse you

Or the ones who kill you slowly with venom and isolation

Not the ones who ignore you

Or bore you

Or bite you with weapons and actions and words

The worst kind of people

Are the ones who slip quietly into your life

Who entangle themselves with the things you love

Slipping easily into every memory

Every precious moment

Like the song on your bedtime playlist--

the one that backtracked your laughter in the passenger seat of a car one careless afternoon

The one they sang along to under their breath

Never daring more than a whisper that only barely told you their voice was every bit as beautiful as their smile--

Or the movie you fell in love with--

Because you fell in love with the man in it

At the same time you fell in love with the man next to you

And you didn't realize either until it was over--

Or the color red--

Or the easy silence between sips of coffee--

Or the TV show you never finished--

Until one day you realize they're all of your favorite things

And when they leave you,

They leave you with nothing.

Because all of it belongs to their memory

And all of it

hurts.

[modern-day-minstrel]

Everything hurts.