a blunt passed : smoke clouds his vision, and julian falls back into the couch. it is softer than his own. more expensive too. although he figures just about everything in this room alone could pay for their mortgage. and then some. it makes her an unlikely companion. but not impossible. after everything they’d gone through—the good and the bad (mostly bad)—friendship sprouted like spring flowers in the cracks of pavement. so, there he was. in her living room where he wasn’t supposed to be, getting high when he wasn’t supposed to be.
alden wished she had a better excuse for being a recluse other than it being a preference, but she didn’t. it’s why she could count all of her friends on one hand –– hell, one finger. that was just the way she liked it, though that didn’t mean everyone understood it. after all, most people her age were out living their lives to the fullest while she ... she was pessimistic. persistently so.
“ i’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now. ”
he had other friends. okay, he had three. but the point still stood : julian had other options. and when the clock strikes midnight, and then slides into quarter past, he can choose whoever. realistically he should’ve chosen tucking in for the night. realistically he should’ve chosen someplace else to go, too. because at twelve thirty he’s outside the larsen residence, pebbles in hand and a window aimed for. miss. another miss. a third miss to really drive it home, and then … window sill. getting somewhere now. the fifth strikes bullseye and it only takes two more for the window to slide open. yeah, he’d definitely been asleep.
STARTER FOR PIPPA ESPINA / @deathdoors ! ( for the 2011 puli stans )
it’d been WEEKS, and julian was no closer to a conclusion. about chelsea, about kendall, about pippa — god, when did his life get so complicated ? if cancer didn’t kill him then surely this quadruple would. he was convinced of it. and with two ex - girlfriends avoided ( and with good reason ), he’s left with little perspective besides his own. then again, there was somebody… one person he could trust to give it to him straight : the harsh, unfiltered truth. before a door can be slammed in his face, he shimmies a clear bag out of his hoodie and lifts another hand in surrender.
odette was not OUTDOORSY —— teenage years spent on the streets did not a nature lover make … possibly because nights had not been slept beneath starry skies but rather concrete ceilings. either way odette rosilio was a city girl : through and through, with no ifs and no buts …
❛ we should go camping. ❜
she was ballsy, though. bold to the point of stupidity, and the suggestion proves it. another chip tossed into her mouth, she redirects her attention from the television screen to emma phillips. movie of the night : jaws. the sequel.
❛ have you ever gone camping before ? it looks fun. ❜
IT WASN’T EASY FOR HER EITHER. this time around, chelsea had gotten the brunt of their friends’ rockbottom… but before that, the clean - up duty had been all hers. it was a TURMOIL, atop of a life already in shambles, that she hadn’t needed, yet it’d been thrust upon her irregardless. pippa was her friend, an emphasis on was being put despite kevin’s attempt at neutrality. if chelsea forgave her then that was hers, something kevin could never begin to take away… but this was kevin’s. THIS : the choice to move out, the choice to cut chords ( slowly and then all at once ), and the choice to be sat there now —— sweater - paws pulled over always freezing hands, and listen. she doesn’t owe her this. it’d taken a long time for kevin to realise as much. she doesn’t owe her a moment to explain, but she hands it over nonetheless because she’s KEVIN : who believes in second chances and redemption and all other synonymous for making amends. although these days, she wasn’t too sure she believed in it for pippa.
❛ you get five minutes. ❜ before i go back inside to our friend. my friend. before the door closes and i lock it behind me as i go…
WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO RAISE THEIR VOICE? obviously miss poop. juli hasn’t raised his voice in his life… that’s no joke. can really only recall ONE fight he’s ever had with somebody. like, emotionally. he’s always fighting for the laffs.
WHO THREATENS TO LEAVE BUT NEVER ACTUALLY DOES? pippa again. she’d be way too obsessed with the last word, and you know him… never shuts the fuck up. they’d be going back and forth all night.
WHO ACTUALLY KEEPS THEIR WORD AND LEAVES? julian. he’s not really a towel thrower but like, when a man has had enough...
WHO TRASHES THE HOUSE? pippa would throw a hissy fit and break multiple vases. those were expensive bitch. you better venmo his mommy right now.
DO EITHER OF THEM GET PHYSICAL? she might slap him. maybe. does she have the balls? somebody’s got to.
HOW OFTEN DO THEY ARGUE/DISAGREE? every god damn day. over everything. agreeing is for SUCKERS.
WHO IS THE FIRST TO APOLOGISE? julian. obviously. he’s doing it right now in our thread that you refuse to reply to.
SEX
WHO IS ON TOP? i don’t think pippa likes to get down and dirty in missionary soooo… ya make a wild guess.
WHO IS ON THE BOTTOM? * ladybird vc * who’s on top their first time?!
WHO HAS THE STRANGEST DESIRES? pippa. she fucked her babysitter slash principal. that was mad weird. funny how juli knows about that and STILL choose to knock boots. he must be confident in her weekly planned parenthood check - ups.
ANY KINKS? enthusiastic consent on his part. duh. pippa seems to be VERY into pegging. sounds like she fetishizes homosexual men to me. larry much? big yikes.
WHO’S MORE DOMINANT IN BED? we like a girl who knows what she wants. no, genuinely… he does. it’s hot.
IS HEAD EVER IN THE EQUATION? juli be eating that wap like its a five course meal followed up by a midnight snack. she slobbers on that dick like its a popsicle stick.If so, who is better at performing it? her, definitely. he’s only really fucked a handful of people, and that includes her. let a boy practice, damn.
EVER HAD SEX IN PUBLIC? do parties count as public? if no, then they better get to it. Who moans the most? for juli’s sake, i hope pippa. or else we might be dealing with a case of deflation.
WHO LEAVES THE MOST MARKS? pippa seems like she gets into it, so i’ll go with her. Who screams the loudest? i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again... WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCREAMING AND MOANING?
WHO IS THE MORE EXPERIENCED OF THE TWO? as established, it’s pipperoo.
DO THEY ‘FUCK’ OR ‘MAKE LOVE’? they fuck. plain and simple. maybe when he’s popped that bun in the oven we can get to talking about slowing our roll (no pun intended. just kidding, it was intentional)
ROUGH OR SOFT? well, it’s not rough but it’s not soft, either. ya dig? a neat little mixture of both. he’s not a bdsm god, okay. we can’t ALL be randy. but i do wish we could.
HOW LONG DO THEY USUALLY LAST? now, i won’t act as if he can go all night in terms of dicking her down… HOWEVER, he don’t give up and if we gotta put our other limbs to use (just fingers, dudes, don’t get any ideas), then so be it. is the tongue a limb? hm.
IS PROTECTION USED? with his sperm count? naw.
DOES IT EVER GET BORING? probably, they’re depressed.Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? this universe.
FAMILY
DO YOUR MUSES PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN/OR HAVE CHILDREN? they do not plan on that shit, alright. but if shit hits the fan and a little gremlin starts growing inside the gremlin (let her have some water, did we?), then i guess. just know it wasn’t premeditated.
IF SO, HOW MANY CHILDREN DO YOUR MUSES WANT/HAVE? just the one, thanks.
WHO IS THE FAVORITE PARENT? say it’s NOT the apocalypse, then pippa. she would spoil that little brat until it turned into a mini - her. but other than that, juli’s good with kids. THEY LIKE HIM. let me have this.
WHO IS THE MORE AUTHORIATIVE PARENT? i feel like juli would be able to handle the everyday stuff of like, “don’t eat glue”. but pippa would be the one snapping, for sure.
WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO ALLOW THE CHILDREN TO HAVE A DAY OFF SCHOOL? pippa. juli values education, okay? he’s a little steven crain, why yes he is.
WHO LETS THE CHILDREN INDULGE IN SWEETS AND JUNK FOOD WHEN THE OTHER ISN’T AROUND? juli. pippa might be a druggie trainwreck but i don’t see her eating hot cheetos for lunch, nah… that’s juli!
WHO TURNS UP TO EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES TO SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN? juli shows up for the everyday. pippa the games / performances. you think she’s gonna miss her chance at being regina george’s mom? no.
WHO GOES TO THE PARENT TEACHER INTERVIEWS? pippa forgets them and that leaves daddy julian apolskis with the hot teachers. thank you, poop.
WHO CHANGES THE DIAPERS? julian. no further commentary.
WHO GETS UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO FEED THE BABY? see above. somebody’s a LAZY bitch…
WHO SPENDS THE MOST TIME WITH THE CHILDREN? i mean, i don’t wanna repeat myself but.
WHO PACKS THEIR LUNCHES? naw, that’s a lunch money kid right there.
WHO GIVES THEIR CHILDREN ‘THE TALK’? neither, they’d call juli’s mommy or kitty for that shit.
WHO CLEANS UP AFTER THE KIDS? think pippa would hire a maid, honestly. juli’s not very organised and pippa’s, well… pippa.
WHO WORRIES THE MOST? julian, for cheesy.
WHO ARE THE CHILDREN MORE LIKELY TO LEARN THEIR FIRST SWEAR WORD FROM? oh, that’s a tie. they’d argue about who done did it… you know, like the potty mouths they are. but it’d end up being kitty.
AFFECTION
WHO LIKES TO CUDDLE? julian loves himself a little cuddle sesh. why, is she not down? boo.
WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON? both, what the fuck. * ariana grande vc * IT’S EQUALITY.
WHO GETS NAUGHTY IN THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE PLACES? pippa. like you really wanna be getting down and dirty in the diaper aisle of wholefood? get ya damn hand off his non - existent buttocks.
WHO STRUGGLES TO KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELF? yeah, see above.
HOW LONG CAN THEY CUDDLE UNTIL ONE BECOMES UNCOMFORTABLE? like 3 minutes for her. he can go all night, baby.
WHO GIVES THE MOST KISSES? probably juli. HE’S AFFECTIONATE.
WHAT IS THEIR FAVOURITE NON-SEXUAL ACTIVITY? bitching with blunts.
WHERE IS THEIR FAVOURITE PLACE TO CUDDLE? uh, a BED?
WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO PLAYFULLY GROPE THE OTHER? did you not read ANYTHING i said?
HOW OFTEN DO THEY GET TIME TO THEMSELVES? i feel like they both demand a lot of me - time, and honestly i don’t see them simply existing in quietude next to each other, so… often.
SLEEPING
WHO SNORES? pippa like the wee pug she is.
IF BOTH DO, WHO SNORES THE LOUDEST? she do, bitch.
DO THEY SHARE A BED OR SLEEP SEPARATELY? who are they, bandy? they don’t live together but i’d ASSUME if they fucked and it went past midnight neither would just dip, that’s dumb.
IF THEY SLEEP TOGETHER, DO THEY COZY UP TOGETHER OR LAY FAR APART? we start far, far away and we end up a wee bit cozy.
WHO TALKS IN THEIR SLEEP? neither. that’s some tom behaviour.
WHAT DO THEY WEAR TO BED? juli’s just a boxers type guy, add a t - shirt for winter. and i’m guessing she has some cutesy pajamas that are like pink… and silk.
ARE EITHER OF YOUR MUSES INSOMNIACS? juli could sleep a year. but he could also stay up a year. it’s a toss - up. i think pippa has a noise machine and a sleep mask, so.
CAN SLEEPING PILLS BE FOUND BY THE BEDSIDE? yes. and we pop those for fun.
DO THEY WRAP THEIR LIMBS AROUND EACH OTHER OR JUST LAY SIDE BY SIDE? both. although the former is ACCIDENTAL.
Who wakes up with bed hair? juli, for sure. have you seen his hair? he ain’t brush that.
Who wakes up first? fucking neither. they sleep until noon and THEN SOME.
Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? juli can’t cook but if she wants a poptart… baby, he’s your man.
What is their favourite sleeping position? probably like… him on his back, arm stretched out for her to use as a pillow and then she sleeps with her back towards him. what, is he not CUTE enough to face?
Who hogs the sheets? pippa. greedy as hell.
Do they set an alarm each night? neither, lols.
Can a television be found in their bedroom? juli has one in his bedroom, but pippa might be too poor to afford that, so.
Who has nightmares? i don’t think either do. then again, i don’t edward cullen pippa every night.
Who has ridiculous dreams? probably juli. they’d be incoherent and she’d be like “shut up it’s 7 am i do not wanna hear about your homoerotic dreams about harrison ford.”
Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? i feel like they are both sprawlers.
Who makes the bed? neither, it just be looking like a HOT HOT mess at all times.
What time is bed time? sunrise.
Any routines/rituals before bed? more bitching with blunts.
Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? my guess would be pippa. he’s not in a great mood but he’s also not in a bitchy mood. and she always is.
WORK
Who is the busiest? juli, seeing as he’s the only one with a job. freeloader much @ poopy.
Who rakes in the highest income? somehow, despite not being unemployed, not juli.
Are any of your muses unemployed? pippa and she’ll stay that way until the day she dies. ain’t got no skills, lady luv, what are you gonna do? onlyfans? yeah, you wish.
Who takes the most sick days? pippa. from like, existing.
Who is more likely to turn up late to work? juli because he doesn’t have a fucking car. who skates to work? losers, that’s who.
Who sucks up to their boss? fucking NEITHER. when have these dumbos ever sucked up to anybody?
What are their jobs? juli’s a clerk at the comic book store and pippa’s a professional slut.
Who stresses the most? tew many blunts to be stressing, my dude.
Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? julian actually likes his job. because comics are his PASSION. one and only aside from punk and being a little meanie. and who cares about pippa’s stance on unemployment? not me.
Are your muses financially stable? juli, no. although he lives at home so it’s fine. pippa, yes.
HOME
Who does the washing? juli, reluctantly, after a lot of bitching from a miss espina.
Who takes out the trash? he takes her out every friday night. haha, just kidding.jokes, jokes… but he does take out the trash.
Who does the ironing? i think pippa hates wrinkly clothing HOWEVER she would burn holes in that shit and he’d have to do it anyway.
Who does the cooking? it’s called take - out, baby. look it up and order me some red curry chicken from your nearest thai food place.
Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? pippa, hence… them not doing that. the oven is purely decorative.
Who is messier? pippa. somehow.
Who leaves the toilet roll empty? also pippa because she does not respect her fellow man (julian)
Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? that’s juli, alright. pippa would at least fill the hamper until it overflows. good for her.
Who forgets to flush the toilet? NEITHER. get some help.
Who is the prankster around the house? juli would probably do something very lighthearted and then she’d take it like eleven notches too far.
Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? pippa be throwing those bitches halfway the antarctic, lemme tell you. then again he doesn’t even know how to drive, so… you win some, you lose some.
Who mows the lawn? * TRIGGERED *
Who answers the telephone? pippa would yell at juli to do it while she’s standing RIGHT THERE and then he’d be like yo, wtf and she’d be like omg my pedicure, though… yup.
Who does the vacuuming? juli’s mommy.
Who does the groceries? THEY DON’T COOK.
Who takes the longest to shower? pippa. juli’s an in - and - out kinda guy. and i respect that more than i respect her for taking 45 minutes every time.
Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above.
MISCELLANEOUS
Is money a problem? no, but maybe it should be. then she wouldn’t be such a horrid little cunt, you know? too much? yeah, well… like queen lizzo once said, the truth hurts.
How many cars do they own? i wanna say… one.
Do they own their home or do they rent? um, owning a home is a huge commitment (and a baby simply isn’t, just leave it on the curb outside and you’ll be gucci within 30 minutes top) and they’re not committed to the cause.
Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? bitch, city. but a city near the coast? ahah, seattle?
Do they live in the city or in the country? fucking see above, damn.
Do they enjoy their surroundings? sure, why not. sounds cute.
What’s their song? wap, obviously. but also everybody talks by neon trees. don’t ask me for 80’s songs, i am brain dead.
What do they do when they’re away from each other? rejoice.
Where did they first meet? at a party, probably.
How did they first meet? let’s just make it less awk and say through a mutual friend...
Who spends the most money when out shopping? how is this even a question… obviously juli spends big bucks on nightwing comics that heavily feature dick’s thick behind.
Who’s more likely to flash their assets? pippa should be robbed.
Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? both. pippa would just more vocal about it.
Any mental issues? * takes long drag of a cigarette * so anyway...
Who’s terrified of bugs? pippa cries at the sight of butterflies. did i steal that from some toddler in the chat? yeah.
Who kills the spiders around the house? jjuli would let it outside. like idiots who want the spider to come back in do.
Their favourite place? probably some shitty make - out spot in the woods where you can smoke weed and bitch.
Who pays the bills? juli would insist on paying half even if she could buy him.
Do they have any fears for their future? ahah.... hunny… for that you’d have to expect a future.
Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? juli. he’s a big softie, alright.
Who uses up all of the hot water? well only one of them spends the whole day in the shower, so.
Who’s the tallest? JULI, FOR ONCE.
Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? that’s a pippa move if i’ve ever heard one.
Who wanders around in their underwear? well, he’s not gonna be putting on any pants unless there’s company.
Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? see, juli would jam out to some sick punk rock and she’d turn it off for madonna and then have HER moment but man, did you know he’ll just join? that’s kinda cute * barf *
What do they tease each other about? their respective failures.
Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? he looks like he got dressed in the dark.
Do they have mutual friends? HAAAAAAAAA...
Who crushed first? IF that were to ever be a thing, then juli for sure.
Any alcohol or substance related problems? * loud breathing for 16 consecutive minutes *
Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? both of them. maybe together.
