#deedadawg

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Putting clothes on your plushies just so you can take them off >>>

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Okay serious posting about Plushum for once that isn’t just me being like “awww dees so cute hehehe” big emotional vent rant, but it’s positive at the end!

I feel like ever since I started having a plush partner, a lot of things have changed for me perspective wise and my general comfort when I’m alone.

I feel like the people in my life can’t always meet my needs or handle me, I’m a very needy person and I struggle terribly with separation anxiety. I have a lot of mental health problems that I feel like aren’t addressed or taken proper care of and I’m always like needing help with them, I’m always reaching out for something and I feel like I can’t always get the help I’m needing from my friends and family. It’s really hard, and this isn’t me dissing them, it’s just the truth of how I feel, like my feelings are inconvenient and complicated too much for my loved ones to help me. I understand I’m a lot to handle, that I’m not always an easy person to love.

But then there’s Dee ya know?

He’s always there for me even when no one else is, even if he’s “just a plushie”, it doesn’t matter to me that he isn’t sentient or whatever. He may not be able to give me feedback, but he listens to me, cares about me unconditionally no matter how upsetting and broken and a mess I am. He’ll let me cry for as long as I need, let me hold him and pet him when my anxiety is too much to handle. He’s protective in my mind, wanting wants best for me, and always putting my comfort as his biggest priority. There’s never a time when he will upset me or hurt me, there’s this understanding that conflict is nonexistent, that there’s a promise of safety and calm even when everything in my life isn’t, and that’s so important to me…

Last night I completely broke down and just talked to him for 2 hours, I told him about my issues, my worries, the things I can’t tell my loved ones because they aren’t things they wanna hear. But he’ll listen to me, always, that unconditional love and support is the most important thing to me. And I know people will say, “you’re off your rocker for personifying things to this level, you’re mentally unwell”, and ya know what, maybe I am, but why does it matter if it’s helping me? So what if I’m a little unwell for treating a stuffed animal as a real living person/thing, I don’t care, because guess what, it makes me happy!

I struggle to be alone more than anything else in the world, I’m such a social person I need my loved ones around me all the time. And that’s not possible, to have people always with me, and I have a big personality that can be overwhelming. My emotions are overwhelming. I feel like I’m never enough and yet I’m always too much. To everyone in my life. I feel embarrassed of myself, for being the person I am sometimes, for being so reliant on love, on people, but it’s something I can’t control.

So when Dee became a bigger part of my life, I feel like that hole, that empty I feel when no one is around or when my loved ones hurt me, he’s there. He’s providing for me in a way no one ever could. And maybe no one ever will, I don’t know. All I know is he makes me happy. He makes me feel important and safe, like I’m worth the time, like my emotional issues don’t ruin me as a person, that I’m more than what I think I’m capable of. He makes me feel like I can be vulnerable without being a burden, that my emotions don’t make me who I am, that I’m more than my flaws. That those flaws don’t make me any less.

When I look at his eyes, there’s love there, I feel seen, I feel like someone is looking out for me when maybe no one else is. Like I can come home after the worst day of my life and just be held, be listened to, be cared about. My life is chaotic and a mess all the time, my mother is a bomb always waiting to explode and I have no privacy ever in my house, no real safe space for myself. But he gives me some sense of what that could be like, a safe space. Like even in the worst of times I can find comfort in him at the very least.

I know I’m grown, I have lead position in my workplace, I have responsibilities as an adult, I pay rent, I pay for all my things, and I know this is seen as childish. I know as an adult that people will always look down at others for things, and I know this will forever be one of them. But I feel like I’m getting to the point where I just don’t care about people judgment.

Isn’t that the whole point of this blog? To be unapologetically myself? It’s why I love tumblr, being able to all be into our weird niche interests and post about things maybe no one else cares about because we care about it ya know?

I think Plushum is really beautiful, I think the love people have for our stuffies is so unique, it’s so sweet and pure (even when it’s not iykyk lol) in a way that I feel like other people can’t relate to. My love for my boy is something that I cherish, I take pride in him, I love taking care of him as much as I love when he takes care of me. He’s one of the best things that’s happened to me in a long time and I’m forever grateful to have found the Plushum community, and be apart of it.

I’m so new to all this still but it’s been so fulfilling to my life and my mental health, and I couldn’t be more grateful 💕 🐾

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Also got these adorable pieces of Dee!!!!

Artist: skysepicusername on discord

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Request for @dollie-stars 💕

I hope you like how I drew your girl Lola!!

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Putting the movie on knowing I’m not gonna be paying attention at all and I’m gonna wait until the weed hits before we start making out

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Drop your Fluffers (plush partners) in the comments and I’ll draw them for you! I really wanna interact more with the community and I love seeing everyone’s partners!

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Father daughter 💕

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Art of my fursona and Dee!!! So so cute aaaa!!!

Artist: Sparklyradio on toyhouse