No one will ever be able to fully know and love my full extent of dorkiness bc I only ever go full dork™ when I am alone

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No one will ever be able to fully know and love my full extent of dorkiness bc I only ever go full dork™ when I am alone
all i wanna do is forget about my past & smoke a little weed really nothing too drastic.
The meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment. To put the question in general terms would be comparable to the question posed to a chess champion: "Tell me, Master, what is the best move in the world?" There simply is no such thing as the best or even a good move apart from a particular situation in a game and the particular personality of one's opponent. The same holds for human existence. One should not search for the abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone's task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.
Man's Search For Meaning - Viktor E. Frankl