10th Sep 2009
I thought I'd be more upset about this. I thought this page would be overflowing with quick quips and witty metaphors aptly summing up my devastation and despondency. I'm running out of things to write - or maybe I'm just really out of practice. I feel like my mind is finding it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand. The act of upset/sadness. The most important thing to me right now is the chicken I'm defrosting for tomorrows dinner. What I'd really like to know is if you're upset. Not in some perverted, voyeuristic, 'I'm-just-doing-it-to-get-a-reaction' way. I'm just interested in whether or not you REALLY care. Like you claimed to. More for confirmation purposes (in a strictly non-religious context). I feel like I need to hurt or punish myself in order to feel some kind of emotion. But all the dangerous stuff is kept in the kitchen and I can't be bothered to get up. The only thing I can think of is the fork from my dinner plate: I could get a few good prods and pokes with that. But I forgot - I had pizza - no fork. If all else fails...(let me rephrase that) Seeing as all else has failed, I'm preparing to go to sleep with my phones under my pillow. Two phones should provide a hefty dose of radiation, which is likely to have serious long-term effects. I can wait.