One of our muses is reflecting on the sins they’ve committed in their life.
Karin slipped further down the cave wall, arms crossed and knees huddled against her chest. She still wasn’t entirely comfortable in his presence, especially in the evening. As the daylight dwindled, he slowly ran out of things to say and became drowsy as a small child. She preferred him chatty because he never expected her to answer and the stream of noise was preferable to an awkward silence.
Deidara picked absently at the meager fire they’d gotten going. "So…what’s your story?"
Karin looked up at him, askance. "What d’you mean?"
"I mean what’s your beef? What are you in for? Why’re you on the run?"
Karin laughed aloud and he looked startled. Perhaps because she’d never laughed in his presence.
"It’s just…it’s strange that this is something I never discussed with my former teammates. It’s not something you ask other people straight up. But I don’t really care, I guess. I’ll tell you."
He turned toward her, hunched forward, and there was a strange, flickering intent reflected in his eyes by the firelight.
"I went to Orochimaru when I had nowhere else to go. No one and nothing left. I was competent enough that I escaped being a guinea pig, but I always knew I was never in control. Even when he gave me charge of a jail on an island all alone, I still feared him. If I left his mentorship, where would I go? I didn’t want any part of the village system that had ignored my village and used it as a mere pawn in their internecine warfare. No, there was nowhere for me.
So I kept his prisoners in line. If I hadn’t been jailer, it would’ve been someone else. I wouldn’t have survived if he hadn’t deemed me fit to serve. And if they were in good behavior, nothing would happen to them. Most of them were men of ill repute in any case, which made me feel better about it all sometimes.” She chewed her lip thoughtfully, and he just stared and stared. "I did what I had to do to survive. And you?"
"Red, I’ve lost count of the people I’ve screwed over. We’d be here all night if I went into it. But I’d rather not lose any sleep over it. Hell, I’ve yet to lose sleep over it and I don’t wanna break that streak."
"Your sociopathy is something you pride yourself on, is that it?"
He rolled his eyes and didn’t answer. She slid all the way down the cave wall, turned on her side, and slept.
What is it about me, he thought, that makes everyone around me discover their conscience?
