My $1 million dollar parking space
In May 2012, a parking space in what was then an empty garage across the street from our loft, hit the market for $1 million dollars. For fifteen years, we had parked out VW Passat in that same garage for $285.00 a month. The hallucinatory leap in cost seemed to stupefy everyone but Dolly Lenz, the celebrity broker who listed the space at Prudential Douglas Elliman. “It really is the ultimate luxury amenity,” she said in an interview with ABC News. “We’re not talking about really big numbers, here at $1 million. It will be more about getting it. I think people will bid above the (asking) price.”
The only place more extravagant to park a car in Manhattan these days would be onboard the Eclipse, the $358 million dollar mega yacht owned by Russian oligarch, Roman Abramovitch. It’s been floating over at Pier 90 on the West Side since Valentine’s Day. But Ms. Lenz was right about the landlocked space across the street. $1 million wasn’t “a really big number.” Not compared to the $38.5 million dollar price tag for the penthouse, which is currently under construction above that parking space. There are five other condominiums in the building, including a 12,000 sq. ft., four-floor townhouse. “Nothing is in contract yet,” reports Renato Termale, a partner involved in the conversion. “Nothing is sold. We begin marketing next month.”
It’s hardly news, of course—the most recent non-sense surrounding real estate ‘values’ in cities like New York. But when this kind of money suddenly moves in across the street; when it is literally in your face (the scaffolding that has shrouded the building came down on Monday. I am now staring directly into the townhouse living room), you have to wonder. How exactly does a parking space end up costing six times the average cost of a single-family home in America? And what, other than a promise of immortality, makes a condo on E 11th St. versus a castle overlooking Lake Como worth almost $40 million?
Enter Delos Living, the company converting our once humble garage into homes fit (and I do mean fit) for the 1%. Named after the birthplace of Apollo, Greek god of healing and the sun, Delos is the world’s first developer devoted to the concept of Building Wellness. First introduced by President Clinton at his Global Initiative Conference last spring, this trademarked concept marries architecture and construction techniques with state-of-the-art technology, creating environments in which it is healthier for humans to live, breathe, eat, sleep, and meditate.
Designed to improve everything from cardiovascular to respiratory health, a few of features unique to Delos include: photo Catalytic coatings on susceptible surfaces that break down bacteria, circadian rhythm lighting that dims lights according to one’s body clock, special water and filtration systems, bathroom lighting with a dose of Melatonin, and Vitamin C and aloe enhanced showers.
Talk about life in the fucking bubble.
But what about that parking space? “We’re lining the concrete walls with solid gold,” says one of the construction crew when asked about its particular amenities.
“So, no circadian lighting?”
“ I don’t think so,” he says. “But it’s big enough for two cars.”
Presumably, one of those cars will be a Hybrid.
In the meantime, the ‘greening’ of E. 11th St. continues... I have no doubt that our new neighbors will feel right at home, strolling past Wagwear, the dog boutique, an Ishta yoga studio, the vegan bakery/kitchen, Peacefood Cafe, and a holistic family wisdom center called YinUva. This, as my own memories of the sound of gunfire that first week we moved in and the vision of two Russian antique dealers shooting at one another with pistols recede into the oh so distant past. Right there on the corner where one of the men bled to death,I see a very pretty little store with a 19th century head of Buddha in the window. I can imagine it perfectly on a table in the living room of the townhouse.
Whether or not we will actually ever meet these neighbors,however, is another intriguing question.
“They’re like ghosts,” says one of the workers, leaving for the day. “They own so much property, they’re never in one place for long.” So maybe they should consider'investing' in one of Bloomberg's 275. sq. ft. 'micro' apartments instead? Tho I'm not sure they come with Vitamin C and aloe enhanced showers.