#derpy speaks

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

[derpaworld1000]

// Ignihyde Book 6 Spoilers!

My friend @lamochii and I were discussing about if they ever found Ortho’s body after the Phantom killed him, and I don’t think it ever said. So— We started talking about possibilities.

I said that a worst case scenario, either Ortho got hit really hard or something, or that the Phantom dragged him to the gates of Hell and thus that’s why it was never mentioned if they ever retrieved/found Ortho’s body. Kind of dark.

And then my friend said for the second one, what if that’s the reason why Idia got his Unique Magic.

Overall, some Ignihyde brainrot between the two of us. We were just thinking about it and now we’re both depressed as shit.

[topaziraphale]

Goddd. What happens if we get another kiss in S3? What if there's more than one?? What if their next kiss is such a messy, inexperienced, but otherwise passionate one again, but this time it's Aziraphale initiating it? What if there's a timeskip at the end and it's them living in the South Downs and there's a gentle kiss done with such ease that shows how both of them are no strangers to human-like affection anymore? What if we get a dramatic hug during like, a high-stakes battle or something? The fact that the door is even open now to them even trying affection through physical touch leaves me flatlined. Like if they hug I will literally cease to exist.

[topaziraphale]

[topaziraphale]

I know A/C will reconcile like they always have over the thousands of years. I know they will eventually save the world again. But I don't want this one to be so easily given. These are larger, more painful wounds to heal, and they are going to leave bigger scars on their relationship.

I want Aziraphale to truly earn Crowley back this time. I want Crowley to finally gain enough self-respect to let go, and let Aziraphale know how much he has hurt him despite understanding that he was also manipulated. He knows Aziraphale is being hurt, but he is hurting, too.

I want Aziraphale to apologize, deeply, profusely, his eyes boring through those dark lenses, hoping that Crowley will forgive him like he has done so many times over the centuries, and for Crowley to just give a curt nod and say, quietly: "Okay. Thanks."

If we end up with a reverse scenario of "We have to work together," I want Aziraphale to be the one asking and Crowley to be the one saying "No." When Aziraphale asks why, Crowley might say something like, "Because we're not friends. We're on opposite sides, aren't we?"

I want to see Aziraphale work for this friendship, this love, the world, in a way he himself didn't think he was capable of. I want him to stand firm once he chooses his side again. I can't wait to see him fight his greatest battle within himself yet. And I want Crowley to take his time with the aftermath. I want him to properly feel that pain and betrayal, I want him to process things first before he is ready to forgive.

Season 3 is going to be so, so emotional, and it's going to make that gentle ending in the South Downs cottage all the more sweeter.

[topaziraphale]

Hi I still haven't gotten out of bed but I'm already fully armed and ready to shoot down anyone that tries to say Aziraphale doesn't care about Crowley anymore or WORSE, never loved him THAT much in the first place.

Crowley is quite literally his top priority, he made that very clear with how distraught he is when Crowley leaves. Why would he shout "Don't go!" "Crowley, come back!" and "I NEED YOU!" if Crowley wasn't always at the forefront of his mind? Why is he so visibly striken and upset when he gives him that last, longing look, begging for Crowley to come with him and be with him forever, before deciding to step into that elevator? When he gets in there, his entire purpose shifts. He IS going to make everything better, and he IS going to make Crowley see the error of his ways.

I can promise you all Aziraphale is going to stop at NOTHING to get Crowley to come be with him forever, as an angel. He is going to do WHATEVER it takes, now that he is the acting Supreme Archangel. It's Crowley he wants first, Heaven he wants second, and, sadly, due to the Mettatron making this offer, a life on Earth he wants last. And that sets up such a FANTASTIC conflict for S3!!!!!

Aziraphale, our beloved, fussy, STUBBORN Aziraphale, is now compromised. He is compromised with POWER. Power as the LITERAL, SUPREME ARCHANGEL. Is this NOT SUCH AN EXCITING AND HEARTBREAKING PROMISE FOR A WILD S3 EXPERIENCE??

Guys, we ALL know Aziraphale let Crowley down, but you have to see that Crowley let Aziraphale down in his eyes. Just as much. That's what makes this scene so tragic. We know Aziraphale isn't thinking the way we and Crowley thought he would, or HOPED he would despite how the world Didn't End. How despite everything in how S1 ended, he was still left with an uncontested sense of superiority that we were all too elated to see was something Left Behind within him.

This season brought all that stuff out:

"We will win of course. Obviously. Heaven will triumph over Hell. It's all going to be rather lovely."

"You were an angel once..."

"Why, yes, I am a great deal holier than thou, that's the whole point."

(after gabriel/beelzebub leave in s1) "See, Crowley, it's as I said--" (back to what he said in the Bentley in S1E2, how Evil always plants the seeds of its own destruction and Good will always win out in the end)

These types of thoughts, and him spending all of the 6,000 years he knew Crowley separating them as one inherently good and one inherently wicked.... guys, that won't just go away after only 4 years of being on their Own Side. We hoped it would. We wanted it to. But it doesn't make sense. Yes, even if the earthshattering realization Aziraphale had that Heaven never truly cared about what was Good did change his character and essentially complete his arc in S1... it didn't change everything.

His arc in S1 was completed when he learned that Heaven wasn't for him. That they never cared. That only he and Crowley could save this world. But this is where the show deviates from the book - Aziraphale in the book is angry. Bitter. Scorned. Aziraphale in the show is just heartbroken. He mourns for the only ever family he knew. He mourns what he always saw himself to be. That mourning isn't just going to go away after 4 years. What is 4 years to a creature that has lived for a possible billion before the Creation? 4 years on earth to 6,000? That terrible wound he suffered that day is still VERY much fresh. It's an open wound he didn't properly take care of. And the Mettatron noticed, didn't he? Yes, you can understand that someone or Something isn't FOR you, and know all the reasons why, yet still wish you could go back... it's how abusive relationships work. You confuse nostalgia with remorse. You confuse nostalgia for real love.

Of COURSE he would seize the opportunity to get what he felt he lost back. And HE could do it. HE has the power. He can make it ALL RIGHT again, everything he's ever wanted...

...and this is why he completely breaks down when Crowley doesn't want to be beside him to do it. Rewatch it. Look at him. Look in his eyes. The way he winces when Crowley kisses him. His internal conflict (Heaven/Crowley vs. Our Side/Crowley) is externalized through Sheen's brilliant acting. His arms coming up to embrace him, but they never fully commit, they just graze him and hover around his body. The way he launches himself backward, away from the kiss, but his body is still slightly leaning forward. When he brings up his shaky hand to touch his lips, and not crying. Never crying. Because he is an Angel, and Angels don't cry. Not like a Demon would. Crowley is all he wants, but now, Crowley doesn't want him. Not like this. Not anymore.

Because, well, Aziraphale said it, didn't he?

Nothing lasts forever.

[topaziraphale]

Aziraphale has a lot of self soothing gestures that we can see when he gets nervous. He wrings his hands together. He fiddles with his golden pinky ring. He smooths out his shirt and adjusts his waistcoat.

I think I have an idea if a new one were to be introduced in S3...

Gently touching his lips.

[topaziraphale]

Hello, guess who still has this blog and is currently attending the prime premiere early gomens 2 screening :-)