Sixam-302, Spring 3020
If I have to keep repeating it over and over until I believe it is true, what is the it that’s worth repeating? You’re in a better place? It is better to have loved and lost? I do not want to hear any comparatives. There should be nothing to compare. Forever should have been the only choice. How could she?
Did I not suffer enough? Did my mother’s ghost not haunt me enough? Was Deja’s birth not difficult enough? Were your mother’s traits not damaging enough to you? I have so many questions for the watcher that claims that she loves us. How could she?
I miss you. I would choose to deal with Belle haunting me again. I would have Deja under the same circumstances. I yearn to relive every single moment with you. So what is worth repeating? That I love you, Jesse, with all that I am. That a smile mixed with tears is an acceptable disposition. You are the source of my greatest joy and losing you is — I miss you.
- Desiree Belle Lavantille