#despairposting

[victusinveritas]

[d4hli4-is-hot]

[diamondshapedcat]

Gonna pour out all the bad soup in my brain here so mute 'despairposting' in you're not in the mood to indulge in my misery....

[torschlusspanikattack]

feeling my personal deficiencies so acutely rn and even putting it like that makes them feel inherent, but i can’t think of better language—

—just have so many things to do and so little [this is the word i am missing] to do them

whatever the opposite of akrasia is

it would be manageable if i just made consistent progress towards doing things but it’s just not happening, there is not a steady directionality towards things being done and idk what to do about it but i need to do something bc i’m lucky enough to have time but not unlimited time and circumstances will only get worse and less suitable if i don’t start doing things at a much faster and more consistent rate

probably the worst i’ve felt all year, i just don’t know what to do to fix the problem of not fixing problems, it’s not that it feels hopeless, it’s that i just don’t know how to solve the problem and things won’t get better until i do

[0pharaoh]

sometimes I think Screaming until all the blood vessels in my head burst would be a Mild Response

[0pharaoh]

would be nice if assuming the best of people actually like. Did Something

[0pharaoh]

where's that Kimia-line from the MSN sketch about grief. "I'm grieving the relationship I thought I would have with a bunch of different people. that's a lot of small griefs!" yeah.

[0pharaoh]

*extremely normal voice* oh yeah work's going great. don't know if I'll ever be close to anyone. Looking forward to summer!