Summary: Yalina Jamali daughter of a well known politician, well educated and sharp, the problem? She has started liking someone that is not so acceptable among the people and society she lives in.
Yalina Jamali x fem!reader
Warning: This is a fanfic based purely on imagination and not to show support to any real life interpretations in the movie only their imaginary characters, readers body is described as having muscles, being tall and having long hair, tattoos, family issues, self-harm, misogyny, death, curses, morally grey reader, MDNI, non-spy AU, Grammatical Errors (let me say the cliche my first language is not english so sorry if you find any dumb and incorrect line)
Masterlist | Hiee | requests
(you guys HAVE to listen to this song its my favorite in the whole film frenchise and it goes so well with the moods of this fic)
Kaala Re, Saiyyaan Kaala Re
Tan Kaala Re, Mann Kaala Re
Kaali Jubaan Ki Kaali Gaari
Kaale Din Ki Kaali Shaamein
Saiyyaan Karte Hain Coal Bazaari
As everything settled into the previous rhythm at the gala, the Lieutenant made her way to her father, the only person she had ever wanted to please. Major Iqbal opened his arms and gave her a brief kiss on her forehead, "Abbu." The Lieutenant nodded at the man.
"Shukar hai Allah ka tum aa gayi, warna waise toh dikhti nahi ho," Iqbal said, holding his daughters gaze captive, her imposing height bringing her eye level to him. He knew she overtook most of the fieldwork on the borders to keep the thoughts in her head at bay, and she did not like coming to their home.
"Jee abbu woh kaam mai busy rehti hu maafi chaiye bohot der se ghar nahi aa paa rahi" She said quietly lowering her eyes respectfully as the older man infront of her nodded guiding her by placing an arm around her shoulder to meet other people there all the men in power who had respect in their eyes for her she returned their greetings nodding at them respectfully.
As she sat down ready to tune out the rest of the conversations happening around her, both her juniors that were following her mostly because of the nervousness of being in such setting for the first time, Alfaz and Junaid sat down with her following her steps, Lieutenant gave them a subtle nod and a small uplift of her lips, both the boys were like younger brothers to her always following her around at the cantonment, its their bickering when they are walking towards her office that gives them away, which makes the girl sigh for the upcoming headache that will follow after both the boys reach her office, so when she got the invite for the gala and a short message from her father telling her to attend, she informed the boys to tag along for her own entertainment at the otherwise boring event.
Lieutenant took out the small metallic box of cigarettes she kept on her along with the small flask of whiskey, one of those old ones that were slim and slept with a small screw cap on top because she had this thinking in her head that she can't make it through the day being sober, she doesn't really mind that people may call her a drunk if they find out about it, there were many things wrong about her, and she didn't like to think about them.
She took off her army barret cap and placed it beside her as she listened to Alfaz and Junaid chatter, taking out one of her ciggerette out of the box and placing it between her lips, while Junaid had a lighter already lit; it was an instinct reaction for him, a habit which he had picked up when he learned his senior commanding officer often forgets to take a lighter with her when she was smoking one day, and she caught him; instead of scolding him, which he had expected, she just asked if she can borrow his lighter with the most straight face ever.
Unbeknownst to him, many other guys around them also lit up their lighters to get one chance to talk to the enchanting officer sitting between them. Lieutenant leaned closer to Junaid 's hand, lighting up her cigarette, taking a deep drag, and leaning back on the couch, one hand going to rest on the couch behind her as she relaxed her straight posture, faltering as she crossed her one leg over the other, all the other men extinguished their lighters, embarrassed by their big egos shattered just a bit.
As she leaned back on the couch, her eyes drifted through the crowd present at the event before settling on Yalina, who was still flushed while trying to focus on what her mother was saying with big doe-like eyes that were even wider now, the lieutenant smirked, exhaling the smoke from her lungs, knowing that was because of her; she had set her eyes on the shorter girl the moment she entered the venue, the girl stealing her interest and attracting the officer who composed herself for her duties.
Then her eyes drifted to her father, who was talking to a politician, and another inhale of the poisonous smoke filled her lungs as her mind drifted back to the days she lived at their home with her father, sister, and grandfather.
Her mother died when she delivered her younger sister, who had Down syndrome since birth; she remembered that day clearly and vividly, and mostly dreamt about that day from a third-person point of view. She remembered how some aunties had whispered in hushed voices while her mother lay lifeless on the floor, wrapped in white.
"Bechare major sahab ka toh socho biwi maari bhi toh 2 betiyo ko paida karke or chotti wali ko toh dimagi beemari bhi hai" one whispered to the other she remembered wanting to smash their heads on the railing of the stairs and keep doing it until a flicker of their skull became visible to her at the age of just 8 years old.
She remembered desperately wanting to cry, to wail, to be confused and angry and ask for her ammi, to feel but she didn't it was like her tear ducts stopped working her eyes going dry it had been her confusion when her sofia bibi her caretaker screamed from the hallway beside her laid the receiver of the telephone she frowned seeing bibi's eyes filled with tears as she rushed to the small girl shaking her "bachi tumhari ammi w-woh abh nahi rahi" Sofia managed to say through the sobs recking her body while her grandfather scoffed from his wheelchair staring off at distance her confusion turned into clarity she didn't have any time to react as Sofia rushed around the house to pack a bag with baby powder, warm water and some clothes for the newborn at hospital but she was unable to with hoe much her body was shaking.
The young girl immediately took over the task, her hands shaking, but she couldn't bring herself to feel any emotion; only a deep-rooted responsibility as she boiled water standing on a stool to reach the stove. She packed the bag as Sofia tried her best to help the little girl take the hand of her caretaker even hailing an auto to take them to the hospital, as her father hadn't remembered to send them a car in his grief. She did not blame him though.
At the hospital, she remembered her uncle Sajid sitting beside her father, whose shoulders were shaking as sobs racked through his body, which was the only time she had seen him cry. Her father quickly embraced her, and his tears fell on her shoulder. She had vividly remembered trying to cry and trying to feel something, but she didn't.
When they were taking her mother to be buried, she remembered just before that in the bathroom and buried a sharp blade in her wrist not to hurt herself but to see if she could still feel if she hadn't turned completely numb, but the thing was that it pained very much, so her eight-year-old mind reached to a conclusion that she was a bad person to not cry for her ammi; she had covered her harm with a full sleeve white kurta to not give her father anymore worries, then he already had like the selfish person she had now concluded herself to be.
Days after those were not easy, the young girl had a small sister whom she had learned to love more than herself, no matter what others said about the newborn, a father who had started drinking more than he could handle, a grandfather whose life had not changed very much; he was the same nonsensical person the girl knew, Sofia Bibi, who was grieving for her sister, who had passed away, and still cried about her while doing her normal tasks, Sajid Chacha, who was trying to keep her father from falling apart, and her demons that came back often in her head after that day in the bathroom.
The eight-year-old often had to drag her drunk father from his car to his room along with her chacha and place a glass of water and a painkiller on his bedside table as chacha Sajid taught her to wake up from school and get ready fast to help Sofia Bibi pack her lunch, which her mother mostly helped with, wake up her baby sister, which had become her favorite part, go to the school, pretend to be normal and not act like she wanted to slice the throat of the teachers who looked at her with sympathy, with her metallic ruler, go back home, study with extreme focus, while her home tutor taught her.
And at night, the time of the day that had become the most difficult after putting her father to bed, she lay in her own room, and the demons in her head returned, telling her what a failure she was as a person for not feeling anything as her ammi had died, which had turned into a painful cycle of self-loathing, making up weird violent scenarios in her head and then feeling disgusted at herself for even thinking of such things, then repeating the same thought process the very next day.
Her mother Razia was a difficult person to understand for an eight-year-old girl; it wasn't that she didn't love her, no Lieutenant was certain of that, but her mother had desperately wanted a boy instead of a girl, so she had been mostly ignorant of her daughter, even when the doctor had insisted that a second pregnancy could be difficult for her, she still wanted to go through it.
While her daughter was left in the care of Sofia Bibi, her mother went to expensive restaurants with her father, meaningless parties with her friends, and shopping sprees where she stopped at the sight of baby boy clothes; she remembered her mother being over the moon when she had gotten pregnant the second time and maybe it was the first time her ammi had hugged the seven-year-old girl at that time with so much love and excitement.
But as the months went by, Razia became more protective of herself, not even allowing her daughter to touch her baby bump, swatting her hand away as if her touch burned, and when the little girl turned eight, she was left alone at home with only Sofia Bibi while her mother and father were away at a high-end hotel.
Some days she wished she was a boy; maybe then her ammi would have been happy, maybe then her ammi would have been alive. She blamed herself for her mother's demise. She thought that the information that she had another daughter was what had finally broken Razia.
She remembered one day when Laiba had come home crying hysterically from school. She was fourteen at that time, the days of people in her family were finally turning normal. Her father had been coming home sober, having dinner with her and her sister and some days letting them have some ice cream. She had been getting some sleep at night without wanting to squish someone's head in her hands until just their mushy flesh and brain matter remained in her hands.
The teenager rushed to her sister. "kya Hua baba?" she asked the little girl kneeling in front of her, and she could feel her vision turn red, not even metaphorically. She could literally feel her surroundings gain a hue of red and get hazy as fury engulfed her when the little girl told her that some senior boys that were in Lieutenants year had made fun of how Labia speaks and behaves. She called Sofia Bibi, giving Labia a hug, picking her up and setting her down in her bedroom, telling her to change and shower, giving her a chocolate and telling her Aapi would take care of it and that those seniors would never bother her.
Saying that the teenage girl made her way out of the house, not looking back at the frantic calls of Sofia Bibi, as she sat in the car and told Muzzafar bhai, the driver her father trusted to leave home to drive towards the park, she knew the boy, Azir, and his other friends will be.
When the car stopped in the park, she didn't care any more about anything, not that killing people was bad, hurting them majorly was punished and that she should have told her father before coming here. The moment Laiba told her what had happened, the demons that had been resting for good woke up in her mind and this time they weren't as peaceful, her family has always been precious to her.
Walking towards Azir, who was laughing with his friends, she tapped his shoulder, making him turn towards her. "Tum meri chotti bhen se maafi mangoge" She wasn't asking what she was telling, giving him a chance to escape, but the idiot just laughed at her face giving him a smile so bright that he almost thought the girl herself had been joking 'bingo' the girl thought this boy had just given himself up to her and her demons to be an outlet to the emotions she had been trying to keep at bay for so long.
Grabbing him by his hair, which made him stop laughing immediately, she bashed his head in the metallic pillar of the swing in the park. The impact was met with a wail of pain and a sickening crack in the skull. It sounded so satisfying to her his friends scattered in fright. All the people in the park turned to them because she was at that age when she had just learnt that she was allowed to cuss at people and use bad language as long as her gharwale wasn't aware. "abh hass be gandu abh kya hua?" she said, pushing his now bloodied head further in the pillar.
Muzzafar bhai's face turned to that of horror as he witnessed the scene before him. He thought Bachi wanted to go to a park to play and talk to his friends. He immediately ran towards the girl. "bachi ye kya kar rahi ho allah ke waste chord do isse marr jaega," he said, pulling the girl away, who showed no resistance, as the purpose she came here for had been fulfilled. She had done it and was ready to face the consequences.
That day had changed the relationship between her and her father when Muzzafar bhai managed to drag her back to the car her soft pink kurta was stained with splattered blood at the neck part some of staining her neck and a part of her chin from where Azir's blood splattered from making impact with the pilllar she knew her father would be angry but her blood turned cold as she saw him standing there infront of his car glaring at her through his aviators.
That day Iqbal realized that in his grief he had bred a monster just like him. But he didn't want that he didn't want a criminal in his house who would be hunted by their own demons, so he sat back in his car telling Muzzafar bhai to bring her home who nodded guiding bachi to sit in the back of the car. Upon arriving at home she sat infront of her father in his office her eyes downturned.
"Bachi ye kya kiya aapne" he asked his voice calm but his daughter knew he was anything but.
"Abbu uss ladke ne Laiba ka mazak banaya" she replied keeping her gaze fixed on the ground.
"Toh ye baat aapko mujhe putani chaiye thi parr itna dimag hota toh ye sabh na karti aap aise kaam izzat wale gharo ke bache nahi karte-" Iqbal started trying to keep his voice low but he was interrupted by his daughter.
"Aap ghar pe rehte hi kaha hai abbu agar aap hote toh putati na magar aap toh kaam mai mashroof rehte hai-" She started saying
"EKDAM CHUP" Iqbal shouted his fists clenching as he threw his aviators on the table infront of him "BACHI MAI KISI LADKI PAR AWAZ NAHI UTHA TA PAR TUM MUJHE MERE UZUL TODHNE PAR BEBAS KARDETI HO" Iqbal shouted and the girl still remembered he had shouted and spoken to her for one hour. That was the first after her mother passed away, pausing and taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts and calm himself. Iqbal spoke again. "Abh aap usse maafi mangegi-" He started trying to talk some sense into the girl infront of him.
"Mai usse maafi nahi mangungi abbu" she said with determination in her voice.
"Bachi agar tum uss ladke se maafi nahi mangogi toh tumhara hashr bura hoga" He warned her trying to keep his anger at bay.
"Mai maafi nahi mangungi abbu" She said and Iqbal sighed storming out of his office.
The next day she learned from Sofia Bibi that she had been enrolled into the top military school in whole Pakistan a boarding in Karachi as Sofia has put "Shukar hai Allah ka bachi ki woh school Karachi mai hi hai toh tu humse aksar mil sakti hai" That one decision turned her life upside down.
The school was ruthless for a privileged girl such as her, but she didn't let it show because she knew this was her punishment from her father. She deserved it, so every day she woke up at 5 in the morning for Fijr. That was not a part of the school routine, but her hostel warden waheeda bibi did it and the first day she sat at that praying mat for fir she felt at peace so it was a part of her morning routine.
There weren't many girls in the school, so only one hostel was assigned to the girls and there she met her two best friends, Saira and Yasmin. Both of these girls brought joy into her life. Talking nonsense and discussing gossip were their favourite pass time when their classes clashed with each other.
In two years of studying there, at the age of sixteen, she became the battalion commander of the cadets. By that this time, she had been confused about whether Iqbal loved her, hated her or was just tolerating her when she told him that she had gained a high position among the cadets at school at their weekly dinner at her home he nodded and got up going to the kitchen which confused her, but he came back out with a bowl full of ice cream placing it in front of her she looked at him in surprise "very good beta I am proud of you" and that line had been enough to choke her with emotions as tears clouded her vision, but she swallowed them down taking a spoonful of ice cream and stuffing her face with it which made Labia giggle, Iqbal smiled to himself thinking his daughter was finally fine maybe she had overcome her demons that was one of the main reasons he sent her away from this home to get away from the suffocation that coated its very halls, not knowing it was far from reality.
Laiba had been the only thing that she missed about her home her sweet sister she often used up her time on the telephone all five minutes of it talking to her sister.
The lieutenant looked at Yalina. She remembered the first time she realised that she didn't specifically like boys. It was a party that a rich army brat at her school had thrown at a big club Saira, and Yasmin had dragged her not like it took her much convincing she loved going to these parties because it meant she could have free alcohol. She had started drinking when she got into her boarding school. Yasmin, the jugadu person that she is, managed to get her hands on a bottle of some very cheap whisky from the warden's cabinet.
The three sat huddled on her bed yasmin although she had brought it but was hesitant "bhai mere maa baap kya kahenge unki beti yaha aake ye sabh kar rahi hai" she said guilt tripping Saira as well who was in general a girl who got scared very easily Y/n liked to say that Saira normally manhusiyat apne sarr par leke chalti hai and also Yasmin and Y/N liked to tease the girl saying she had kaali zubaan because anything bad she said turned true causing Yasmin and Y/n to tell her to shut up before she said something bad.
(Ughhhh itna rokne ke baad bhi y/n use kar hi liya T_T ~ a very frustrated chand)
Yasmin on the other hand was a girl that y/n was sure had borderline personality disorder but she was naturally very funny and adventurous always wanting to try ulti seedhi cheeze as y/n put it. Y/n was a mediator between them she was either in Yasmin's team or in Saira's team depending on who they were teasing that day but that means she always often had to put up with both of their idioticness.
"Haan bhai mere baap ko puta chal gaya toh woh surprise bhi nahi hoga kahega beta tere lakshan hi bewado jaise hai humme toh puta hi tha tu aisi niklegi" Saira said with her usual gloomy expression looking at the bottle of alcohol as if it was a bomb.
"Chup re Saira" y/n said a line she found herself using often "dekho abh ye le hi aayi hai toh abh peeni padhegi mujhe nahi puta chahe tum dono roo pit ke khatam karo isse darwaze ko laga diya hai maine tala taaki humari nautankiya iss kamre se bahar na jaa sake toh abh tum dono dekhlo pehle kon piyega" y/n said when neither of them picked up their glass she rolled her eyes and picked up her glass drinking it in one go she squeled at the burn.
That was how she ended up becoming the bewadi of their group. At that party she say two girls kissing each other which made her pause her eyes widened as she kept staring at the two girls "ghurna band karo chum rahe hai kisi ka murder nahi kar rahe" her head immediately snapped towards the source of the voice beside her sat a girl smudged eyeliner, wild wavy hair and lips painted a pretty brown shade, no doubt a senior.
"Nahi mai ghur nahi rahi thi woh buss-" she stopped speaking looking down at the glass in her hands.
"Pehli baar dekha hai?" the girl asked and y/n nodded "try karogi?" she asked causing the army girl to look at her surprised the girl chuckled "kya? tum sundar ho or mai akeli abh apni ak juniour ko naye experience lene mai madad kar sakti hu" she said.
"Theke hai" y/n said the other girl giggled pulling her closer by tangling of of her dainty hand in her hair guiding her lips to move against hers y/n's breathe stalled she had kissed guys before but it hadn't been the same not even close y/n placed her hand on the other girls waist, smiling in the kiss as the other girl giggled against her lips at the pull on her waist from the taller girl who had muscle growth and strength because of training as a cadet for too long.
The girl pulled away "Bohot sahi kiss karti ho yaar" she said causing y/n to giggle "mai mia hu by the way" She said giving her a blinding smile.
Mia was a big chapter in the girl's life she gave and took many things from the Lieutenant she gave her many first's of her life her first cigarette, first love, first tattoo, first regret.
Taking the last drag from the ciggerette y/n stubbed it out on an ash tray laid out on the table infront of them "Maam aap sunn bhi rahi thi jo hum keh rahe the?" Junaid asked almost whinning.
"Tum logo ki baate sunke pagal hone ka shaunk nahi hai mujhe" Y/n said stealing a final glance at Yalina knowing this won't be their last time meeting.
Taglist: @chai-ke-sath-parleg @eternallyregalleyline
Hope I didn't disappoint you guys also comment to be a part of my taglist!
Bhaisahab 10 baje se baithi hu ye likhne or 4:36 ho gaye hai bhai sorry agar kuch galat shalat hogaya ho this chapter was more focused on lieutenant ki back story and all and this is not even the whole back story this is the longest fic i have ever written istg there is more to her story next part will be more hamzair focused because i noticed ki unki fics ki kami hai to ill try to show more of them in this okay bye abh soungi. ~Chand
