Pros and cons of common diamond-alternative stones for engagement rings 💍
In 1947, a copywriter by the name of Frances Gerety went down in "didn't get paid enough for that" history as he penned DeBeer's infamous tagline, a diamond is forever. Now, that tagline had more to do with subtly brainwashing the public to never sell a diamond to the secondary market than to making consumers aware that diamonds are one of the hardest substances in earth, but they were on to something nonetheless.
The real reason that diamonds have persevered as the most popular stone for engagement rings is not because they're the most beautiful, rare, or expensive—it's actually because of their incredible durability. A diamond has the unique ability to stand up to a lifetime of every day wear and tear and then some. Most other stones, and even the gold or platinum that rings are mostly comprised of, cannot say the same.
The primary measurement used to determine a stone's hardness is the Moh's Hardness Scale. This is the most well known scale, numbering 1-10 and placing all known gemstones somewhere along that range.
So here's the issue with the Moh's scale: it doesn't test durability. The Moh's test only determines one substance's ability to scratch another. For example, it says here that a copper penny is .5 higher than a fingernail. But a human tooth can bite a fingernail in half with absolutely no effort, while a copper penny might damage teeth first. The relative difference between the substances is large, though on the chart it's only a margin.
A better scale to judge by is the Vickers Hardness scale. See that huge swoop between corundum and diamond? That's an 8000 point difference here that's only shown as a one point shift in the Moh's scale. This is a much better illustration to my point: diamond is, by far, the most durable material you can put into an engagement ring.
But diamonds are expensive! And everyone's got one anyway, so what are your alternatives? Allow me to list every popularly demanded gemstone here and give you some pros and cons.
-> Morganite and Aquamarine (beryl)
Cons: They are SO INCREDIBLY difficult to keep clean!! After just one day of wear, they will look cloudy and dirty, losing a lot of their color and attractiveness very quickly. The worst part of this is that if you don't keep on top of the cleaning, dirt and frequent exposure to soaps/perfume/lotion can cause it to become permanently cloudy or discolored. Also, they're a 7.5-8 on the Moh's scale, meaning they will scuff and scratch much more easily than a diamond.
Pros: They're both very pretty, and morganite especially is much less expensive than a diamond.
Recommended alternative: Pink or blue sapphire, pink or blue diamond, pink or blue moissanite, pink or blue topaz
-> Emerald (beryl but slightly different)
Cons: Emerald is expensive as fuck, I won't parse words. Getting an emerald with ideal color, cut, and clarity will likely be more expensive than a diamond and MUCH more time consuming to find. Emerald has an average rating of 7.5-8 on the mohs scale. But unlike its beryl siblings, it does have a tenancy toward internal flaws that make them more prone to chip, crack, or break in half altogether.
Pros: no denying they're gorgeous, but that's about it.
Recommended alternatives: Spinel, green diamond, green moissanite, green sapphire
-> Sapphire and Ruby (corundum)
Cons: Depending on the quality of stone you're looking for, these can get quite expensive. A triple-A quality, untreated, natural ruby will have you taking out a second mortgage. Rubies also have the same tenancy toward internal fault lines as emeralds do. Corundum has a hardness of 9, so it's one of the best diamond alternatives there is. However, I've still seen a few scratched up sapphire engagement rings in my time. CAVEAT: WHITE SAPPHIRE IS A NO-NO
Pros: I mean, they're pretty.
Recommended alternatives: blue or pink diamond, blue or pink moissanite, pink or London-blue topaz
-> Cubic Zirconia
IT'S HONESTLY NOT AS BAD AS THE DIAMOND INDUSTRY WANTS YOU TO THINK!! CZ is a whopping 8-8.5 on the mohs scale, coming in above beryl by an entire point. However, there are a few big cons you should be aware of.
Cons: In the event that your stone were to fall out of the setting, or you needed prong repair work done, many jewelers will turn you away. Why? 1: they don't want to work on CZ, they want to sell you a diamond. 2: CZ is more heat-sensitive than any other stone at the same hardness, so it can crack or shatter when a jeweler is trying to work with it. Additionally, getting a well-cut stone will take some time and research.
Pros: it's so inexpensive!! So! Inexpensive! You can get one as big or small as you like, in any color of the rainbow, and none of your friends will be able to tell the difference. Well, unless I'm your friend. But I'm Built Different (read: sell jewelry for a living).
Recommended alternatives: moissanite
-> Amethyst, Citrine, Smokey Quartz, Rose Quartz, Onyx, Prasiolite (it's all quartz babey):
Cons: at only 7 on the mohs scale, it isn't very durable.
Pros: there are so many varieties to choose from! Strawberry quartz, moss agate, the choices are practically limitless. Even though they're soft, they're relatively inexpensive and make a nice alternative to a diamond ring in a situation that you may not want to wear it, like on vacation or getting your hands dirty. If you plan to wear your ring sparingly or replace it sometime in the future, Quartz makes a fine alternative.
Recommended alternatives: I don't recommend Quartz as your go-to stone, please refer to other categories.
-> Topaz
Cons: It can have some of the same issues as beryl where keeping it clean is concerned, but it doesn't have the same tenancy to discolor. Topaz is heat-sensitive, however, which means extended exposure to significant heat (hot tub, boiling water, left in the car in summer, heat exposure during repair work) can discolor it permanently. CAVEAT: WHITE TOPAZ IS BAD.
Pros: at an 8 on the mohs scale, this bad boy will last you a pretty long time if you take good care of it. Topaz also comes in every color of the rainbow and is readily available, so less expensive than some of the other stones listed such as corundum.
Recommended alternatives: depends on what color you're looking for!
-> Moissanite
Ah, the golden child of the current engagement ring scene.
Cons: Moissanite has something called double refraction, which basically means that you see two of each facet in the stone when you look at it. This isn't a huge deal to the layman, but it does mean that jewelers and their ilk can tell moissanite apart from a diamond faster than we can tell CZ from diamond. Moissanite also has double the refractive index of diamond, meaning that "fire", or the prism effect, is much more pronounced. TLDR: it's more sparkly and rainbow-y, and most people will be able to tell that it isn't a diamond. But that's ok! The goal isn't to fool people, it's to enjoy whatever stone you choose!
Pros: Almost everything. Seriously, moissanite is so affordable. It's a 9.5 on the mohs scale, as close to a diamond as you can get. Any shape or color you desire, you can find it easily.
Recommended alternative: diamond
And here's my list of don't even fucking try it stones.
These are all way too soft to consider. I don't care how bad you want an opal engagement ring, I'm sorry, it's the worst idea in the whole world. It'll last maybe a year or two with every day wear.
Tanzanite
Pearl
Opal
Tourmaline
White topaz
White sapphire. Listen, white sapphire is MORE expensive than CZ and FUGLY. If u buy ur girl/guy/partner in crime a white sapphire engagement ring I will manifest a plague upon your bloodline, full stop.
And never ever buy an engagement ring in sterling silver!! It's too soft for long-term, regular wear. You need platinum or gold.
And that's it! Thanks for reading all the way through this, if you managed it. You deserve a gold star. Or ring. Or something. Hopefully you learned something, and always feel free to drop questions in the replies or my inbox!
Note: the mohs scale was used throughout this post even though I clearly stated that it's not the greatest measurement. That's because, unfortunately, it's the only one that's commonly used and I couldn't find reliable sources for all mentioned stones on any other scale :/
