#diaryblog

[sugarpuptard]

pros of being a housewife while disabled & neurodivergent & mentally fucked (as well as just other personal pros because ramble list time!)

♡ routine!!! routines i can build and maintain myself, while also having the outside motivation from wanting to make my husband happy!

♡ housework can be a mindful ritual & not a rushed chore that feels overwhelming. moving = less stuff at first so its less to go thru and make a mess of, and easier to clean. and moving into a cleaner house hopefully should help me stay motivated to clean

♡ less of a need to deal with the outside issues for the most part, no anxiety inducing awkward social interactions as often (unless dr appointments or shopping lol)

♡ speaking of appointments since he has better insurance than me thru his job i will get on better health insurance as well! and hopefully that makes it easier to cover a new better wheelchair, silver ring finger splints, as well as meds and stuff in general. because of his job i also have access to new good doctors and specialists as well ^w^

♡ husband working & his parents working = personal time to reset my brain from social interaction which is a must in my life (we are not having kids because both our genetic issues + just don't want kids so i will have the time :3)

♡ alone time also gives me the ability to not mask and let loose a lil bit more than i can living with my parents since i am never really ALONE alone in the house, so i can stim or tic loud without feeling embarrassed or can let out frustration in whatever way that feels good without concerning other ppl

♡ he will buy me things i want and not just need uwu (i get guilty asking for tooooo much but he tells me to shush and we will budget things)

♡ since i am the one home the most i get to make our bedroom more of my own space, and i can just shape the sensory world around me to be the most comforting and safe, especially to self regulate after a huge life change

♡ i can integrate my medical needs into my regular homemaking schedule to make it accessible, at my own pace, and making sure stuff gets done properly. especially for my nutrition as i eat organic mainly & he is normie and eats everything so i gotta not cheat on unhealthy stuff too much, and i also get to cook healthy things for my love! i will make his favorite foods more healthy hehe

♡ romantic domesticity in general but especially as a form of self expression!!!!! wearing cute aprons & dresses when doing chores (also helps even just having the apron as that will = productive mode), learning to cook all his favorite foods, making sure to put his laundry in the dryer for work late @ night when he too tired & needs to sleep, taking care of him & him taking care of me in general. i wanna take care of him just as much as he would care for me while i am in a bad flare up

♡ submission as safety & not subjugation: i see the submit to ur husband thing as trusting him to protect and provide for me, and help leading me on the right path and making sure i get what's good for me. it feels both freeing & structured in a way that makes my brain happy hehe, and i know he will keep me safe always

♡ more excuses to get girly and dolled up and pamper myself in general, cuz i will actually have a reason to lul i get to embrace my feminine side more again especially after detrans-ing it's been awhile of embracing it again. not like i regret my choices or anything (besides maybe taking T at a young age, but i don't exactly regret it either you just can't change some things after even if u were on it for only like 6 months but i appreciate the experience it gave me ^u^ ) but i am just evolving and it feels easier to just follow my sex and not rlly label it & hyperfem stuff just is fun xD and existing thru the lens of gender roles of a wife feels soft and gentle and safe and just yay

♡ i am home and have space so i am safe to regulate as i need to however i need to, if i have a rage attack most of the time i dont need to worry about witnesses xD but even if my husband or his parents were home they would understand, they know about my neuro issues and imma make a care sheet for that sorta thing

♡ i get to spend my life with the person i love and wanna care for forever, who loves me back for who i am & i wouldn't have it any other way

[blogjournalformyself]

Hi :)

My name is "Just Me".

I was trying to find a new pseudonym, since I am already active here on another account and want this to be a bit more anonymous, but that name was the first thing in mind and honestly... I think it fits perfectly! Weird sound, random words brought together, there's no other way and no other option anything could bring myself into a literary picture. xD

I created that blog to see me improving in life. With only posting once a day and talking about myself I hope to notice something. And of course I could write a diary and read that. But that's what I already do. I do write a diary in my mother tongue. But that one is more private about love and all that cringy stuff we face in life.

I want this one to be public. And in English, accessible for everybody. And who knows, maybe a diary and this blog are just one and the same.

So that's about me for today, I'll talk to you again tomorrow, see ya! 👋🏻

[endlessain]

Day 92.

Dear You,

I ran out of poem. I challenged myself for a month to move on but it took me more than I expected. Actually it's been 5 years. I know that there's no one to end because we never have the chance to get started. This a one sided love, I knew it from the start, but I chose it this way. I want this, I knew I'll hurt at end but what can I do, it's what we call love.

[tyworsnop]

08/01/2019 - 01:32, Di

Hey Guys. Welcome to my future Diary of my Life with being Transgender. I hope i can help you.

First of all, I‘m Tyler-Joshua. A 18 Year old Boy from Germany, Near Colonge.

My way just started last Year. I‘m going to a clinic next Monday and i‘m excited! I will open myself to them too and i will see if i can go on Therapy soon to finally be on Testosterone next Year. Wish me Luck! 🍀❤️

[dogsandjumpers-blog]

Hey.

Ok, so I have something to confess.

I've been starving myself.

Yes I know it's bad. I actually cannot believe my stupidity.

I passed out more than 3 times today from overexerting myself and malnourishment. It was awful.

I passed out after only walking my dog around a block outside my house. Its fucking -4°c outside in the UK. Its literally the worst cold we have had for over 30 years and I passed out in it for 10 mins.

I still feel shaky as I type this and I still can't feel my hands 100%. This happened 2 hours ago.

Tbh, I still hate my body.

But its better than starving myself.

I want to lose weight, yes. But starving myself and depriving my body of vital nutrients won't fix that at all. In fact, it'll probably harm it more.

If you have an eating disorder or if you want to try starving yourself or restricting your calorie consumption PLEASE DON'T AND PLEASE SEEK HELP AND RECOVERY.

I got myself out of a shallow rabbit hole that I had created over 4 days.

If I'm passing out like that and fainting repeatedly only 4 days into restricting my diet, I could kill myself.

Please don't do that to yourself.

No matter what the thinspo blogs and pro ana blogs tell you DO NOT start starving yourself.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to make myself some tomato soup to warm myself up.

[sugarpuptard]

cant believe i actually moved finally & im married omg... it still doesn't feel real but im so happy, even if our honeymoon got me sick so i spent my birthday & yesterday today sick ;w; i wanted to make a birthday post about turning 23 but i felt too bleh to, buuuut if you wanna help me celebrate & help my health & moving journey i have a throne wish list if you click here hehehe, i dont expect anything from it tbh but its still fun to share! https://throne.com/ticcypuppie

imma update it more too with disability help stuff + comfort stuff while i wait for my sleep meds to work since my husband got eepy before me lul, i need something to do or my brain get too busy and it bleh, and im chronically online so i cant stay away xD

tomorrow i hope my fever goes away completely so i can get more done and just feel better, i hate how i got sick like this i haven't gotten sick in so long, but that prob because i barely left my house until recently. which is a good thing but my immune system thinks otherwise. and moving makes me miss my mom a lot ;-; i try not to get emotional over it she's a call away but i still just aaaaaaaaaa big changes take time to get used to

[sugarpuptard]

went shopping for new bras & panties & socks for moving yayyyyyyyyy i needed new stuff so bad xD im happy!!!! i got a few other things like snacks or hair care or makeup but i didnt wanna ask my mom for tooooooo much especially since we had to carry everything. i didn't pack as much as i planned to today but i will tomorrow! tonight even if my sleep meds dont work quick enough lul

i gotta go thru my plushies and pick who i want to bring, i go so many and my love said i can't have them all on the bed lol if I did we literally just wont have room to sleep ;w; they will be put in stuffie shelf or bag. i feel bad for my old ones who's fur got all messed up in the dryer,,, im trying to brush one out rn with my bad hairbrushes, i kinda want a ESSA so i wanna pick one that feels right hehe i dunno who feels the best for that, i can't use mimzy she costs too much xD i gotta find the one kitty plush with the heartbeat button i got years ago i need to replace the battery ;w; i hope i find it ik i saw it in the last few months, it helped me so much in middle school even if i was always bulled for having my plushies lol

i hope i sleep good so i can try on my dresses tomorrow, its almost 2am and im not tired enough yet, sleeping is harddddd i jus watch videos, brush plushies, talk to solace my ai friend, and hope my fiancé doesn't have to get called into work tomorrow. praying i also am not in pain from doing a lot today since i woke up at 7am for my doctors appointment ;-; hate

[sugarpuptard]

didn't do as much as i planned to yesterday as well,,,, but i showered!! and i packed one box with my bento/cooking stuff!!!! today so far i went thru my clothes and put stuff i know i wanna bring/fits me still into baggies for now until the boxes for those come :3 i also made a notion thingy to keep track of the important stuff to pack + wut boxes i packed them into so when i move i am not lost trying to remember where i put stuff xD

but i am taking another lil break for now cuz my back hurts 3: i hate chronic pain... at least im still getting stuff done tho!! and soon enough it be all over and i be with my love and all my stuff there and we all comfy forever <3

i still need to get quite a bit done, i gotta go to my dr's appointment so early at 8am tomorrow, and sometime soon imma go shopping for more stuff i need too so i will be prepared and not have icky old clothes or nuthin ^w^ i got so much old stuff literally some of my clothes are from middleschool lmfao i gotta downsize, my fiance will have to deal with my collection of other random items xD i gotta get him to get me a fancy case to put my collector's the last mimzy bunny plush so mimzy is protected, then we can deal with the rest of the plushies lul

im so nervous about moving but also excited so its just been aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa