#dick mention

[jackalope-meadowsweet]

ok new tag game for all the non dick havers. What are your dick headcanons

Ex: I feel like mine would be long and skinny and twitchy as hell

@i-said-im-a-fucking-star @thebatrifle @jamm3rz @rockingpolkadots @emilyerotica @viansparkles

And anyone heh

[thexie-and-stars]

Weirdest thing you can think of.

That dinosaurs had 12 foot long dicks

[ace-culture-is]

Ace culture is cursing with "suck my dick" when you don't have a dick beacause then that's impossible to happen

[suddenlymicah]

i was trying to make my gay playlist and i remembered a joke about "he's so far in the closet he's sucking dick in narnia" (i had recently seen the narnia play) but i couldn't remember the phrasing so now i have a spotify playlist called "so far in the closet it's always winter but never christmas" and the picture is THIS

i made that picture

[clothed-gun]

Call me Johnson & Johnson the way I got two dicks

Is- is this anything?

[sillyshortstories]

Lord of the Cockring

Summary: Not all societies value the longevity of sex. Set in a world where cumming quickly is the desired norm, one man in the Shire chooses to edge himself.

Inspired by cultures who view sperm as a life force; some believe sperm should be consumed to get stronger. Some believe each orgasm slowly kills the bearers of testicles. 

Thump. Thump. Thump. There was a knock on the door.

“Will they ever leave me alone?” he whispered to himself. The Shire folk had been pestering him all day. “But,” he thinks, “At least they’ve distracted me…”

He stopped stroking his cock idly, and shoved it back into his pants. He could feel the ring throbbing against his dick as soft whispers in his mind reminded him not to cum. Let the desperation melt your mind.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

“Dildo Faggins, will you not open this door?”

Dildo let out a soft moan. Before he could think, he reached for the door. “Handalf the Gay, my old friend.”

Haldalf eased into a smile. “I was beginning to wonder if you were even home.”

Suddenly remembering he was in the Shire, Dildo looked past his towering friend. “I’m not.” Dildo grabbed Handalf by the arm. “Come in, quickly.”

Handalf crouched through the doorframe and let out a small laugh. “Oh, I’ll come in you quickly enough.”

Handalf waited for a response, but noticed Dildo was preoccupied with securing the locks on his door. Where he hadn’t noticed it at first, he observed it now. “Dildo, you look… exactly the same.”

This, he reacted to. “Do I?” He avoided eye contact. “Well, 12 shots of cum per day is the Shire way.”

“Hmm,” Handalf pondered. His eyes wandered down Dildo’s short frame, and landed on his raging boner. “Excited to see me, or are you feeling a bit… blue, perhaps?”

Dildo turned and let out a ‘ha!’ before marching on to the kitchen. “Do you want some tea?”

Dildo started filling his teapot with water from his indoor rain barrel.

Handalf moved about the house. “No, no. I’m sure there will be plenty of refreshments at the frotting festival.” Dildo carefully carried the teapot to the open fire. “Will you be participating this year?”

The cockring throbbed at the mention, causing Dildo to spill the water on the floor. Concerned, Handalf sped to the kitchen.

“Oh, Handalf, I… I’m afraid I cannot. My cock has wilted and balls have shriveled, I-” Dildo began, but slipped on the water. As he fell, a partially opened drawer caught on his pants, ripping his trousers from his figure, revealing a gorgeous, glistening 11 inch cock. On his cock, a golden cockring.

Dildo began to cry in shame. “Handalf, please,” he started to beg. “PLEASE TAKE THIS COCK RING FROM ME. It’s brought me nothing but undeserved stellar orgasms.”

Handalf, feeling sympathy for his friend, reached out to take the cockring, but as he drew near to it, he was hit with a vision of a grand cumshot. Simultaneously, a powerful orgasm rippled through his body. So powerful, he was knocked to the ground, and accidentally unleashed all of his magical energy onto the Shire. The Earth quaked and settled, as the orgasm did.

“My friend,” Handalf said between heavy pants. “I’m afraid that is a burden I cannot bear.”

[queenmeriadoc]

@ pharazon

SORRY BUT I SAW THIS AND I HAD TO SHOW YOU SORRYyyy

When his future elf lover sees him naked for first time!

[lessthanthre3]

"Are you gonna sew little clothing for him too? "What, do you think im gonna leave Tomix naked on my shelf?" "Hehehe" "I am Not sculpting him a dick. I dont even think I can sculpt a dick that small … that sounded like I was insulting him, I'm sorry Tomix" (Conversation between me and a friend about my current project)