Getting back to my roots with a Hayley edit. Went in with Fake Happy in mind, then Tell Me How and Misguided Ghosts came on as I was starting. I wanted to do a mask of sorts like the one she has in the Fake Happy MV but I decided to trust the process. Go in blind. I used half of PFA Hayley for a throwback to 2020, lowered the saturation on both pictures with a lyric I had in mind "I can feel my saturation leaving me slowly" from twenty one pilots' song Good Day. Found some cardboard boxes which then gave me the idea of using the shredded pieces of paper to help keep yourself together. Parts of yourself at odds with the other, all out of sorts. Paper ghosts represents some of what you've lost, the plastic skeletons were a silly addition with one wearing a straw hat ready for gardening. Another using glue to hold some of the petals in the armor in place. The Hayley posing at the side nonchalantly as if there's nothing out of the ordinary, faking happy? Maybe. This also comes from how I've felt these last few weeks. Whole but missing something crucial in a few places. Keeping from losing the parts of myself I want safe from the harsh reality of the world. Paramore will forever be my favorite therapist.
