#dirandish

[song-of-fairies]

Brandish: I'm Brandish Myu. Who are you?

Dimaria: Not as straight as I thought I was.

[dragonshost]

"All bad ideas begin with you and end with me" -Brandish x Dimaria?

“All bad ideas begin with you and end with me,” Brandish drawled as she followed Dimaria through the corridors of the Spriggan Palace.

The comment seemed to mildly offend her warrior companion.  “What about this is a bad idea?” she countered.  “You were completely on board with the plan a minute ago.  What changed in so little time?”

Brandish sighed.  “I remembered that it was you that had the idea.”  She had been temporarily overcome by her intense, all-consuming desire for sweet things.  But Dimaria’s plans (outside of combat) had the tendency to backfire, and backfire spectacularly.

“Come one, don’t be such a sourpuss,” Dimaria chided her companion.  “You want those sweets - don’t deny it.”  She shrugged lightly.  “What Invel doesn’t know won’t...”

“Won’t... what, precisely?” a cool voice stated beside them.

Dimaria jolted, her feet stopping in place as she slowly turned to look at Invel as he approached from a side corridor.  “Rotten luck,” she grumbled.

Brandish laid a consoling hand on Dimaria’s shoulder.  “Good luck,” she said, before proceeding to the kitchens anyway, leaving Dimaria firmly in Invel’s clutches.

“What were you two planning?” Invel inquired, narrowing his eyes.  He glanced briefly at Brandish’s departing form, but it swiftly returned to Dimaria.  “I assume that you’re the mastermind.”  He regarded her for a moment..  “Given Brandish’s willing cooperation with it, I’m guessing it involves the sweets in the kitchens.  The ones to be given to visiting dignitaries this afternoon.”

Dimaria flinched.

“And I’m guessing to get around the cooks, you were going to use Age Seal.”

Cold sweat broke out on Dimaria’s face.  “Er... no?” she offered.

“Dimaria...” he growled, his eye beginning to twitch.  “I didn’t think I needed to explain why food meant for visitors should be left alone, but here we are.”

She shrugged slightly.  “I know you intend to lecture me,” she stated, pointing down the hallway, “but if you don’t hurry, all of them will disappear down Brandish’s gullet anyway.”

Horror stole across Invel’s face as he realized the truth in her words.  “I’m not finished with you,” he snapped, before turning away and sprinting down the hallway after Brandish.

Dimaria stuck her tongue out at his back.  Oh well.  Bringing along Brandish had worked out in her favor, even if it did make Brandish’s prediction of trouble come true.  Now that Invel was sufficiently distracted, she could steal all she wanted without being noticed.

Maybe she’d even share a few with Brandish, as a thank you.

[alvarezian-shitposts]

Wahl: What's an orgasm?

Brandish, loudly enough for Dimaria to hear: I don't know, I've never had one

[witch-bomb]

Sorry for the wait!

A sweet scent drifted from the kitchen. Brandish smiled to herself, breathing it in as she strolled past.

  Why the cooks were baking a cake was a mystery to her. A wedding? A party? Simply a spur-of-the-moment request from the emperor? Whatever the case, it smelled delicious.

  A quick glance through the kitchen window revealed that the cake was mostly finished. A chef stood beside the glorious creation, dotting swirls of frosting around the bottom of the top layer. Four layers tall and shining with pale blue icing, it almost looked too good to eat.

  Brandish wondered if she would get to try any...

  However, the cake quickly slipped from her mind as she strolled onward, enjoying the spring breeze.

  A shadow darted by and disappeared behind the kitchen building. Brandish paid it no heed; it was probably just Wahl up to his usual tricks.

  A light breeze disturbed the surface of the pond. Brandish took a seat by the rippling water, hugging her knees to her chest. It was quiet here; the wildlife seemed unusually peaceful today.

  She closed her eyes and lay down in the grass. It would be best to make the most of this tranquility while it lasted.

  "Randi!"

  Brandish sat straight up, her head almost colliding with Dimaria's chin. "Mari!"

  "I need your help." Dimaria didn't waste a second; immediately, she was dragging Brandish back toward the kitchens.

  "With what? Mari, let go of my jacket. You're dragging me across the grass. What's so important that you needed to interrupt me while I was relaxing?"

  Dimaria pulled Brandish into the narrow passage between the kitchen and the neighbouring building. Her grin was visible, even in the darkness.

  "I'm going to steal some of that cake."

  "You'll get caught."

  "No. I have a plan." Her grin widened.

  "...And how exactly am I involved in this plan?" Brandish folded her arms.

  "You'll see. Just follow me for now."

  Dimaria clicked her teeth together.

Every baker in the kitchen stood as still as statues. Dimaria darted between the frozen crowd to reach the table in the centre - where the masterpiece lay, gleaming pale blue in the afternoon sunlight.

  By now, the man adding the frosting swirls had reached the second layer.

  Though disturbing anything in the room would be impossible, Dimaria reached toward the knife with care. She grasped the handle and lifted it, positioning it next to the bottom layer of the cake.

  Brandish watched, observing Dimaria's precision as she cut a sliver out from the bottom of the cake and gently drew it out from beneath the rest of the treat.

  Dimaria motioned for Brandish to exit the kitchen. She followed closely, clutching the slice of cake as though she were afraid to drop it.

  Only when they were safely outside and tucked into the alley between the two buildings did Dimaria click her teeth again.

  The eerily still scenery around them immediately rustled back to life. A light breeze drifted through the area, as though it had been stopped mid-breath by the time pause.

  Dimaria grinned, holding up the slice of cake like a trophy. "Okay, this is where you come in. I want you to expand this piece of cake to twice its size."

  Brandish frowned. "Only twice the original size?"

  "...Good point. Okay, three times? Four?"

  Brandish grinned, casting her magic on the cake. It began to swell in Dimaria's arms, growing to twice its size, then three times.

  "You two!"

  The slice of cake snapped back to its original size like an elastic band that had been stretched and released. Both Spriggans spun around in shock to see the baker looming behind them.

  "You thought you could take a slice off m'cake and I wouldn't notice? You left the knife covered in crumbs!"

  Dimaria swore and turned to run away, dashing behind the building. Brandish followed closely behind her.

  The chef turned and rushed toward the other end of the building, hoping to catch the two on the other side. But he lacked the stamina and speed of the two Spriggans; Dimaria and Brandish shot out from behind the building and were quickly out of his sight.

  Dimaria reached back and grabbed Brandish's hand, all but dragging her along. She ran until she was out of breath, then collapsed onto a wooden bench.

  Brandish flopped onto the seat beside her, draping herself like a rug across the bench. She leaned back and tried to catch her breath.

  "So... how about that cake?"

  Dimaria nodded and held up the slice triumphantly - only to have it snatched out of her hands.

  Neinhart waved cheerfully at them as he walked away. "Thank you for the cake!"

  His two comrades could only sit on the bench and stare after him, open-mouthed.

  "After him...!" Brandish stood up, but flopped to the ground - still out of breath from their previous sprint across the gardens.

  Dimaria groaned, sinking down on the bench. "Asshole..."

  Brandish groaned in defeat and curled up into a ball on the ground.

  "Ugh... I can’t believe it..." Dimaria paused. "I guess we’ll have to get our revenge later."

[the-archangel-of-salt]

The Cruel Hand of Fate

Sorry for the late birthday present @sassyhazelowl but here is the Brandia I promised ;) hopefully I characterized Dimaria well >.< Warning: ANGST

Fate has been known to be cruel. Cold, harsh, condemning. Even Chronus was to bow at her feet, while being a deity of time. It was clearly apparent that Fate had a sadistic humor - as sickening as her power. And thus she looked upon me, the wielder of Chronus, and cackled at me. “Such a simpleton.” she crowed, “ I will shatter you.” And so my life was flooded with nothing but misfortune, but my will of steel, core of stubbornness and pride, kept me moving without a single glance behind. Fate must have been desperate I think, angry and desperate that a simple human could overcome all. But of course it didn’t last. She smiled once more, deciding on the cruelest hand to give me. And it all began with that woman. Beautiful, regal, powerful. And I reached out to her, desperate for affection from her green eyes. Yearning for a smile to be granted. Even something as small as friendship would be enough. But she turned me away. Instead of affection, I received indifference, instead of a smile, I received a scornful frown. However, much to Fate’s utter disbelief, I remained unfazed. I was content with watching from afar, content with even a simple acknowledgment my direction. And that angered Fate. So she delivered her final act. I stood paralyzed, watching with horror as she turned her back on me. I stood helplessly as she spoke with the enemy, no intent of hurting the enemy. I stood still, as if made of ice, as burning rage seethed through my veins at the girl MY Brandish spoke to with such softness. With such affection. With a smile tugging at her lips. And it crumbled. Every ounce of resolve shattered, like Fate had hoped for. Darkness blinded me, confusion and despair tugged at my heart and lungs. I desperately clung onto anything, anything that could keep me sane. Yet that was ripped from under me. And here I was, powerless, hopeless, and heart broken, trapped in Brandish’s strong grip - no escape, no mercy. Fate is laughing at her cleverness and victory - at me of being such an entertaining toy. Never has a defeat been this painful…and this numb.

[song-of-fairies]

Brandish, in PJs: Has anyone seen my top?

Wall: Yeah, Dimaria's in the kitchen.

[song-of-fairies]

Invel: I like your top, Brandish.

Dimaria: I have a name.

Invel: By the Emperor-

[song-of-fairies]

Brandish: Hey, will you get something out of my back pocket for me?

Dimaria: Okay, what am I supposed to be getting out of here?

Brandish: A chance to feel my ass.