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Porno Holocaust (1981)

“When meeting new people, I have a few things I'm tempted to clear the air on early. I like to think I'm a decent guy, but some things about me might drive a wedge through future interaction, and I would like to get it out in the open to avoid any heartache. Nothing criminal, but these things can change relationships--so the earlier, the better, as far as I'm concerned. That way, they can start creating distance if it's too much for them. Essentially, this boils down to blurting out some facts about my personality that give the listener a glimpse into my psyche. I'll give you a few examples. For one, I fucking love the movie Hackers (1995) in a non-ironic way. I can't count the times I have seen it, and my life was planned around the near-future I was promised by it in the 90s. People should know this about me if they choose to get close. I also own toys. Not in a manly way, like a lifted truck, gun or four-wheelers. I’m talking about action figures--and what's more, I open them. I'm not going to state that I still play with them publicly, but let's just say they are no longer mint. Another would be the fact that I have, and will again, watched entire videos considered porn without masturbating (on purpose). That one might create more questions than answers for the average media consumer (and maybe a "duh" from trash aficionados). All the same, it sets an excellent standard base for future revelations. I have learned through trial and error that some of the cinema I consume is a little more urm…erotic-ish than your average viewers. I completely understand that declaring this is a gamble and probably invokes visions of me casually watching blowbangs with my TV dinner, but it could pay off big in the long run. If they end up sticking around after that, it will be all the less awkward when this potential pal walks in in me watching Porno Holocaust...”

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